A blessing for single American men

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

ain't gonna happen crit. They cant get that mirror past their ass to see the BS they are spouting from their mouths...

Then that's sad. 'Cause I can acknowledge that some black women (I refuse to say all, because there are some black women who know HOW to take care of their men) can be hard to deal with, have attitudes, too headstrong and controlling. There's some work that needs to be on our part to soften some.

But I'm really interested in knowing what the brothas think their issues are that makes it hard for us live in harmony.

Or are they totally blameless?

 

[SUJagFan]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

CT, serious question: Do you ever accept responsibility for anything?

Or is your purpose in life to deflect all responsibility and look for someone else to blame for women's failures - namely men.

Your celebration of women taking half of a man's money is disgusting. Yet, you are so perturbed that we wouldn't want to be with a woman who thinks like you.

Is self-reflection even a part of your repertoire?

 

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Dang. Y'all angry women are up and at it early this morning.

Probably been tossing and turning all night. Mad.

:lol:

Baby, I'm far from angry. I have such a peace and joy in my life that ANY man who is privileged to share time with me would have an enriched life.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

CT, serious question: Do you ever accept responsibility for anything?

Or is your purpose in life to deflect all responsibility and look for someone else to blame for women's failures - namely men.

Your celebration of women taking half of a man's money is disgusting. Yet, you are so perturbed that we wouldn't want to be with a woman who thinks like you.

Is self-reflection even a part of your repertoire?

I take responsibility for all my actions. I too find it appalling that men believe they can reap the benefits of a relationship but when its over, just leave with a few token dollar a man wants to give her and be done like she contributed nothing.

See, men don't think about what women want/like/etc cause they've been programmed to believe what they want is the bottom line and that's that. Once upon a time that was true, but not now. I don't think I'm the one with the blinders. I'm just the one willing and able to speak out where you can get it.

Those women you describe DON'T think like me. Otherwise, they'd plan their work then work their plan.

And Its okay if you don't want a woman like me, I've never had a man drought problem so there are plenty more who do. :tup: I see no reason to change. :teleport:

 

[SUJagFan]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

I take responsibility for all my actions. I too find it appalling that men believe they can reap the benefits of a relationship but when its over, just leave with a few token dollar a man wants to give her and be done like she contributed nothing.

See, men don't think about what women want/like/etc cause they've been programmed to believe what they want is the bottom line and that's that. Once upon a time that was true, but not now. I don't think I'm the one with the blinders. I'm just the one willing and able to speak out where you can get it.

Those women you describe DON'T think like me. Otherwise, they'd plan their work then work their plan.

And Its okay if you don't want a woman like me, I've never had a man drought problem so there are plenty more who do. :tup: I see no reason to change. :teleport:

And what's that? To find a man willing to put up with being mistreated and disrespected until you decide to rip him financially for as much as you can?

See, that very attitude is adversarial and it's no wonder that men don't let their guards down around AA women. Is it any surprise that AA relationships don't work in that environment?

And I'm not surprised you see no reason to change.

 

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

And what's that? To find a man willing to put up with being mistreated and disrespected until you decide to rip him financially for as much as you can?

See, that very attitude is adversarial and it's no wonder that men don't let their guards down around AA women. Is it any surprise that AA relationships don't work in that environment?

And I'm not surprised you see no reason to change.

Sadly, that mistreatment and disrespect door swings both ways, but ya'll fail to see that.

 

[PVSAX99]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

So what I gather from this thread is that somehow the AA men are being discouraged from looking at the broader spectrum of options that are available...and that it is somehow AA men's fault that we are going abroad to find happiness and live life a little more stress free? We are encouraged to find love and happiness wherever it falls. Yet if it's found where the AA women don't want it to be found, then that's a problem.

From what I've seen, an AA woman values her independence above the relationship she is in. She will be quick to remind her man, "I don't need you to do this and that...I am independent". While that is all fine and good, the fact that AA women throw those words in her man's face for no reason is kinda crazy. If you don't need a man and love your independence so much, then why are you even in a relationship? Though other women are probably just as proud and independent as our sistas are, you don't hear them brag about it nearly as much. Nor do they continually throw that independence jargon in their man's faces every chance they get.

Another point...a simple act of gratitude or a "Thank You" goes a LONG way for men. These days, AA women act as if showing any kind of appreciation is a cardinal sin. As many doors as I hold open for women when I go do my daily routines, other women will politely smile and say "thank you". But the AA woman? Lawd! She will give this look like, "thanks for holding the door open for me...but I didn't need you to do it"...and that's just a LOOK. No smile...no thank you...no nothing. Just leads me to believe that AA women are incapable of showing any kind of gratitude. And they say chivalry is dead. It ain't dead. It's just that AA women fail to see it and appreciate it.

IMO, it's the "attitudes" that set women a part. No matter how good looking a woman may be. If her attitude is unattractive, she will be unattractive, and she will be treated like her attitude reflects.

Now I love my black women. But the attitudes A LOT of them have are THE WORST I have EVER seen!

 

[Blacknbengal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Now I love my black women. But the attitudes A LOT of them have are THE WORST I have EVER seen!

:uhoh:

I think I hear the thunda rollin............

:scared:

 

[luvdaboom]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

smh at these paragraphs. i expect this from the women, not these dudes though

 

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

So what I gather from this thread is that somehow the AA men are being discouraged from looking at the broader spectrum of options that are available...and that it is somehow AA men's fault that we are going abroad to find happiness and live life a little more stress free?

You've gathered wrong. :lol: Go back and read, dude. What few women have responded in this thread have not said anything about discouraging black men from dating/marrying outside of our race. All black women aren't combative with bad attitudes is the argument. Date whomever you wish! :tup:

 

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

So can a black man tell me what they see is their flaws in black relationships? Anyone?

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

And what's that? To find a man willing to put up with being mistreated and disrespected until you decide to rip him financially for as much as you can?

See, that very attitude is adversarial and it's no wonder that men don't let their guards down around AA women. Is it any surprise that AA relationships don't work in that environment?

And I'm not surprised you see no reason to change.

Keep looking for the negatives and you will "make" them appear. I'm very positive and working a great plan has stood me well. Like I said, those women Aren't like me. A lot of women ARE positive and bring lots to the table. mistreated and disrespected? Naw, not my calling card. I give what I want to get. Like I said, this thread IMO is disrespectful to RB's wife, he doesn't get it and I see plenty of that.

And do I believe I'm worth a lot? Sure do. My next husband will think so also. :tup: Uhm, SU I don't believe i'm the one jaded here...

And PV, no one wants to limit your choices. You're grown, only you can limit that. But like Crit interated and I'll reinterate, don't down ALL black women cause your choices haven't had the greatest outcome. There is always good with the bad, but sounds like many men aren't willing to put in the time, energy and effort to get to the good ones...hence the easier ones...cop out. But y'all do you.

 

[jsupop33]

Damn, Tone and I were saying the same thing.

 

[SUJagFan]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Keep looking for the negatives and you will "make" them appear. I'm very positive and working a great plan has stood me well. Like I said, those women Aren't like me. A lot of women ARE positive and bring lots to the table. mistreated and disrespected? Naw, not my calling card. I give what I want to get. Like I said, this thread IMO is disrespectful to RB's wife, he doesn't get it and I see plenty of that.

And do I believe I'm worth a lot? Sure do. My next husband will think so also. :tup: Uhm, SU I don't believe i'm the one jaded here...

And PV, no one wants to limit your choices. You're grown, only you can limit that. But like Crit interated and I'll reinterate, don't down ALL black women cause your choices haven't had the greatest outcome. There is always good with the bad, but sounds like many men aren't willing to put in the time, energy and effort to get to the good ones...hence the easier ones...cop out. But y'all do you.

I've long admitted that I am jaded. :lol:

I just see you as a Carrie Nation with your hatchet hacking away for women's causes and not acknowledging that there are some real problems that men face. When there is an issue that you can't deny, you'll just brush it aside and say it doesn't apply to you personally.

I don't have a problem with you going to bat for women, I'm just wondering if you can admit that some of our concerns are real without ignoring, shifting or deflecting the issue. That's all.

 

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

I'm just wondering if you can admit that some of our concerns are real without ignoring, shifting or deflecting the issue. That's all.

Ya'll can't even do that yourselves... :smh:

Prime example: Nobody has answered my question yet. :smh:

 

[PVSAX99]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

You've gathered wrong. :lol: Go back and read, dude. What few women have responded in this thread have not said anything about discouraging black men from dating/marrying outside of our race. All black women aren't combative with bad attitudes is the argument. Date whomever you wish! :tup:

So what I gather from this thread is that somehow the AA men are being discouraged from looking at the broader spectrum of options that are available...and that it is somehow AA men's fault that we are going abroad to find happiness and live life a little more stress free? We are encouraged to find love and happiness wherever it falls. Yet if it's found where the AA women don't want it to be found, then that's a problem...

If there wasn't a problem, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Nobody said that ALL black women are argumentative and combative with bad attitudes. But the truth is that A LOT (A WHOLE LOT) are. The men are saying it (been saying it)...but it sounds like the ladies are hearing something different. And the idea of trying to put the blame on men for women having such attitudes is just... :shame:

Like I said, AA men are encouraged to find love wherever it falls...as long is it falls wherever AA women allow it to fall.

As for men bringing their sets of problems to the table, that can't be denied. Everybody brings their crap to the table.

 

[SUJagFan]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Ya'll can't even do that yourselves... :smh:

Prime example: Nobody has answered my question yet. :smh:

Crit, just as we've pointed out women's failures you all have pointed out ours. The failure to lead and so forth. I've made the point in other threads that we're responsible also and women should hold us accountable. There was no need to answer your question.

Personally, I have no problem admitting my faults. They are many.

That's why I want CT to at least acknowledge that men have valid concerns and women have some problems. I don't believe that we can have an honest conversation that leads to solutions until then. Otherwise, it's just finger-pointing and going to bat for your gender without any real concern for AA relationships at all.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

I've long admitted that I am jaded. :lol:

I just see you as a Carrie Nation with your hatchet hacking away for women's causes and not acknowledging that there are some real problems that men face. When there is an issue that you can't deny, you'll just brush it aside and say it doesn't apply to you personally.

I don't have a problem with you going to bat for women, I'm just wondering if you can admit that some of our concerns are real without ignoring, shifting or deflecting the issue. That's all.

SU honestly, I'm a solutions person. I've long known that finger pointing and topics of this type don't bring men and women closer, it divides them. But they get posted on the regular, so they get responded to on the regular. Do both sides have issues? Yes they do. Do I see people continually lumping folks together to the point, they wouldn't know a great potential spouse if it stepped on their toes? Sure do.

I know your concerns are real, but like everything in life, there are at least 2 sides and for women, the other side has been overlooked for centuries. Carrie Nation? Good role model. :lol: Sometimes, I think its one of those, whatever situation/problem/negativaty you got about AA women, I can match or one up you about AA men... Will I sit by idly and allow men to tear into women and not put their same level shortcomings out there? No. Like they say, If you say nothing, you remain part of the problem. I'm just trying to help put the sane females side out there because many men don't look past the surface of the reasoning behind the action.

I truly hope someone comes into your life to get your "jadedness" off. :teleport: Love is cool...

 

[PVSAX99]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

:uhoh:

I think I hear the thunda rollin............

:scared:

Am I lying? If I am...will somebody PLEASE call me out for it. I would love to stand corrected on this issue. Somebody? Anybody?

 

[Blacknbengal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

IMO, it's the "attitudes" that set women a part. No matter how good looking a woman may be. If her attitude is unattractive, she will be unattractive, and she will be treated like her attitude reflects.

Now I love my black women. But the attitudes A LOT of them have are THE WORST I have EVER seen!

Well, let me say this and I'm out. Now, what I've learned is this... alot of the women that I dealt with had an attitude that I owed them something. I never got a good understanding of that attitude.

 

[SUJagFan]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

SU honestly, I'm a solutions person. I've long known that finger pointing and topics of this type don't bring men and women closer, it divides them. But they get posted on the regular, so they get responded to on the regular. Do both sides have issues? Yes they do. Do I see people continually lumping folks together to the point, they wouldn't know a great potential spouse if it stepped on their toes? Sure do.

I know your concerns are real, but like everything in life, there are at least 2 sides and for women, the other side has been overlooked for centuries. Carrie Nation? Good role model. :lol: Sometimes, I think its one of those, whatever situation/problem/negativaty you got about AA women, I can match or one up you about AA men... Will I sit by idly and allow men to tear into women and not put their same level shortcomings out there? No. Like they say, If you say nothing, you remain part of the problem. I'm just trying to help put the sane females side out there because many men don't look past the surface of the reasoning behind the action.

I truly hope someone comes into your life to get your "jadedness" off. :teleport: Love is cool...

Fair enough.

:tup:

Also, I have more than one someone in my life and I'm still jaded. That's not the problem. :lol:

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Fair enough.

:tup:

Also, I have more than one someone in my life and I'm still jaded. That's not the problem. :lol:

Ah...**sending you positive vibes** so let your shield down...

 

[PVSAX99]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Well, let me say this and I'm out. Now, what I've learned is this... alot of the women that I dealt with had an attitude that I owed them something. I never got a good understanding of that attitude.

I think you hit the nail on the head man! I think that's exactly it.

So let me ask this... Do the ladies feel as if we as AA men owe them something that we are giving other women and not them?

 

[CriTAUcal]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

Crit, just as we've pointed out women's failures you all have pointed out ours. The failure to lead and so forth. I've made the point in other threads that we're responsible also and women should hold us accountable. There was no need to answer your question.

Personally, I have no problem admitting my faults. They are many.

And so forth? Can you elaborate more, please? And yes, there is a NEED to answer the question. There needs to be dialogue and communications--- something men don't like to do, which contributes to our issues. Ya'll mofos can give a laundry list of what the black woman is doing wrong, but when the table is turned, I get a "failure to lead and so forth?" WTH? :lol:

Is the questions hard? It's like ya'll don't wanna face the problems. Just ignore it and point out what the opposite sex is doing wrong. :smh: Just sad...

 

[ROYAL BLUE]

Re: A blessing for single American men...

ain't gonna happen crit. They cant get that mirror past their ass to see the BS they are spouting from their mouths...

royal Blue, its illogical to believe that an ANY woman would promote or knowingly allow you to promote other race women over her own. Who does that? that's like saying you'd be cool with walking in and finding out your wife has a thread on how other races are better than the black man cause of all his failing, missteps, lack of discipline and hasn't learned to be a leader, per Tony. That doesn't make sense.

I don't think you truly understand what I'm promoting. I'm not promoting another race of women. I'm promoting a Christian domesticated culture that will better serve my fellow brethren; this has nothing to do with race. This is about finding the best and most peaceful partner for the rest of your life. I am a man of peace and I enjoy a peaceful and happy home regardless of race. As I have stated before, I know men who are not very handsome and out of shape. These men are rejected by beautiful sistas in America because they are not attractive to the eye, so I have simply opened the eyes of my fellow brethren to beautiful foreign Christian women that are more than willing to love and marry unattractive men. Why can't my unattractive brethren have a peaceful and happy home with a beautiful foreign Christian woman?