Abuse


Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
Originally posted by Fortitude
Thanks for clarifying. I notice there are people religious people who advocate staying in negative situations/relationships (& try to work it out) because the only "justifiable" reason for divorce is adultry. Can you imagine a woman getting her teeth knocked out everyday by her man, continuing to stay w/him & praying to God for help? We'd call her CRAZY. [/QUOTE


Personally, I think God puts the answer right in our faces sometimes. But you know us humans....we can't see the forrest for the trees.


I think the answer is to get the hell out of there to safety. In fact, the BIBLE goes on to say that "where the PEACE of GOD does NOT abide, shake the DUST from your feet..." He doesn't even want the dirt on your feet from a place that does not contain HIS peace. Since I know God told the husband to love the wife....that did not entail beating her.

Get out and move on!
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Watch it K. Someone's gonna' find a scripture to contradict what you just supported up yonda' ^^^^^^^^^. :rolleyes:

At any rate, God blessed us <b>all</b> w/ that one special gift called intelligence. Taking an arse whoopin from anyone other than your momma/daddy is asinine and also very unintelligent.

I'm done.
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Originally posted by Panthro
Watch it K. Someone's gonna' find a scripture to contradict what you just supported up yonda' ^^^^^^^^^. :rolleyes:

At any rate, God blessed us <b>all</b> w/ that one special gift called intelligence. Taking an arse whoopin from anyone other than your momma/daddy is asinine and also very unintelligent.

I'm done.
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I know, but it won't change what I advocate...GET TO SAFETY.

let me give ya 2 fifty cent word fors "intelligence"... ... COMMON SENSE!
 



Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
Personally, I think God puts the answer right in our faces sometimes. But you know us humans....we can't see the forrest for the trees. I think the answer is to get the hell out of there to safety. Get out and move on!
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I agree. If I was in an abusive situation, I'd throw on some sneakers & be out like Flo Jo. Some things just aren't rocket science. :tup:
 
If I were ever involved with a woman who tolerated abuse, then I am with the wrong woman. If I were ever abusive to a woman, I would expect not only her friends and family to come after me, but also for my friends and family to take serious action, which would probably include disassociation.
 
Everyone has brought up some legitimate points from all sides of this debate...


...but all in all, we have to be REAL with ourselves and admit that it's EASY to say what we will or will not do WHEN WE ARE NOT IN THAT SITUATION!!!!

I'm pretty sure that most of the PEOPLE who have suffered physical abuse at the hands of their spouse also said that they would do this and that....until it actually happened to them.

Its' easy for us to say "Leave that person"...but if you aren't in their shoes and experiencing the SAME kind of treatement, can you honestly and accurately say that you'd follow your OWN advice?

Think about it....;)
 
IMHO,

This IS a black & white question (not gray). It is very important to enter a relationship with someone that has understanding and can communicate. At no point in time should anyone accept emotional, verbal or physical abuse. If you are being emotionally abused, the correct decision would be to move on. If not, apparently you have low self esteem and need counseling. If you are a physical abuser, you are not well adjusted and there is no rationale feasible for this type of behavior.

My advice:

Get the L out of that situation and dont look back. Whomever this thread is applicable to can use some interventions. If you are having second thoughts about this situation, you have low self esteem and need help. Yes you can do better!
 
Originally posted by JROCK
IMHO,

This IS a black & white question (not gray). It is very important to enter a relationship with someone that has understanding and can communicate. At no point in time should anyone accept emotional, verbal or physical abuse. If you are being emotionally abused, the correct decision would be to move on. If not, apparently you have low self esteem and need counseling. If you are a physical abuser, you are not well adjusted and there is no rationale feasible for this type of behavior.

My advice:

Get the L out of that situation and dont look back. Whomever this thread is applicable to can use some interventions. If you are having second thoughts about this situation, you have low self esteem and need help. Yes you can do better!
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AMEN WALLS!!!!!!!! :tup:
 
Originally posted by Ntelekt
Everyone has brought up some legitimate points from all sides of this debate...


...but all in all, we have to be REAL with ourselves and admit that it's EASY to say what we will or will not do WHEN WE ARE NOT IN THAT SITUATION!!!!

I'm pretty sure that most of the PEOPLE who have suffered physical abuse at the hands of their spouse also said that they would do this and that....until it actually happened to them.

Its' easy for us to say "Leave that person"...but if you aren't in their shoes and experiencing the SAME kind of treatement, can you honestly and accurately say that you'd follow your OWN advice?

Think about it....;)
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I totally agree with you. Can you believe that:D :D
 
Yeah yeah yeah Ntelekt and 89com, say what you want but I ain't staying with NO man who puts his hands on me. I don't give a rat's arse who he is or isn't. The longer one stays in an abusive relationship, be it emotional, physical, or verbal, the other person starts to think that it is normal.

I've read too many stories of women who were killed by their husbands or boyfriends because after enduring months and years of abuse, they got fed up and tried to leave the man and the man ended up killing them.
 
Originally posted by kellis
Yeah yeah yeah Ntelekt and 89com, say what you want but I ain't staying with NO man who puts his hands on me. I don't give a rat's arse who he is or isn't. The longer one stays in an abusive relationship, be it emotional, physical, or verbal, the other person starts to think that it is normal.

I've read too many stories of women who were killed by their husbands or boyfriends because after enduring months and years of abuse, they got fed up and tried to leave the man and the man ended up killing them.
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I have read about some women who endured abuse for years. It wasn't until they walked out that they realized HOW EASY it was to live without a fist/skillet/shoe upside her head!


It is a self-esteem issue when you accept and allow a fool to POUND on you.


Anna Mae Bullock aka Tina Turner, send help! :(
 
Or to flip the script kellis, so to speak. The woman could/would eventually kill the man for beating her ass so long. I think that messes with a person's mind after so long.

Most abusive relationships as such end in death. :smh:
 
Point of clarification

Abuse can be physical and mental. And the right MF dishing out the mental abuse can "kill" you and it HURTS worse than any slap could.

I watched "What's Love Got to Do With It" @ 2:00 a.m. this morning. Very sad.

My stance, from a been-there-done-that viewpoint, is EXACTLY as Kellis's. I wouldn't have to worry about reconciling with my abusive husband, because they don't allow spouses to live together in the Louisiana State Peniteniary at Angola. I'm an officer of the Court and the bastid would be tried, convicted and jailed!
 
A lady I met ask me to beat her when she got out of line after dating for a few months. My response was that, I dont have the energy or inclination. I proceeded to tell her in light of these new revelations, I'm no longer interested in her. Do you know this sick person had the audacity to cry and plead. I asked her to leave and have not seen her since that day.
 
Good for you JROCK. WTH is wrong with some people?
Christz_pillepalle.gif
 
Originally posted by kellis
Yeah yeah yeah Ntelekt and 89com, say what you want but I ain't staying with NO man who puts his hands on me. I don't give a rat's arse who he is or isn't. The longer one stays in an abusive relationship, be it emotional, physical, or verbal, the other person starts to think that it is normal.

I've read too many stories of women who were killed by their husbands or boyfriends because after enduring months and years of abuse, they got fed up and tried to leave the man and the man ended up killing them.
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I was not raised around abuse, and I am not in an abusive relationship; however I would like to think that I know what I would do if I were involved in one, but I honestly can't say for sure what I would do which is why I agreed with Nk.
People stay in relationships for other reasons even if abuse is not in the picture, only the people in the relationship know how they are feeling when they are ones going through it.
As terrible as abuse is, no one can make decisions for them, and with God's help miracles can happen.
 



Well, I have a low tolerance for pain so I know I won't be waiting around on a miracle from God while a grown ass man is putting his hands on me.
 
Originally posted by kellis
Well, I have a low tolerance for pain so I know I won't be waiting around on a miracle from God while a grown ass man is putting his hands on me.
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This is a smart lady!
 
Originally posted by 89comSUgrad
I totally agree with you. Can you believe that:D :D
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Of course I can! :lol:

Once again, we have to continue to be REAL! It may not be "easy" for an abused spouse to leave their mate...especially when they are tied strongly to that person EMOTIONALLY!!!

The love felt for a husband will make you deal with a whoooole lotta stuff...sometimes even an azz whooping!



But what about those females who "lay hands" on their husbands FIRST! What do you all say then???
She's beatin' the hell outta him, but since he's the man...he should just take it, right?

Or what....he should just "be man about it" and walk away, huh?
Is she at fault?
Should she be shot or killed?
What sayeth ye about this COMMONALITY in today's time?

It's not reported as much as the other because men are probably too "proud" to let it go public that their wives whooped on 'em. :D

Hmmm...but what if he DOES retaliate by "defending himself"???

She hits him 10 times....he responds by hitting her once....she goes down....he goes to jail....he's labeled an abuser. :smh:

Anyone care to share their opinions on such things? :)
 
Originally posted by Ntelekt



But what about those females who "lay hands" on their husbands FIRST! What do you all say then???
She's beatin' the hell outta him, but since he's the man...he should just take it, right?
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Neither partner in a relationship should hit the other. As for staying with the man because she loves him...Fine! I just love myself more than I could ever love an abusive @$$hole! Sorry!
 
Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
Neither partner in a relationship should hit the other. As for staying with the man because she loves him...Fine! I just love myself more than I could ever love an abusive @$$hole! Sorry!
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Point taken...

But this isnt' a question about SHOULD and SHOULDN'T because we ALL know that it SHOULDN'T take place...

...the issue is once it HAS happened...then what?

Wrong is wrong...not once have I tried to dispute that...but the resolution/answer is not as cut and dry as some of y'all are trying to make it, that's all. :)

~end~

Like I said earlier...it's easy for us to pass judgement while not in the situation.
If some folks were in an abusive relationship and left IMMEDIATELY...good for them.

If some people stayed in an abusive relationship for a while, but "opened their eyes" and broke camp...GREAT!

If some folks are being abused /have been abused in a relationship...bear with them, because they just may need time to figure out what they WILL DO...not should do...not want to do....WILL DO!
 
Agreeing w/kellis. I say, if whomever she is likes it, I love it. Let her husband/boyfriend/SO/companion/whatever commence to tappin' dat ass everyday.

More power to em.
 
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