If your spouse was unemployed for 6 months, would you give him the boot?


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GSU Spirit

GSU Spirit

RIP Aveia
To make a long story short, my friend's husband hasn't worked since December. He had a management job and refuses to take anything less. Basically, he's at home everyday, he doesn't do any housework or yard work unless she b....es about it. He has even cashed in some of there retirement money, which they will be penalized for.

She's really stressed out because she paying the mortgage, two car notes and numerous other bills. Actually, I don't know if I could have put up with him this long.
 
Nope

I would just stop paying his car note... and start buying just enough food for me (and the kids if any...) If I needed I would lock the food in a small deep frezzer.

Then when he started to trip I would tell him that there is only so much my check could cover and the extras had to go in order to live...

I bet his ares will get a job then!!!!!!!!!!
 



Been there done that

But,

It was only 3 months, and the house was spotless, meals were cooked and clothes neatly folded and put up during that time. My hubbie helps out anyway so this was not a stretch for him.

I can understand a month or so of just chillin but six months. Naw, his arse would have to put up or get put OUT. :mad:
 
this sounds the type of guy women will bend over backwards to keep and pursure......they'll let 20 better ones pass them on by
 
No whatever you do don't give him the boot the state means to much to me. Besides he'll probably try to sell it with his trifling arse.:flamethro
 
I've been there and done that myself...

...but as LJ sated earlier, not for 6 mos. My ex-husband had been outta work before and he did do things around the house to help out. He did things around the house even when he was working, but of course, we had other issues.:rolleyes:

Anyway, it really depends on the two individuals involved as well as the situation. Sometimes you'll do things when you're married and in love that you wouldn't ordinarily do....even when you say that you wouldn't do them.

One thing I will not do is put up with triflingism(sp), if there's such a word. It's one thing to get laid off, fired, etc., but it's another thing to just be lazy and trifling. If you're not working, the least you can do is help out around the house, hell make yourself useful in some way. Never just use a person and take them for granted.
 
Ask her if her vows mentioned something about "for better or worse". If so, this is the "worse" part.
 
Six months you say? Hmmm...
headscratch.gif
. If he was seriously looking for a job, without giving up and helping around the house, no I wouldn't leave him. I understand him not wanting to settle for less, but if the bills are due and the kids need feeding; and he not doing a (new rules) thang for it even to appear as if he's helping...no I wouldn't leave him, yet, but in the six month, we would have a heart to heart to wallet to bills conversation.
 
Is this man at least LOOKING for a job? Does he have any prospects lined up? I know what he is looking for, but he is going to have to come off that "I won't settle for anything less" crap for the sake of the family.

That is why I am so glad Sperm got out of consulting work. The pay was top $$$, but no sooner than one assignment was over, I would be losing sleep until he got another one.

Brother might have to put that pride in check for the sake of a paycheck.
 
Vinita,

First of all Black Professionals do not believe in Mental Depression or Mental Illiness. When things happened to some of us we don't recognize our problems until it becomes severe.

I strongly suggest that your friend go by a psychiatry office and pick up some free literature. They have some very good free information that she can read. Once she reads this information, she can relook the situation to get a better understanding of her situation.

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

Mental health does not mean that someone is going loco. It simply means that one need help to overcome issues in their lives.

Also, each city has a mental health office, that will give out free information.
 
Everybody has some good points (except The Swac :) ). My friend has been married ten years and they have had some ups in downs. They have even been separated once, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that he had too much pride to get off his arse and find something. Pride don't pay the bills.

As a man, I would feel bad knowing that my wife is busting her but to pay all the bills. I'm sure their child can tell that something is wrong.

What's even more trifling is paying a maid to clean the house, finding a yard person to do the yard work, while his arse is in the house. What's wrong with helping around the house? That's the least ole boy could do. :mad: I realize marriage is give an take, but damn.
 
Spirit,

Sounds like your friend is doing ALL of the giving and her husband ALL of the taking.

Personally, I would be flipping through the yellow pages right about now looking for a good divorce attorney. This relationship is NOT healthy. Furthermore, I hope they don't have a little boy because this is the last example he needs to see. :confused:
 
Hey Lady Jag,

Actually, it seems like they are headed for a divorce at the rate they're going. There son is 10 years old.
 
He needs a little help... He needs a job... He needs some prayer... and Jag4Life said it best "this is the WORSE part"....


So would you stay married only when things are good? Or can you stick it out?
 



I'm sorry Ms Jag, but........

Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
He needs a little help... He needs a job... He needs some prayer... and Jag4Life said it best "this is the WORSE part"....


So would you stay married only when things are good? Or can you stick it out?
Click to expand...

He needs more than a little help. Homeboy needs to grow some balls and handle his business as HEAD of the HOUSEHOLD. From Spirit's posts it seems as though he has not done a damn thing for SIX freakin months. At the rate the wife is going she could be six feet under from the stress of taking care of everything to keep the household going and raising their son. How long should she have to do this before he feels the need to get a job and contribute to the families' well being. Now, if he is actively trying to seek employment, furthering his education AND helping out with the housework then that is something different.
 
with the way marriage is described on here, to hell with it...

stay single and have fun....I see the word ex to many times
 
If his pride?? or whatever won't allow him to take a lower paying job and he is unable, unwilling, or just won't see how it is affecting the wife and children, then the "L" with him. For better or worse goes both ways. There is only worse in a situation where one spouse is handling everything against her/his will. Illness, accident and major calamity is one thing, but laziness is another. GET A JOB OR GET OUT!:mad:
 
I have a question....

Okay ladies, what if it was the WOMAN who was unemployed for 6 months....would you all react to HER in the same fashion???


Please enlighten....:)
 
Here we go again...

I think we need to stay out peoples bizzness....

She is getting advice from an unmarried girlfriend about her man.....Mistake.

She knows if he is trying or not. If she stays, she is wanting to.
 
Her getting advice from someone who isn't married is not a mistake if that person is her FRIEND and she ASKED that person for some advice ...

Talk about staying out of people's business ...
 
Re: I have a question....

Originally posted by Ntelekt
Okay ladies, what if it was the WOMAN who was unemployed for 6 months....would you all react to HER in the same fashion???


Please enlighten....:)
Click to expand...


I know I wouldn't have my arse sitting around the house for six months ... unless it was agreed upon beforehand that I would be staying at home. Now, if I am supposed to be working, you can best believe brother man won't be having a whole lot of that foolishness!
 
Re: I have a question....

Originally posted by Ntelekt
Okay ladies, what if it was the WOMAN who was unemployed for 6 months....would you all react to HER in the same fashion???


Please enlighten....:)
Click to expand...

Intel, ;)

If you go back and replace HUSBAND with WIFE in the original thread and she displays the same "triffleness" as said husband, then L yeah she needs to go too. :mad:
 
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