Are Black Women Scaring Off Their Men?


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southsuburbs

What I Live By...
da_caramel_diva said:
Naw im not ashame by any means. I really dont like discussing anything about professions unless I am really trying to date a person. I think discussing professions puts you in categories and people start stereotyping.

I was talking to a guy of the non african american descent. He told me that where he was from its rude to ask a person's profession. Especially in first meeting a person. When he started dating in the Americas he was offended for the longest. Asking a persons profession puts a dollar amount/range on them....He said some other things that made sense but I just cant remember.


Now I can get with that and I agree it is rude to ask a persons profession.
 

Ntelekt

Mr. Telephone Man (1975)
:idea:


So if BOTH of these are supposed "rude"...that sure would put a quick end to a networking function! :lol:
 

Warndalyn

Postmaster General!!!
I always thought, one of the first questions people ask, on dates, is "what do you do?" Isn't that pretty common? I never thought it was rude...I feel it's a legitimate question, when you're trying to get to know someone better.
 

Dr. Sweet NUPE

New Member
Warndalyn said:
I always thought, one of the first questions people ask, on dates, is "what do you do?" Isn't that pretty common? I never thought it was rude...I feel it's a legitimate question, when you're trying to get to know someone better.

That ain't rude...I want to know if you sit your ARSE at home all day...or if you are an Executive Assistant to the President or...an Admin...
 

jag4life

Well-Known Member
Warndalyn said:
I always thought, one of the first questions people ask, on dates, is "what do you do?" Isn't that pretty common? I never thought it was rude...I feel it's a legitimate question, when you're trying to get to know someone better.

On a date it is cool. If you are in the club or wherever you meet people it could be viewed as being rude.
 

Ntelekt

Mr. Telephone Man (1975)
Warndalyn said:
I always thought, one of the first questions people ask, on dates, is "what do you do?" Isn't that pretty common? I never thought it was rude...I feel it's a legitimate question, when you're trying to get to know someone better.


Cosign! :tup:


Hell...if someone asks, it's up to you to tell them or not.
WHY NOT tell them? :xeye:

*shrug*

Now, If someone just VOLUNTEERS the information without any inquiry or provocation...then thats' a bit different. :nod:
 

da_caramel_diva

New Member
jag4life said:
...and rude to VOLUNTEER it too.


I dont think its rude to volunteer it. I think that it should be something that the person wants to discuss. If you tell me out the blue something concerning your profession then its cool. But dont go talking about it almost gloating. THATS RUDE.
 

levarg

The Elite BRAVE
Dr. Sweet NUPE said:
That ain't rude...I want to know if you sit your ARSE at home all day...or if you are an Executive Assistant to the President or...an Admin...

Well what if she was a manager at Wendy's then would that make you think twice before you further pursue that person?
 

jag4life

Well-Known Member
da_caramel_diva said:
I dont think its rude to volunteer it. I think that it should be something that the person wants to discuss. If you tell me out the blue something concerning your profession then its cool. But dont go talking about it almost gloating. THATS RUDE.

That's what I meant. :tup:
 

da_caramel_diva

New Member
Warndalyn said:
I always thought, one of the first questions people ask, on dates, is "what do you do?" Isn't that pretty common? I never thought it was rude...I feel it's a legitimate question, when you're trying to get to know someone better.


I think its about our culture. In some cultures...particularly(sp) the guy I met its rude. Your profession should be something you wanna discuss. Not the subject of an "interview" so to speak.

To others if you are using someones profession as a screening process then that there should tell you that you are not looking for love.
 

Dr. Sweet NUPE

New Member
levarg said:
Well what if she was a manager at Wendy's then would that make you think twice before you further pursue that person?

L, I've dated a chick who was unemployeed so it really don't matter...all I wanna know is...if she's working and if/will she will begin working.
 

MrMann

New Member
NASTYNUPE said:
A response to this article:


To me, it's like the old Chris Rock joke...I'm not going to applaud a man just because he hasn't been to jail...YOU AIN'T SUUPOSED TO GO. So to me...I really can't raise a woman on a pedastal just because she happens to own a couple of degrees and works. I've seen it all my life. It's commonplace to me. There are a lot of brothers that get intimidated by this type of woman...but maybe it's because they've never been around this type of woman.

It's a beautiful thing to see two progressive black people making it happen!!! BLACK LOVE is a wonderful thing. But this scaring off thing is B.S.(to me)


I'm loving this thread!!! I live in the ATL, and thats all I see all day. A bunch of sexy women walking around with degree and some of the most UGLY attitudes I've ever seen! I thought it was just me but apparently this 'trend' is happening all over the country. I'm in Seattle as I write this, and although there are as many blacks where I am, the ones I've seen so far (the women) are exactly the same. (THAT's why I only date hood rats...lol *that's an whole different thread.)
 

southsuburbs

What I Live By...
Dr. Sweet NUPE said:
That ain't rude...I want to know if you sit your ARSE at home all day...or if you are an Executive Assistant to the President or...an Admin...


Why?
What initially attracted you to that person? Could you tell from looking at someone from "across the room" when she "caught your eye" if she works in the front office of Wal-Mart or if she is a cashiere at Wal-Mart?
If she is a just a cashiere and not a VP will that have some bearing on whether you want to see this person again.
I would think that as long as she is able to take care of herself and her responsibility then that is all that should matter to you.
It's rude to ask another person what they do b/c it's none of your business. The money he/she receives from what they do is not going to you any time soon so you dont' need to know.
 

Ntelekt

Mr. Telephone Man (1975)
southsuburbs said:
It's rude to ask another person what they do b/c it's none of your business. The money he/she receives from what they do is not going to you any time soon so you dont' need to know.


Wow, you sure would make for an interesting conversation....:look:
 

HBCUs

Deep in Tha Heart of...
D-NICE said:
As a black man, you can only hear you're trifling, tired, worthless, good for nothing, you ain't schit, and that you're not NEEDED but for so long from black women, before you start to believe that you're not wanted, and needed by women of your own race before start to look elsewhere.

I don't think sisters are scaring brothers off, but more so running them off.

I don't have problems with sisters, never have, and never thought about seriously being with a woman from another race (mainly white) other than sexual, but I do have a problem with sisters who won't let me recognize them for the women that they are.

Sweetheart, I can marvel at your accomplishments, and I'm more than man enough to compliment, and congratulate you on your accomplishments, but when it comes to a point that you can't let me compliment you on it, because every 5 minutes you're reciting your accomplishments to me, over, and over again, then you don't need a man, you need a classroom.

I'm fully aware that you've gone to college, and grad school, and you did it all by yourself. I can recognize the fine house that you own, the fancy car that you drive, and the career field you're in which allows you to pay for all that you have, and allows you to have the nice bank account, but does it make you feel better to demean me as a black man because you've achieved so much?

As a black man, why should I want to be with a woman who constantly tells anybody within a listening ear, radio, television show, magazine, that you don't NEED me?

I'm not picking a fight with you black woman, but dayum, society kicks us in the arse enough, even when we're law abiding, educated, tax paying, hard working, decent people, why do you have to join in on the fight?

NICE

Excellent response. The last three paragraphs pretty much sum up the sentiments of MANY black men.
 

Dr. Sweet NUPE

New Member
southsuburbs said:
Why?
What initially attracted you to that person? Could you tell from looking at someone from "across the room" when she "caught your eye" if she works in the front office of Wal-Mart or if she is a cashiere at Wal-Mart?
If she is a just a cashiere and not a VP will that have some bearing on whether you want to see this person again.
I would think that as long as she is able to take care of herself and her responsibility then that is all that should matter to you.
It's rude to ask another person what they do b/c it's none of your business. The money he/she receives from what they do is not going to you any time soon so you dont' need to know.

It's called finding compatibility.
 

jag4life

Well-Known Member
southsuburbs said:
Why?
The money he/she receives from what they do is not going to you any time soon so you dont' need to know.

So you are all for going dutch on a date, huh?
 

northern tiger

Active Member
southsuburbs said:
What line of profession would you feel more comfortable discussing with men?
Not really knowing anything about you or what you do it almost seems as if you are not proud of what you've accomplished just b/c it might intimidate some men or somebody.


WHAT THE H@LL U DOIN" OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

levarg

The Elite BRAVE
D-NICE said:
As a black man, you can only hear you're trifling, tired, worthless, good for nothing, you ain't schit, and that you're not NEEDED but for so long from black women, before you start to believe that you're not wanted, and needed by women of your own race before start to look elsewhere.

I don't think sisters are scaring brothers off, but more so running them off.

I don't have problems with sisters, never have, and never thought about seriously being with a woman from another race (mainly white) other than sexual, but I do have a problem with sisters who won't let me recognize them for the women that they are.

Sweetheart, I can marvel at your accomplishments, and I'm more than man enough to compliment, and congratulate you on your accomplishments, but when it comes to a point that you can't let me compliment you on it, because every 5 minutes you're reciting your accomplishments to me, over, and over again, then you don't need a man, you need a classroom.

I'm fully aware that you've gone to college, and grad school, and you did it all by yourself. I can recognize the fine house that you own, the fancy car that you drive, and the career field you're in which allows you to pay for all that you have, and allows you to have the nice bank account, but does it make you feel better to demean me as a black man because you've achieved so much?

As a black man, why should I want to be with a woman who constantly tells anybody within a listening ear, radio, television show, magazine, that you don't NEED me?

I'm not picking a fight with you black woman, but dayum, society kicks us in the arse enough, even when we're law abiding, educated, tax paying, hard working, decent people, why do you have to join in on the fight?

NICE

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!:tup:
 
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