CEE DOG
Well-Known Member
Those type of chicks live in Bama also. Their mentality is amazing!
An Open Letter To The Black Women Who We Failed
- Thread starter Tiger1
- Start date
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Please! EVERYBODY has options. But the fact you inserted that into a topic which is about black women...you wanted a reaction...
And let me ask you, why is it wrong for a 35 year old woman with multiple kids to still think she is the shit? HOW MANY men have multiple kids with multiple baby mamas and are over 35 and think they are the shit...fills up a stadium...
Da Sleeper
Well-Known Member
Both of them ain't shit. Shows just how lost some of these sistas are, the lay up with and kisd the azz of that sorry azz dude with multiple kids and baby mommas. They see he ain't taking care of the othr kids but I think it's going to be different with them and they have one too. They do this s*** with multiple dudes and have multiple babies. They run across me see your brother doing all right now their ass want to be wholesome. They will tell you I'm looking for a good man to help me take care of my kids and be a good example to them. I let their asses know quick I have my own damn kids to take care of. I don't take care of another man kids. Lil Mama you picked a daddy's now you deal with them choices you made. Now I don't have a problem dating a woman with kids because I have kids, but she needs me be provide for her own damn kids just like I provide for my own kids. Shidd, lately I've been dating women damn near 50 cuz they kids is grown. Q Big Pokey I'm in love with the older woman... her kids is grown and they don't live there...
The Founder
Well-Known Member
I told my wife if she had more than one child we would not be together. It's a choice. I have gone through drama with my son's biological dad and it is going to get worse this year because we hired an attorney to start the adoption process. His dad has never paid child support but has an order to pay. He has never attended a football game, took him to get a haircut, etc....
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Y'all slapping what that dude said out the park!!! Yes, they both might not be shit...but then you left your tirade on the sistas...it still taking 2 to make those babies and to not do right by them, eh?
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
I won't marry anyone with little kids..I don't want to redo the PTA/soccer mom/my mama said you better not touch me/you ain't my mama phase...
The Founder
Well-Known Member
I feel you. I remember when my son wanted to jump bad...I straight told him..."you can call your pappy...pack all the clothes YOU purchased yourself and the items YOU purchase yourself ...and the items he purchased for you and call him to come get you." He hushed up real quick.
Da Sleeper
Well-Known Member
You can call it a tirade or what ever you want that's fine. I speak from my experience. Black women say they want that good black man. Well when we tell you what it takes you say we are bashing you.
As was stated before black women have very little accountability. I know a man right now just found out his 26 year old son ain't his. Dude paid child support for 13 years after their divorce. Black women will look you straight in the eye when they know that ain't yo youngin. Shit hit the fan you ain't getting your $ back. Folks telling my boy that's your son, you raised him the rest don't matter. Ain't that some B.S.?
The momma ain't remorseful at all, didn't apologize or nothing. She did that shat on purpose because she knew the dude she was messing with wasn't bout shit. If a man did this black women would go crazy taking off wigs and cutting out weave. Just like when one of these black females have to pay child support or their husbands in a divorce.
Talk about a double stastandard...
The Founder
Well-Known Member
Speaking to those same lines....My wife and I were around some of her family members speaking about marriage and of course "The Founder piss everybody off statements began to flow." Here they are:
1. I'm a simple man, I require my wife to cook me a few meals per week, some interesting bedroom fun, and allow me to watch television in peace. I don't drink liquor or smoke so my relaxation is TV.
2. If you not married you can give marriage advice.
3. If you divorced the only advice you can give about marriage is how to properly get a divorce.
4. If you have more than one baby daddy there is nothing you can say about relationships except that you know how to have relations.
5. If you a man and have a few baby mommas the only thing you can say about marriage is that you don't use a condom.
6. Yall niggas stupid and I don't do stupid.
By then they were all good and hot and I went in her grandmother's bedroom and started watching TV.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Here is my experience typing...black men SAY they want a great woman...will have a ride or die, will show you daily, work with you. Your man asked you to have a kid--she did. Your man asked you to lie to the police- she did. When her dude got locked up , he asked her to wait...she did for years--cause our job is to support our men. Man, they have problems or that dude gets out and they forget EVERYTHING he asked her to do for him and promises made. NO loyalty, tears or sadness about all that time and life wasted doing HIS biding... And Lord, HOW MANY dudes got outside kids? How many household resources go to children she don't know nothing about until he dies? Please BOTH sides got horror stories.
But back to the original point, this is a topic about black women and yet, you needed to insert Becky ... WHY if we conversing on BM/BF issues and apologizing and getting to better? She aint the answer or got the answer....
Da Sleeper
Well-Known Member
I agree Becky does not have the answer. Also, you are so right both sides have horror stories so both sides need to acknowledge this point. So don't come in here saying the Brother has been oppressing the sisters. Americans of African descent have done a number in each other both male and female. These sisters and this author, are like caucasians. Telling brotherd our hurt, pain, and difficulties don't matter. We men suck it up right? Both sexes of our race owe the other; and one no more than the other greater respect and accountability.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
No, I didn't get that at ALL and have never felt that way. Black women are the least acknowledged, listened to and respected. This author was apologizing for his role and those like him in causing pain to his black sisters. He learned better, realizes how he acted and had his say. I think this article was a good springboard to talk about OUR issues with each other...but it dissolved into the usual...
Da Sleeper
Well-Known Member
I can agree with that. Black women probably are the least acknowledged. A lot of these caucasian baby boomers grew up with black women in their homes as domestics. So not acknowledging their contribution became their norm. Please keep in mind though, black men are acknowledged out of fear not respect. Society has been conditioned to fear me. So yeah people look over black women. People look to kill black men. This will never change as long as we are fragmented as a people.
LS Syndicate
#TheeILove
Now when will we see an opened letter from the Black woman penned to the Black man?
I'll wait...
In_The_662
Deeeeep In The Delta.....
My frat told me this last year and I think I'm getting to that point that if she has kids, they better be graduating high school this year or in college. I made it this far without kids so I am not trying to burden myself by being a babysitter because you don't know how to mess with guys without a condom
I am not where I want to be yet so I wouldn't mind coming up with a woman on her way up as well (20s to early 30s) but I am not down for instant made families.
In_The_662
Deeeeep In The Delta.....
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
LS Syndicate
#TheeILove
I pick neither. Neither of these articles have the same intention as the article from Blavity. These are just love letters....some of them had some ulterior motives behind them, but we won't get into that now. It's funny that you had to go back more than five years ago to find them, but we won't get into that, either.
What I will say for now is that while these letters are nice, articulate and appreciative, neither article suggests the role that Black women play- and the responsibility they have- in the state of Black men. White supremacy has systematically removed the Black man from society in masses to be raised by mothers and grandmothers, yet you won't find one article where Black women hold themselves accountable for "failing" the Black man.
CT, this is not a challenge that I'm asking you to accept, btw. I am just pointing out the fact that these sites like Blavity, The Root, Very Smart Brothas, For Harriet and Cassius and so forth are wolves in sheep's clotihing. They do more harm than help in terms of the reconciliation that needs to take place between Black men and Black women. "Black men..yall wrong. Black women...keep doing what yall doing". That's pretty much the narrative. They will bash a Black man for marrying out of his race, but when Eve, Janet or Serena does it- the excuse is they were tired of dealing with good-for-nothing brothas.
In_The_662
Deeeeep In The Delta.....
Nor the impact. I'm sure Blavity probably draws more traffic than those other sites combined.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Damned if you do...damned if you don't...and as far as the 5 years...how long did black women have to WAIT for THIS open apology letter to them?
Y'all don't want to see what's out there, you have your own narrative. Like I've said plenty of times, black women will tell you how WE think and FEEL...and y'all will discount it because you don't want to hear it/accept it/doesn't fit your narrative.
Again, opportunity for really good discourse between the BM/BF------------------>>>>FAULT FINDING CENTRAL....
Y'all don't want to see what's out there, you have your own narrative. Like I've said plenty of times, black women will tell you how WE think and FEEL...and y'all will discount it because you don't want to hear it/accept it/doesn't fit your narrative.
Again, opportunity for really good discourse between the BM/BF------------------>>>>FAULT FINDING CENTRAL....
LS Syndicate
#TheeILove
Not too long. There's some white dude in Black face typing up articles like that once a week to convince Black women that the problems that besiege you all lie on Black men. There's a hit piece attacking the character of Black men every week. "Straight Black Men are the White People of Black People"....."You Love Kllmonger at the Expense of Black Women"....every week there's a op-ed designed to make you believe the Black man is your oppressor.
In addition, there can be no productive discourse if you're telling me YOU think and FEEL yet can't be honest about your own shortcomings. It takes two people to create a conflict between two people. Both are to blame, and both have to own up to that.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
There HAS BEEN no productive discourse BECAUSE folks don't want to hear how black women think and feel. EVERYBODY has shortcomings...and none of them are addressed. Hell, we can address them all at the same time. And as I've said over and over and over and over: we need to have the convos..yet, we get to walking down that road and someone inserts some irk point bullshit that takes the convo in a different direction. Until we are willing to peel ALL the layers back, we be on this merry go round...to nowhere.
Articulate exactly what you want to see to help BM/BW move forward...
Articulate exactly what you want to see to help BM/BW move forward...
LS Syndicate
#TheeILove
I mentioned it in my last post- honesty, accountability and transparency on both sides. All the talk seems to be about how we failed and how we need to do better.
BM and BF have to take self inventory before we begin that process. And if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s more of male vs female moreso than BM vs BF. This is not something that is exclusive to Black people. But again, there is an agenda that’s in play: effeminate or dehumanize the Black Man.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
the effeminate part...you fault BW women in what ways? Up further, you mentioned about the govt role in removing black men from the family. BW then had a lot of single parent households...but a woman can only raise a child in the ways she is good at. It may NOT be as hard as a man...but understandably so...that isn't her experience. And yes, they may have raised them softer because we get scared...Willie Lynch may have been a fake but the tenets and their horrific outcomes resonate in our soul...and we don't want our son to be the one. So yes, let me hear it.
LS Syndicate
#TheeILove
When I was talking about the "effemination" of the Black man, I was referring to the agenda/ narrative that is being pushed by these media outlets. I wasn't directing that at BW on a personal level. That's what makes these little write-ups dangerous. The consumer, oftentimes BW, are just used as pawns that buy into that narrative. I have much respect for black women who've been left to raise Black boys on their own for whatever circumstances that may have lead to that.
In raising them softly, however, Black women may have played a role in why some of these guys are sorry, lazy, entitled and sitting on their momma's couch at 25 playing X-Box and watching "First Take" when he should be in school or working. Again.....I realize that momma did the best that she could in a situation she may not have necessarily asked for. But by and large, this weak azz dude is gonna get chosen by one (or five) future baby mommas, and the cycle continues. And you can't defend raising a young boy gently on one hand, and then condemn other Black men who grew up in the same situations on the other hand.