Abuse

[kbSU89]

Re: *lightening this thread up some*

Originally posted by Panthro
Would my putting down 42seconds of HARD loving be considered abusive?

I be tryna' knock da' bottom out for 10-15 strokes and then...... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I would not call that abusive, torture yes, but not abusive

 

[MsJag4Jag]

Re: MSJ4J

Originally posted by Ntelekt
Believe me, I totally understand where you were coming from.

Physically abusing your wife goes against the DIRECT COMMAND of husbands loving their wives....


...just like verbally abusing your husband goes against the DIRECT COMMAND of wives honoring (respecting) their husbands...

I was with you the entire time!

We are HERE! I have no qualms with what ya had said.

 

[Fortitude]

No Lil Smokie, that's frustrating!!!!!

 

[docmump]

Docmump's, two cents.

Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
I understand, but you missed the point.

the "LOVE HER AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH" ....was a DIRECT command from the Bible to HUSBANDS.... The husbands are told to LOVE your wives as Christ loved the church...and the wives were told to HONOR their husbands.... So you have to ask the question "HOW" did Christ love the church? ....Answer: HE DIED FOR IT..... Simple.

Jag4Jag,
It is a little more than Simple. We must look at the scripture and think about How did Christ love the Church. Christ loving the church is not all about he died for it. It is about the relationship Christ have with the Church. Now lets apply all of this to our topic.

Christ love for the Church should be equal to Husbands love for the wife. It is about the relationship. If we read a little further pass Ephesian 5:25, for those who wondered where that was in the bible., We see the scripture telling the husband. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: This is telling us first the man ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Second, the scripture states to us 'who has ever loved his own body and done harm to it.' We, the man, needs to nourish and cherish the wife.

Nita, I disagree with your statement. I dont believe husbands nor wife deserves to get smacked around if they are talking smack.

What I do see in this thread is a number of people stating that they would leave instead of working it out. The bible helps us out of several situations. I believe if we turn to the Lord and away from man it will be alright.

 

[Warndalyn]

Re: Docmump's, two cents.

Originally posted by docmump
Jag4Jag,
It is a little more than Simple. We must look at the scripture and think about How did Christ love the Church. Christ loving the church is not all about he died for it. It is about the relationship Christ have with the Church. Now lets apply all of this to our topic.

Christ love for the Church should be equal to Husbands love for the wife. It is about the relationship. If we read a little further pass Ephesian 5:25, for those who wondered where that was in the bible., We see the scripture telling the husband. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: This is telling us first the man ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Second, the scripture states to us 'who has ever loved his own body and done harm to it.' We, the man, needs to nourish and cherish the wife.

Nita, I disagree with your statement. I dont believe husbands nor wife deserves to get smacked around if they are talking smack.

What I do see in this thread is a number of people stating that they would leave instead of working it out. The bible helps us out of several situations. I believe if we turn to the Lord and away from man it will be alright.

So, are you saying or believe GOD wants us to stay in abusive relationships and work it out?

Just asking.

 

[AAMU Big Dawg]

I've witnessed what most of you are calling abuse. I've seen it given both ways.

I guess what I don't understand is the difference between abuse and a physical fight between the parties. When does it cross the line?

On several occasions I've seen a woman attack a man (I don't know the intimate relationships) after a night on the town or leaving someone's party. Is this abuse or a fight? Is it a fight the first time, and abuse after that?

What happens when the roles are reversed? The man strikes first, is he an abuser or a bully? I've often wanted to slap the hell out of a male co-worker, am I wrong to feel the same about a female if she pisses me off just as much?

 

[MsJag4Jag]

Docmump:

We disagree. It is simple. "love your wives as you love yourself"....You don't bust yourself in the eye, huh?


I would stay if there was something to work out. However, your busting me in the eye is akin to cutting your own throat. Don't need and aint gon' stay in it for nobody ..... not even church folk (and I am one of them....)


I just don't believe God wants me to be hurtin'.....and I aint...for nobody!

 

[MsJag4Jag]

Originally posted by AAMU Big Dawg
I've witnessed what most of you are calling abuse. I've seen it given both ways.

I guess what I don't understand is the difference between abuse and a physical fight between the parties. When does it cross the line?

On several occasions I've seen a woman attack a man (I don't know the intimate relationships) after a night on the town or leaving someone's party. Is this abuse or a fight? Is it a fight the first time, and abuse after that?

What happens when the roles are reversed? The man strikes first, is he an abuser or a bully? I've often wanted to slap the hell out of a male co-worker, am I wrong to feel the same about a female if she pisses me off just as much?

I don't need to understand the difference or give it a title. Placing your hands on a woman (and vice versa) is wrong...and should NEVER be tolerated.

 

[docmump]

Re: Re: Docmump's, two cents.

Originally posted by Dtown Jag
So, are you saying or believe GOD wants us to stay in abusive relationships and work it out?

Just asking.

God gives us scriptures in which a wife can leave her husband. Actually, lets say it like this. God give us scriptures that we can use in order for us to get out of a marrage. The sad part about me posting this is I forgot the scriptures that list the reasons for divorce. I know Adultry is one of them, as well as if the spouse is a non-believer and wants out of the marriage, but I forgot the rest. Maybe somebody else can remember. I will find out and post it later.

 

[AAMU Big Dawg]

Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
I don't need to understand the difference or give it a title. Placing your hands on a woman (and vice versa) is wrong...and should NEVER be tolerated.

Kema, while you're right in your assessment, the truth is, your answer is too simple. As demonstrated by our courts and even our discussions on religion, the answer is not Black or White.

If I put my hands on a woman in anger, while wrong, have I committed abuse? What defines abuse?

Humor me for just a moment: Three senerios (help me with the spelling Vinita)

1) A slap because she always messes up dinner.

2) A slap because she talks back.

3) A slap because she finally stuck me in the eye with the finger that's always in his face.

Out of those examples, which if any do not qualify as abuse?

 

[docmump]

Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
Docmump:

We disagree. It is simple. "love your wives as you love yourself"....You don't bust yourself in the eye, huh?


I would stay if there was something to work out. However, your busting me in the eye is akin to cutting your own throat. Don't need and aint gon' stay in it for nobody ..... not even church folk (and I am one of them....)


I just don't believe God wants me to be hurtin'.....and I aint...for nobody!

I believe you would get counciling, find out what the scriptures say about this, and make your determination based on what the Word says.

I dont agree with abuse either but I believe we as Christians should not be so quick to get out of a relationship. Let God direct our paths.

 

[Fortitude]

Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
Docmump:
We disagree. It is simple. "love your wives as you love yourself"....You don't bust yourself in the eye, huh?

I would stay if there was something to work out. However, your busting me in the eye is akin to cutting your own throat. Don't need and aint gon' stay in it for nobody ..... not even church folk (and I am one of them....)

I just don't believe God wants me to be hurtin'.....and I aint...for nobody!

Good points Kema. I don't believe one should stay in a relationship that's PHYSICALLY or MENTALLY abusive. Both are negative means of trying to control people. If one must leave/divorce, ask God for forgiveness & move forward with life.

 

[MsJag4Jag]

Originally posted by AAMU Big Dawg
Kema, while you're right in your assessment, the truth is, your answer is too simple. As demonstrated by our courts and even our discussions on religion, the answer is not Black or White.

If I put my hands on a woman in anger, while wrong, have I committed abuse? What defines abuse?

Humor me for just a moment: Three senerios (help me with the spelling Vinita)

1) A slap because she always messes up dinner.

2) A slap because she talks back.

3) A slap because she finally stuck me in the eye with the finger that's always in his face.

Out of those examples, which if any do not qualify as abuse?

The bottom line: If you deem you need to hit/slap/punch/kick a woman for any reason and you can do it with ease, it is time for you to leave. You can not possibly love a person and harm them like that. I should say this is "my" bottom line.....Others may need to stick around for a few slaps to figure out he/she is not showing them love. I don't have that kind of time.


Now granted....if two folks wanted to work it out...counseling is available, ....how many times does a person need to get slammed into a car/stabbed/cut/punched before they say..."to heck with this....I'm out..."

 

[docmump]

Originally posted by Fortitude
If one must leave/divorce, ask God for forgiveness & move forward with life.

Leave and ask God for forgiveness. Why not Shoot him and ask God for forgiveness.:wow::wow::wow::wow::wow:

 

[Fortitude]

Why not stay & let him beat my arse to death? :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow:
Better yet, why don't I stay w/him until they have to put me in the Mental Hospital. Don't be fooled, this type of stuff happens all the time.

 

[MsJag4Jag]

WOW

 

[docmump]

Originally posted by Fortitude
Why not stay & let him beat my arse to death? :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow:
Better yet, why don't I stay w/him until they have to put me in the Mental Hospital. Don't be fooled, this type of stuff happens all the time.

Fortitude,
Dont get me wrong, I dont believe in this at all. Abuse has no excuses or place in marriage, but communication does. Please see Kema's post:

Kema said
The bottom line: If you deem you need to hit/slap/punch/kick a woman for any reason and you can do it with ease, it is time for you to leave. You can not possibly love a person and harm them like that.....

It is time for the man to take a walk around the block, cool off, and communicate when you return. Communication is the key to a healty marriage not physical abuse.

 

[docmump]

Originally posted by Ms. Jag4Jag
WOW

What are you wowing about.... :|:look: :snicker:

 

[CriTAUcal]

interesting thread...

 

[kbSU89]

Printing out Replies

Thanks guys for your serious replies, don't know how much of help it will be, but I will print the replies out and let someone read it.

I wish I could tell you the whole story so you can somewhat get an idea of what this person is going through, so I may ask her to post it if she feels like it.

Thanks again

 

[Vinita]

Re: Docmump's, two cents.

Originally posted by docmump
Nita, I disagree with your statement. I dont believe husbands nor wife deserves to get smacked around if they are talking smack.

That's cool, doc.

I agree with it wholeheartedly, though.

And when a man is continually beating on a woman, it's time for him to take a walk around the block, aight ...

And up the road, and turn a coupla more corners, to the nearest leasing office, so he can get himself a new place to stay ...

 

[Vinita]

Originally posted by docmump
Leave and ask God for forgiveness. Why not Shoot him and ask God for forgiveness.:wow::wow::wow::wow::wow:

For some women, they don't need to be told this twice. I'd rather take my beat up head to a shelter and ask for forgiveness while we're both ALIVE than sit in a jail cell asking for forgiveness once I've cracked and busted several caps in his ass.

Clara Harris ... uh, well, never mind ...

 

[MsJag4Jag]

Originally posted by Vinita
For some women, they don't need to be told this twice. I'd rather take my beat up head to a shelter and ask for forgiveness while we're both ALIVE than sit in a jail cell asking for forgiveness once I've cracked and busted several caps in his ass.

Clara Harris ... uh, well, never mind ...

See what I'm saying....

 

[Fortitude]

Originally posted by docmump
Fortitude, Dont get me wrong, I dont believe in this at all. Abuse has no excuses or place in marriage, but communication does.

Thanks for clarifying. I notice there are some religious people who advocate staying in negative situations/relationships (& try to work it out) because the only "justifiable" reason for divorce is adultry. Can you imagine a woman getting her teeth knocked out everyday by her man, continuing to stay w/him & praying to God for help? We'd call her CRAZY.

 

[MsJag4Jag]

Originally posted by Fortitude
Thanks for clarifying. I notice there are people religious people who advocate staying in negative situations/relationships (& try to work it out) because the only "justifiable" reason for divorce is adultry. Can you imagine a woman getting her teeth knocked out everyday by her man, continuing to stay w/him & praying to God for help? We'd call her CRAZY. [/QUOTE


Personally, I think God puts the answer right in our faces sometimes. But you know us humans....we can't see the forrest for the trees.


I think the answer is to get the hell out of there to safety. In fact, the BIBLE goes on to say that "where the PEACE of GOD does NOT abide, shake the DUST from your feet..." He doesn't even want the dirt on your feet from a place that does not contain HIS peace. Since I know God told the husband to love the wife....that did not entail beating her.

Get out and move on!