Homosexuality 'Born' with it or 'Buck with it?

[GramFan]

Tigerpide

I agree with every single thing you posted in this thread but the following statement in your first post, IMO, really nails it down:

Also, there is probably not one right answer.

Three guys. Guy #1 is a cousin of mine, Guy #2 is from the old neighborhood and Guy #3 is an older homeboy.

Guy #1 is young. In fact he is a senior in high school. When he was a little boy he was bad as hell. I couldnt stand the little isht. One day one of his cousins told me that he was going to be gay. I was like "man, he's just a 3 yr old. Why are you saying that about him? He's so damn bad there is no way he'll be gay." Shortly afterwards I would see him and started noticing how feminine he was (just as his cousin had said). All of a sudden he was not only bad with but he was bad with the Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweahter patented "z" snap. LOL. That was then. I was hoping he was just feminine like that. Now, he is 17 yrs old and gay as a blade. Good news for you Southern people. You'll have his little sweet ass on your campus in the FALL.:flippy:

Guy #2 is not as young and I didnt meet him until he was like 10 yrs old. He was already sweet as a watermelon when I met him but I was told by his older brother that when his mom was pregnant with him she wanted a girl so bad that when he born she treated him like a girl so much that she groomed a sugarpop. He came out of the closet while a freshman in college although I always felt he had one cheek in and one cheek out of the the closet since the day I met him.

Guy #3 is older than I am and was a good high school athlete. He went to prison for some foolisness about 15 yrs ago and, according to the old schoolers, got turned out there. He has 4 kids but he and his wife did not reunite when he got out of prison. He lives alone and supposedly is a johnson lover. My sister told me that he sleeps with this married dude. I dont know for sure if that's true as I haven't seen it for myself but I believe her. He isn't at all the same macho guy I knew before. Friendly but sugarry.

In all, I think Guy #1 (cousin) born that way. Guy #2 (neighborhood friend) could have born that way but his rearing (no pun intended) sure as hell wasn't conducive to him ever being a straight male. Guy #3 (older homey), to me, has chosen his lifestyle. He got pummeled in the joint, enjoyed it or learned to enjoy it and now has chosen that lifestyle.

The bottom line for me is that I just dont feel you can pinpoint one thing that causes/helps determine people to be gay.

 

[Tigerpride]

y'all know what I often ponder over? Why is it soooooo many gay folks in church? I mean, I see so many gay men, in the church house. What is up w/that?

ONE reason is because they grow in the church. Some of them are not like the other little boys so they usher, sing and the choir and love the praise of Sister so and so. The other little boys would rather stay home and kick rocks.

 

[staggalee83]

, I thought I was against the genetic theory. To me genetics determine things like hair color, skin tone, head shape...not sexuality and violence. To ME, those are totally differnent issues. Also, people in general are violent and there are documented SOCIAL factors that lead to it, like being abused as a child, having to fend for yourself in a bad neighborhood etc... How do you separate the causes. I actually think that is a horrible analogy. You can't compare gay to any of that stuff.

Like the other person said ....................Free pass.

It's the same anology...................the only difference is the words "Gay People" is used instead of "Black People".

Social factors don't contribute to a person being gay..................OK..............but social factors contribute to a person being violent.

Free pass...............

 

[Tigerpride]

No man... you are speaking of dudes who were already gay. Some cats probably go to prison and just do it because they are horny and get tired of jacking.

I just can't see a straight man getting THAT horny and tired of jacking but hey, that's just me.

 

[Tigerpride]

Like the other person said ....................Free pass.

It's the same anology...................the only difference is the words "Gay People" is used instead of "Black People".

Social factors don't contribute to a person being gay..................OK..............but social factors contribute to a person being violent.

Free pass...............

Ok, well name the social factors that lead to a person being gay?

 

[coldsweat]

For those who say it's a choice, let me ask....why do you think that people would CHOOSE a lifestyle that they know they would be ridiculed, or possibly even KILLED for?

The same reason why those guys pretending to be majoretts from Alabama State performed a while ago at a football game! :what: :smh: :vomit:

 

[coldsweat]

How many of us know some little kid (say boy) who is under the age of 10 that is a little more femine than the other boys? How do you explain that?

He hung around too many damn women when he was young, and his parents did instill enough manliness in him when they were raising him! :look:

 

[Tigerpride]

In all, I think Guy #1 (cousin) born that way. Guy #2 (neighborhood friend) could have born that way but his rearing (no pun intended) sure as hell wasn't conducive to him ever being a straight male. Guy #3 (older homey), to me, has chosen his lifestyle. He got pummeled in the joint, enjoyed it or learned to enjoy it and now has chosen that lifestyle.

Guy # 3 could be a chosen case BUT I would bet that 95% of gay men have not been to prison. Even in this case, this man may not have sat down and make a decision to have sex with men. He could have been raped. Also, just because he was married does not necessarily mean he was never curious, gay or bisexual to begin with. If he was straight, would have have ever "decided" to become gay?

 

[majiksity]

TP major up's to you for your thoughts you have shared on this thread and most of them I tend to agree with you. I also know men and women that have been in heterosexual relationships and are now in homosexual relationships. Bottom line is again it makes no never mind to me whether they are born with it or not...we spend too much time again on issues that unless it has an effect on you personally- it should matter not to you what goes on. And I am not homophobic - nor homosexual - and as long as homosexual men dont try to come on to me - then we dont have any problems lol.

But I do think this is great dialogue.

 

[cat daddy]

He hung around too many damn women when he was young, and his parents did instill enough manliness in him when they were raising him! :look:

How do you instill Manliness?

 

[coldsweat]

How do you instill Manliness?

Growing up, children imitate a lot of what they see grown ups do. Whether it's imitating the way they talk, or even handle themselves, children often times pick small things up and it eventually creates an innate ability in them to store that trait as apart of their personality.

I remember when I was a little kid playing in the backyard with my two friends and my sister came outside to play with us. After around 3 hours of playing, one of my friends started picking up on the way my sister was walking and talking, and the next day at school he started to imitate it. :smh: It started off as a joke but got out of hand eventually.

Needless to say, I stopped hanging around that friend because he didn't have a father figure or man figure let alone at home to tell him to stop imitating young girls. To this day, he still acts feminine, although he "claims" he isn't gay! :lol: But if grown up would have instilled some type of "manliness" i.e. gender roles or duties, I doubt he would of experienced the problems he has currently.

 

[Tigerpride]

Needless to say, I stopped hanging around that friend because he didn't have a father figure or man figure let alone at home to tell him to stop imitating young girls. To this day, he still acts feminine, although he "claims" he isn't gay! :lol: But if grown up would have instilled some type of "manliness" i.e. gender roles or duties, I doubt he would of experienced the problems he has currently.

So masculine men can't raise a gay child? Also, why does a gay person have to be feminine? Also, that experience was probably not the first time he acted that way. You probably just never noticed. MOST households don't condone men acting like females...hence the DL phenomenon!!

I actually thought you were being sarcastic in your first comment. LOL

 

[jelli]

Come on how many of know of some little fella that migrated towards the dolls, or like the dress in his mom's stuff. I have friend who cousin kid he's 6, wanted to be a cheerleader for Holloween or he likes his sisters dolls. His dad keeps trying to push boy stuff liek sports and cars on him but he doesn't take to that. The boy is fiminine. I am not saying that he will be gay but more than likely he will be.

Not all gay men are feminine not gay women are masucline. There are some very masculine gay men out there and vise versa for women.

 

[jag4life]

Well, I guess I need to read/see her interview.

http://sports.espn.go.com/wnba/news/story?id=2204322

I didn't always know I was gay. I honestly didn't. Do I think I was born this way? No. And that's probably confusing to some, because I know a lot of people believe that you are.

I've been married, and I have an 8-year-old son. Being with a man was what I wanted. When I got divorced in 1999, it wasn't because I'm gay. I'm three years older than my ex-husband, and I matured a lot faster than he did.

 

[Tigerpride]

Come on how many of know of some little fella that migrated towards the dolls, or like the dress in his mom's stuff. I have friend who cousin kid he's 6, wanted to be a cheerleader for Holloween or he likes his sisters dolls. His dad keeps trying to push boy stuff liek sports and cars on him but he doesn't take to that. The boy is fiminine. I am not saying that he will be gay but more than likely he will be.

Not all gay men are feminine not gay women are masucline. There are some very masculine gay men out there and vise versa for women.

But jelli, they CHOSE to like dolls. Why would a 6 year old boy want to play outside with nasty dogs and sweaty little boys when he could bake cookies in the Easy Bake Oven with his sister? It's his choice just like when he gets tired of baking, he is gonna choose to be a pusher on the street....it's all the same thing.... :smash:

In America, we have a long way to go.

 

[Olde Hornet]

I think its a mix - some are born gay and others make a choice.

I will see what science has to say. Most science is leading towards born that way.

 

[coldsweat]

Also, why does a gay person have to be feminine?

Uhh....are you serious? Please tell me you are not serious! Come the f_kcu on TP! :lol: :lol: You and I know damn well that most gays try that damn hardest to imitate women. They even go so far as to cross dress, wear finger nail polish, high heels, wigs, and even try to imitate their bodily gestures! :smh:

C'mon TP, please. :look:

 

[coldsweat]

I will see what science has to say. Most science is leading towards born that way.

And that's where you will "kufc up"! :smh:

 

[Tigerpride]

http://sports.espn.go.com/wnba/news/story?id=2204322

Okay, well that's one example and another one is the Terri McMillan's ex-husband. He says he did not know he was gay either. To be honest (and I know this is hipocritical), I don't believe him and I don't believe Swoopes.

Five years ago, when I told my mom I'm gay, her reaction wasn't any different than I expected. She just said, "I figured." I don't know exactly what that meant, but I could see the hurt and disappointment.

If you read the article, you can tell/infer that her mom knew when she was a child.

On the other hand, human sexuality has many variables and she could be (in what I would call) a minority case. If you want my opinion, she was miserable having to take that pole every night because she wanted what she really wanted...some tits and coochie to rub against and lick on. How many women you know get so fed up with their husbands that they just turn gay? Why would she lie? Because she can face being a lesbian but she can't face being a liar and manipulator to the father of her children and to her children. Again, my opinion based solely on THIS being an isolated case to ME.

I think Johnathan (McMillan's ex) was after money.

 

[jag4life]

Maybe her mom "figured: just because she is in the WNBA. If ANY female professional basketball player came out most people would say "I'm not surprised".

 

[Tigerpride]

Maybe her mom "figured: just because she is in the WNBA. If ANY female professional basketball player came out most people would say "I'm not surprised".

There was a childhood inference in the beginning of the article when she was trying to get her to play with dolls and other girl stuff. Just wasn't in ole Cheryl...LOL

 

[Quietstorm]

This is a follow up to my last post on the subject.

4 Myths about Homosexuality

MYTH
1. Homosexuality is a normal and natural lifestyle for some.

FACT

- No one has yet to come up with a definitive cause for homosexuality

MYTH
2. Homosexuality is a healthy and comfortable lifestyle

FACTS

-Less than 2 % of homosexuals live to be 65 years of age
-Medium death age for homo - men is 38
-Medium death age for homo - female is 45
-Most homosexual deaths are attributed to abnormal liver & rectal cancers, HIV, HEP B,
and suicide. Yes the suicide rate is much higher for those living that
lifestyle

MYTH
3. 10% of the American population is homosexual

FACTS
- That report came from the outdated Kinsley report over 40 yrs ago.
- Study from the Univ. Of Chicago shows actually 2.8 % men and 1.4% female
identify themselves as homsexuals
MYTH
4. Homosexuality is immutable
FACTS
-www.exodus-international.org

----
No one can say what causes homosexuality for sure but, many had these patterns common
1. Lack of same sex parental bonding or surrogate figure
2. Sexual abuse as a child or a strategic time in psychological development
3. Peer rejection of someone who already maybe dealing with some sort of homosexual notion.


So TP, I am not buying that mental and chemical womb stuff. Out of all the millions of dollars that have been put into research, why hadn't scientists, genetists, come out with a definitive answer?

 

[GramFan]

Guy # 3 could be a chosen case BUT I would bet that 95% of gay men have not been to prison. Even in this case, this man may not have sat down and make a decision to have sex with men. He could have been raped. Also, just because he was married does not necessarily mean he was never curious, gay or bisexual to begin with. If he was straight, would have have ever "decided" to become gay?

I don't know. That's why I would never try to pinpoint anything. This was just a wild guess on my part. That's why I said "I think" in my previous post. Just throwing it out there. It really is a "who knows" because we really don't know.

 

[Olde Hornet]

And that's where you will "kufc up"! :smh:

Why? You dont believe that science can prove something true or false? Have you rejected science?

 

[Seeing Spots]

I was out all day and couldn't get into this conversation until now...

I have two little cousins who are 2 months apart. They were best friends and did everything together. Boy #1 lived with his mother and grandmother. His parents were divorced, but his father was very much a part of his life although he lived on the other side of the country. Saw his dad regularly, etc. BUT he was reared in a house on a daily basis with TWO WOMEN.

Boy #2 lived with his mom and dad and saw his grandmother and grandfather every day and his paternal grandfather, uncles, male cousins, etc. all the time.

Boy #2 ALWAYS ACTED GAY...lisp, singing gay assed songs by Mary J. Blige, whining ass, was not into sports, never wanted to play outside, like clothes, was a praise dancer at church all from 3-4 years old! Boy #1 was all boy, all the time, liked women watched those videos and get aroused, playing football, basketball, soccer, was outside all the time!

They are now 19 years old and Boy #2 is funny as a $14 bill and Boy #1 reared, chiefly by 2 women (his dad died when he was 12) is a M-A-N-E, the biggest whore this side of the Pacos.

That's when I started thinking DAYUM, is a person born with their sexual orientation in place? :xeye: