If your spouse was unemployed for 6 months, would you give him the boot?


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Ditto to what LJ had sed in reponse to Ntelekt's question

But let yall men tell it, we women have forgotten our roles in the marriage anyways...so what's wrong with the woman staying home for 6 months....yall say we too damn independent anyway.:rolleyes:

**shrugs shoulders**
 
Well, I think the lady has ALLOWED him to get comfortable. Six months is a long time. She should have headed this problem off at the path at least 4 months ago. At any rate, if he wants to be a house dad, and she agrees to it, more power to them. Now, if they have been married for 10 years, she knows how to motivate him vs. pushing his buttons and forcing him into his shell. I think it's time for her to have a serious talk with her husband. She needs to let him know how she feel about the situation. At this point and time, she needs to put a lot of "I I I's" in her conversation. She needs to ask him to do the things she wants him to do. Men are rebellious and stubborn. There is more to this story, we just don't know the rest of it. I doubt seriously if Spirit know's the entire story. We only tell people what we want them to know. At any rate, NO, I dont' think it's time to kick him to the curb, I think it's time for her to try to clean up this mess that she has ALLOWED to take place. Have we forgotten that give em an inch, they'll take a yard??? Just my .08 on the matter. Oh, I'd say the same thing if it was a female. People do what we ALLOW them to do!!
 



Hey Alexxus... are you a counselor or something? If not, you may have missed your calling. I could not have said that better myself. I totally agree. People do to us what we ALLOW them to do. :)
 
Re: Here we go again...

Uh, ByronW, I simply asked the question? I never said nor have I advised my friend to leave her husband. That's definitely a call I wouldn't make. In fact, I don't think she's going anywhere. And to answer everyone's question, ironically this week, ole boy finally had some interviews. Perhaps, I'm being misunderstood, I'm not advocating leaving a spouse when the chips are down, all I'm saying is that both parties should contribute to the marriage and it wouldn't be onesided. This could ease the tension in the household.

And another thing Byron, what makes you think a single woman can't give advice :mad: , although I've just been listening to her, NOT ADVISING.

Originally posted by ByronW
I think we need to stay out peoples bizzness....

She is getting advice from an unmarried girlfriend about her man.....Mistake.

She knows if he is trying or not. If she stays, she is wanting to.
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Ntelekt triflin is triflin whether you are male or female. So I agree with the other posters.

Lex, there is more to the story, but I think I've shared enough.
 
Uhhhhhhh, BW makes a valid point there dear!

How in the "L" can ANY single person think they could ever give advice on marriage? Or more specifically, people who are CHILDLESS attempt to give a PARENT advice on raising their kids? WTF?:rolleyes:

Sorry, the truth needeth be told up in henyah. You will not ever know about a given situation until you're actually in the situation.:idea: Trips me the "L" out when I hear childless people (male and female) saying what they will do, won't do, and how could such and such not do this to their child and this that and the other..... BS. Until you're a parent, you probably shouldn't comment about someone else's dealio (child/ren). My .02 on it. :p
 
Okay, let me say this one mo gan. I am not giving my friend advice about leaving her husband, in fact I've been a sounding board. I'm showing more emotion on the board than, when I listen to her. Uh, perhaps you two (Byron and Panthro) are taking this too personally.
 
Re: Re: I have a question....

Originally posted by LadyJag


Intel, ;)

If you go back and replace HUSBAND with WIFE in the original thread and she displays the same "triffleness" as said husband, then L yeah she needs to go too. :mad:
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Okay then...that's all good. I was just hoping that there weren't any double standards goin' on in this situation. You're right...triflin' IS triflin.


Dtown:

What da hell ARE you talking about???
You can't generalize me in that category, because you didn't hear(see) me say(type) that! :p

As far as an "independent" woman goes...do YOU consider yourself one???
In your opinion...what IS an "independent woman"? (I don't recall you responding anymore after I had posed similar questions...I'm just seeking clarification:))

Panthro:

Thanks for the advice, bruh!
icon14.gif

The next time I see Miss Johnson's two small children playing in the street(as usual), I won't 'advise' her to keep them out of it....since I don't have any of my own.:D

:idea:
OR...he next time my friend Jo-Jo tells me that she's thinking about cheating on her husband, I won't suggest that she NOT do it...because I've never been married.;)

You're the greatest, man!
biggthumpup.gif
 
well i guess i'm from the old school and maybe most of these comments are coming from generation X.
but i only know that women have been unemployed for years and i don't know of any of my friends dumping them because of that.
one post had a very good point on mental health have you ever thought the maybe he could be going thru some serious mental issue being fired/losing his job i know he's a man but believe it or not we have feelings to :idea:
 
Originally posted by bluedog
well i guess i'm from the old school and maybe most of these comments are coming from generation X.
but i only know that women have been unemployed for years and i don't know of any of my friends dumping them because of that.
one post had a very good point on mental health have you ever thought the maybe he could be going thru some serious mental issue being fired/losing his job i know he's a man but believe it or not we have feelings to :idea:
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Bluedog,

I don't know about the other posters but my responses to this thread had to do with more than just the unemployment part. If the husband is attempting to seek employment and/or supporting his spouse by taking care of the home ala cooking, cleaning and helping with the child then that merits some slack in my book. However if he is sitting on his butt doing nothing for six months being depressed or whatever else then he needs to check himself into the nearest Charter Hospital or prepare to receive some good ole fashion divorce papers.
 
Hell ya my spouse would have to go if they didn't have no job............... :redhot:
 
gSU spirit...:)

What's up Spirit...

I never said you were wrong sweetie....I said she was. If a friend asked me about something, I will tell them, rather I am an expert or not, that's all you can do. When people have marriage issues, maybe they should talk to poeple that have been married 30-40 years....That's all I'm saying. When I was getting married, My aunt, divorced 2 times, pulled me aside, and told me not to get married. Said it was the wrong thing to do. I'm like, yea I'm sure you should know when the right time is...:D.
 
I'm with Ntelekt on that advising a married friend or a person who has children when you are neither married or have children. Those people nullify that single people or people without kids have a brain too....
 
Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
I'm with Ntelekt on that advising a married friend or a person who has children when you are neither married or have children. Those people nullify that single people or people without kids have a brain too....
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I agree with Ntelekt on the kids and unmarried thing for certain situations, but this is not one of them. This is a serious matter and people that aren't married aren't experienced in situations like this. You can't just advise someone to divorce their spouse like a breakup. You made vows before God (most people did). I can tell you that your whole thought process changes after a few months of marriage, even if you've lived with that person before.

As for the child thing, a mother's love is something that is very strong--stronger than I can even imagine. I can see you helping someone's child in the street or something like that, but I think Pison was talking about life decisions and discipline.
 



My .02 cents...

Trifling is as trifling does! If the brother wasn't a hustler when she met him, then let the truth be known. However, the mental anguish associated with losing a job UNEXPECTEDLY can be a huge cross to bear, especially if you're blind-sided.

Most of us know folks who since day one have never had a desire to do anything but get over. Sheesh a maid and a maintenance dude? Hell...sounds to me that things are copastatic in his mind cuz if it were me....THEY ARSES GOTS TA GO!!! No mo' cable, no mo' bottled water, drink some dayum Kool-Aid, tuna sammiches, K-Mart specials...ya feelin' me?

On the real...when you know it's coming, you can plan. Happened to me and I was back rollin' within two months, but when you are blind-sided, it takes a while to get situated...especially when your position has been eliminated. All I can say is that I hope homey gets it together before he digs a helluva hole too deep for the sista to crawl out of, because that is what will be left if they split! CUZ I KNOW DEM TYPES, TOO!
 
You triflin, two faced, double standard having women kill me. You know damn well if this were reversed you wouldnt feel the same. Its just like a woman that gets caught cheating on her husband. She can always use the excuse, "my husband wasnt filling my needs."

If he is kicking it around the house, and they are comfortable and happy and she is loving it or hating it, then thats how they should stay. For better or worse means when she feels like the grass is greener somewhere else these days.

I say the brother should sit there for as long as he can and then go get a job, if necessary.

Does she have a sister?
 
Rrraaaa, thanks for clearing that up jag4life. You're a wise one.

That's exactly what I would've said. Thanks J4L! (ps, rraaaa, it's Panthro not Pis... :D ) LOL

GR, we all know that women are truly double standard homo erecti (erectus plural :D ) :p . And they say men are.... Sheesh... :rolleyes:
 
Now that we men done kicked some knowledge to you women over the last 5+ years, what sayeth thouest now?

:D

This was unfinished business. :lol:
 
Re: I have a question....

Speaking from someone who has been laid off for 8 months, I can understand how the job market is. When you're used to making a certain amount of money...just any old job cannot sustain your standard of living. Now dude can clean up and do some yard work but I'm sure we're only hearing oneside of the story. There are gonna be good times and bad times. If she only wants to enjoy the good times and not endure the bad times, then she should step.
 
Panthro said:
Now that we men done kicked some knowledge to you women over the last 5+ years, what sayeth thouest now?

:D

This was unfinished business. :lol:
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Well, I wasn't around in 2001.
But here are my thoughts on the issue:
I would have a problem with my husband being out of work for six months. And since I know him well: At this point in our lives, he would have a problem (with himself) being out of work for six months!

Now if he was laid off and was trying hard to find work, I can work with that... although I wouldn't be happy about our situation. So, no I wouldn't leave him.
 
The responses from these women is SAD

Six months is NOTHING to be out of work in this day and age. Your unemployement doesn't run out until after 6 months. I have MANY coworkers who have been laid off and didn't find anything for almost 2 YEARS. I know people who take off work for 2 to 5 years after having a BABY.

You women on here want to say what you would do if your husband was out of work for JUST SIX MONTHS? If you work, YOU PAY THE BILLS (YOURS AND HIS) and be glad to do it.

First off, if they were strong, then they would not have gotten theirself into a finanacial situation where they depended on both of their checks to survive. So, she should be willing to take on a second job to make ends meet because she dug the hole also.
 
I'm in agreeance. No way he should be @ home and not do anything to help out. Hell, being overly honest, he should've had his wife's bubblebath ready for her when she got off and THEN gave her a full body massage from head to toe every single night. I would've made sure that she didn't have to do anything (cooking, cleaning, dealing w/ the kids, washing, vehicle maintenance, etc) about the house when she left work. She could just come home, eat, get on the phone, and wait for me to put these massaging hands on her and help her to relax. Then I'd wake her up @ 2-3am and put it down on her. (that's another story unto itself)

That's the least that he could've done to show that he was part of and really cared about the "team" which is their union. :) I think I would've made a great husband. :) I feel a thread coming on. :swink:
 
P~,

Why TF would you bring this old ass schitt back up. Hell, it's obvious the men and women are NOT going to agree on this topic, nor too many other topics on this board.

You are messy as hell. :lol:
 
Warndalyn said:
You are messy as hell. :lol:
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What's life... w/out struggle? What's wisdom.... w/out experience? What's knowledge.... w/out having an environment to apply it?

What's a dick..... w/out a pussy to put it in? :swink:

:lol:

Just wanted to see how everyone may have changed over the last 5 yrs. My views remain the same. Although I made those original ones while married. :retard:
 
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