A blessing for single American men


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Re: A blessing for single American men...

CriTAUcal said:
So can a black man tell me what they see is their flaws in black relationships? Anyone?
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I'll take a crack at this one.

Our flaws in black relationships are...

NO DIFFERENT that our flaws in mixed relationships. If you want us to spell out each and every problem, good luck with that. I doubt that will happen.


But regardless of the flaws (whatever they are), it seems as if folks in mixed relationships deal with them and work around them FAR better than folks in black relationships.

I'm saying that our "flaws" aren't the problem. We all know what our faults are. What's getting us caught up is how we deal with these "flaws" as they come.

I'm still not gonna spell out my flaws and faults, and I'm not gonna generalize men's faults. We get berated with that enough as it is.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

PVSAX99 said:
I'm saying that our "flaws" aren't the problem. We all know what our faults are. What's getting us caught up is how we deal with these "flaws" as they come.
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Why is it a problem for ya'll to address it and SAY it? I'm interested in knowing what YA'LL think YOUR flaws/issues are, 'cause I'm trying to honestly understand ya'll views.

And you saying that ya'll flaws aren't the problem is so laughable it's pathetic.
 
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Re: A blessing for single American men...

ROYAL BLUE said:
I don't think you truly understand what I'm promoting. I'm not promoting another race of women. I'm promoting a Christian domesticated culture that will better serve my fellow brethren; this has nothing to do with race. This is about finding the best and most peaceful partner for the rest of your life. I am a man of peace and I enjoy a peaceful and happy home regardless of race. As I have stated before, I know men who are not very handsome and out of shape. These men are rejected by beautiful sistas in America because they are not attractive to the eye, so I have simply opened the eyes of my fellow brethren to beautiful foreign Christian women that are more than willing to love and marry unattractive men. What's can't my unattractive brethren have a peaceful and happy home with a beautiful foreign Christian woman?
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Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? Have you been reading anything that these women has been posting on this thread? We must live and die in our race. There is no way out or around this. Do you want to be labeled a "race killa" or something? Now tell them fat and fugly jokas to get in the gym and work that weight off. And tell them to go and see a dermitologist or something, cause this is 2011 and there is no reason for them to be walking around looking fugly and then maybe a sister would date them and introduce them to "peace" one way or another.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

Blacknbengal said:
Well, let me say this and I'm out. Now, what I've learned is this... alot of the women that I dealt with had an attitude that I owed them something. :confused: I never got a good understanding of that attitude.
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+1. There are some great comments in here.

Ironic, just yesterday evening, I told yet another black female (48 :smh: ) that I think she needs to seek a hormone doctor. lol I told her she has too much testosterone in her system and acts very manly instead of womanly. Naturally, she got offended and commenced to cussing, so, I hung the phone up. :emlaugh: Stupid called back to try and finish cussing. I hung up again. Dummy called back. :smh: I hung up yet again. So, eventually, I think she got the point that I'd moved on past her like running over a dead skunk in the middle of the road and that we should never speak in life because there are very specific ppl that I think I should never entertain, yet alone engage in dialogue or even be in their presence. lol

Some of y'all AA women have real anger issues that are oft times totally baseless, highly illogical, and certainly not relating to any new "black" man you'd meet. :read: I never thought I'd see the day when I'd almost begin to stereotype but when I encounter 40-50 something year olds thinking and acting the part of their shoe size from one point of IH45 to the other... This looks almost like pre-K to me, from a mental standpoint. :lol: :smh:
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

CriTAUcal said:
Why is it a problem for ya'll to address it and SAY it? I'm interested in knowing what YA'LL think YOUR flaws/issues are, 'cause I'm trying to honestly understand ya'll views.

And you saying that ya'll flaws aren't the problem is so laughable it's pathetic.
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Why are you so worried about our flaws? You focusing on the wrong thing. If you want, you can consider THAT as a flaw among black relationships. We focus way too much on the flaws and negativity of our "supposed" S/O to appreciate the good that we have to offer.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

PVSAX99 said:
Why are you so worried about our flaws? You focusing on the wrong thing. If you want, you can consider THAT as a flaw among black relationships. We focus way too much on the flaws and negativity of our "supposed" S/O to appreciate the good that we have to offer.
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Nevermind, chile. I'm way over your head. :lol:
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

PVSAX99 said:
So what I gather from this thread is that somehow the AA men are being discouraged from looking at the broader spectrum of options that are available...and that it is somehow AA men's fault that we are going abroad to find happiness and live life a little more stress free? We are encouraged to find love and happiness wherever it falls. Yet if it's found where the AA women don't want it to be found, then that's a problem.

From what I've seen, an AA woman values her independence above the relationship she is in. She will be quick to remind her man, "I don't need you to do this and that...I am independent". While that is all fine and good, the fact that AA women throw those words in her man's face for no reason is kinda crazy. If you don't need a man and love your independence so much, then why are you even in a relationship? Though other women are probably just as proud and independent as our sistas are, you don't hear them brag about it nearly as much. Nor do they continually throw that independence jargon in their man's faces every chance they get.

Another point...a simple act of gratitude or a "Thank You" goes a LONG way for men. These days, AA women act as if showing any kind of appreciation is a cardinal sin. As many doors as I hold open for women when I go do my daily routines, other women will politely smile and say "thank you". But the AA woman? Lawd! She will give this look like, "thanks for holding the door open for me...but I didn't need you to do it"...and that's just a LOOK. No smile...no thank you...no nothing. Just leads me to believe that AA women are incapable of showing any kind of gratitude. And they say chivalry is dead. It ain't dead. It's just that AA women fail to see it and appreciate it.

IMO, it's the "attitudes" that set women a part. No matter how good looking a woman may be. If her attitude is unattractive, she will be unattractive, and she will be treated like her attitude reflects.

Now I love my black women. But the attitudes A LOT of them have are THE WORST I have EVER seen!
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This is what they don't understand...
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

CriTAUcal said:
We understand it. What we don't understand is ya'll.
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:lol:

And here, I thought us menfolk were EASY to understand and figure out. I hear that all the time from women. "Yall (Men) are so simple(minded)...so easy to figure out"

That admittance to the otherwise could be ground breaking...:lol:
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

ROYAL BLUE said:
This is what they don't understand...
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Every race of women and men come with attitudes/issues... Are there some stank attitudes in black women? - Sure! But I can guarantee there are some stank attitudes in every race too!
 

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Re: A blessing for single American men...

CriTAUcal said:
So can a black man tell me what they see is their flaws in black relationships? Anyone?
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Not being honest and firm. In other words, if you know that she aint ready to be a wife, by that I mean she's not domesticated; then why would you ask her hand in marriage? Why not tell this woman from the jump how important it is for you to marry a woman that enjoy cooking, keeping a clean house and catering to her man? Why not tell her that as a man you're not willing to compromise "your" basic requirements of an ideal wife? If she doesn't enjoy doing these things, then why ask her hand in marriage? Honestly, I don't want to teach a woman what she should already know, I want her to have the basic skills before I even consider her as a girlfriend, but I use to feel like I had to settle for what came my way because I didn't know about the domesticated women abroad.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

Black women who spent their younger years chasing the "bad boys" have no right to complain about the lack of suitable black males when they get older. They contributed to the problem. If black women went after the Eric Holder's of the world instead of the Lil Wayne's of the world. You would see different behavior amongst males.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

ROYAL BLUE said:
Not being honest and firm. In other words, if you know that she aint ready to be a wife, by that I mean she's not domesticated; then why would you ask her hand in marriage? Why not tell this woman from the jump how important it is for you to marry a woman that enjoy cooking, keeping a clean house and catering to her man? Why not tell her that as a man you're not willing to compromise "your" basic requirements of an ideal wife? If she doesn't enjoy doing these things, then why ask her hand in marriage? Honestly, I don't want to teach a woman what she should already know, I want her to have the basic skills before I even consider her as a girlfriend, but I use to feel like I had to settle for what came my way because I didn't know about the domesticated women abroad.
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If this is a flaw in black relationships, if it's the same flawed guy we are talking about, it would be a flaw in any other relationship he's in, right? I don't think a person's flaws change from relationship to relationship (regardless of race). So why does it seem that this flaw is better dealt with in other relationships, but seems to be a huge crippler in black relationships?
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

chocalate_topaz said:
Keep looking for the negatives and you will "make" them appear. I'm very positive and working a great plan has stood me well. Like I said, those women Aren't like me. :D A lot of women ARE positive and bring lots to the table. mistreated and disrespected? Naw, not my calling card. I give what I want to get. Like I said, this thread IMO is disrespectful to RB's wife, he doesn't get it and I see plenty of that.

And do I believe I'm worth a lot? Sure do. My next husband will think so also. :tup: Uhm, SU I don't believe i'm the one jaded here...

And PV, no one wants to limit your choices. You're grown, only you can limit that. But like Crit interated and I'll reinterate, don't down ALL black women cause your choices haven't had the greatest outcome. There is always good with the bad, but sounds like many men aren't willing to put in the time, energy and effort to get to the good ones...hence the easier ones...cop out. But y'all do you.
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Yes, I suppose that it's offensive, but if I could use my experience as an example to my fellow single brethren so they won't be totally ignorant to "ALL" of the options in the world, then I can live with that...again this thread is not about me. This thread is designed to enlighten my brethren about "other" possibilities to finding, beauty, love, peace and happiness in a woman.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

that evelyn chick from the jumpoff basketball show is puerto rican and got the stankest attitude and yet keep pulling black dudes
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

jsupop33 said:
Black women who spent their younger years chasing the "bad boys" have no right to complain about the lack of suitable black males when they get older. They contributed to the problem. If black women went after the Eric Holder's of the world instead of the Lil Wayne's of the world. You would see different behavior amongst males.
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the same could be said for dudes who chase the kim kardashian's and superheads of the world.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

Man, this whole thread has been ruined. Folks can't look at YouTube videos of beautiful women without someone screwing it up. You want to know what is wrong with relationships? Insecure, self-centered, overbearing men and women who don't always have realistic expectations and refuse to work with each other.

Normally I don't do this, but ahhhhhh keep the YouTube videos coming.
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

Anonymous said:
Every race of women and men come with attitudes/issues... Are there some stank attitudes in black women? - Sure! But I can guarantee there are some stank attitudes in every race too!
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Of course I know there are attitudes in every race of women, but the real question is "how" are women trained to handle their attitudes.

Why are some men always away from home? They hunt, work extra hours, golf, live in their workshop, manicure the lawn, stay in the basement, or listen to music with headphones. Why? They are avoiding the dreadful creature they foolishly married.

God created Eve to be the perfect companion for Adam (Gen 2:18). Marriage gives a man his own wife for pleasant company, mutual help, and sexual pleasure. But sin corrupted God's design, and selfish women became yapping, nagging irritants at home.

How did we corrupt God's creation (Eccl 7:29)? A man's greatest pleasure becomes his greatest pain! His greatest treasure his greatest loss! His best friend his worst enemy! His source of peace and comfort his endless misery (12:4)! See the comments on 19:13. When the victim realizes his grave error, his spirit is stricken, and he is forced to surrender and withdraw to find his only comfort in the quiet solitude of other pursuits.

A brawling woman is a noisily quarrelsome, wrangling, clamorous, noisy, and bawling woman. You have mostly heard her - she is usually talking, correcting, debating, scolding, suggesting, reminding, and otherwise making herself an unbearable nuisance. Attempts to correct her meet with failure, for her unruly pride cannot submit or shut up.

How widespread is the problem? Solomon warns us five other times with proverbs similar to this one (12:4; 19:13; 21:19; 25:24; 27:15-16). It is a common problem, especially in our rebellious age, when women no longer know their God-ordained place.

It is better ... do you hear the Preacher? He gives one of the wise priorities of life. It is better to live on the roof than in a large house with such a woman. It is better to be single, alone and lonely, than to cohabit with this onerous wretch in a joyless marriage. http://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/21_09.htm
 
Re: A blessing for single American men...

I think this thread wouldn't have gone this route if those beautiful latin women were beautiful black women. This wasn't supposed to turn into a AA men vs AA women topic at all! But oh well. Thank the lawd for pg 1...:lol:

Yes, some opinions of black women are damaging to their image. But, almost any black guy you find would LOVE for the negative stereotype of black women to be absolved (if I can say that). I'm sure women would love the same thing about us men. But the bottom line is that those negative stereotypes aren't going anywhere if we (even a few of us) continue to live up to them.

I think a lot (not all) of black women are argumentative, belligerent, over-demanding, uncompromising, and downright mean to black men, and at the same time don't expect too much good to come from us. I wouldn't say it if I didn't see it over and over and over again. It is always a breath of fresh air to see some women who go against this grain of negativity, and I appreciate black women like that. I know they are out there...but it seems like they are few and far in between.
 
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