Why even get married?


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My friend and I were talking about this not to long ago...I don't know to many folks who are happily married. Its sad....most folks don't want to work at the marriage or relationships. You get into marriage with so many expectations and when they arent met they are ready to bolt. :( Its sad. :smh: They don't think about that commitment they made before their family and god. You know the more I think aobut arrange marriages that they have in some other countries are more successful than ours. Its sad really sad for a single sister like myself. I only want to do the marriage thing once.
 
Originally posted by aamuprettywoman
:(
Being realistic about the world and the people in it. Why try it for the sake of trying it? Why not just stay single. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's thinking this. I mean the divorce rate is sky high and I'm sure most were at some point before they got married saying this is for life. But, obviously it's not. People just aren't serious about it anymore. So again...why test the waters? Why even do it. Watching all that goes on around me...I'm really discouraged...is there anyone else who's single, and eligible who feels the same way?

I feel'ya on why even get married.....being that I've recently divorced(Oct.17th 2001). I was married for 8 1/2 years, we were together a total of 13 years. We met in college(AAMU 1987-Marched in Band together), one of the typical serious couples on campus you knew would be together for life.....yeah right:rolleyes:

We married had two kids(girl 9, boy 3), purchased a "new" home(closed June 3rd 1997), and just living the normal life. Come 2001, January 29th(to be exact), schitt started to deterioate(it wasn't me:( ), and now I'm single~SMGDH~

But back to "Why Even Get Married", well thats exactly how'I feel right now; I'm not sayin I wont do'it again but.........I dunno? You think everything is going right then BAM!!

I guess my question should be, "What Do'da Sista's Want From The Black Man?"

On Jay-Z latest album, he gotta cut called "Song Cry"(#10); I can relate to "some" of the things he sayin.....especially the part when he says, "How was I suppose to know you'wa hurtin inside"

lemme stop........................................................... :(
 
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Originally posted by jelli
My friend and I were talking about this not to long ago...I don't know to many folks who are happily married. Its sad....most folks don't want to work at the marriage or relationships. You get into marriage with so many expectations and when they arent met they are ready to bolt. :( Its sad. :smh: They don't think about that commitment they made before their family and god. You know the more I think aobut arrange marriages that they have in some other countries are more successful than ours. Its sad really sad for a single sister like myself. I only want to do the marriage thing once.


I don't know who you guys hang out with but these are some sad stories. I'm happily married and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I also have several friends that are happy with their marriage. You get out of a marriage what you put into it. So many people marry for the wrong reasons.(see the Michael Jordan threads) Marriage is about sharing your life with someone. I wanted to share and develop a family with my best friend so that's why I'm a happily married man.
 
Way to go!

Originally posted by cat daddy



I don't know who you guys hang out with but these are some sad stories. I'm happily married and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I also have several friends that are happy with their marriage. You get out of a marriage what you put into it. So many people marry for the wrong reasons.(see the Michael Jordan threads) Marriage is about sharing your life with someone. I wanted to share and develop a family with my best friend so that's why I'm a happily married man.
 
MS Jag4Jag?

You married to"Mike" right? Well if this is you.....tell Mike, his LB "Snake" from ATL has divorced, and see does his mouth hits the floor.

Mike stays with me whenever he come to ATL.

Holla
 
Preciate'it!!!

I'm straight...still hurtin though(ain gone lie), but things and reality has gotten better with me; that was'my gurl....D@MN!.

Now, I get the chance of living the single life, something I've never experienced before. Ya know, having your own apt., come and go as you pleeze, staying out all night, etc. I'm really enjoying that:D

But dont forget to tell Mike, he gone pass-out.
 
Originally posted by PsiSnake
MS Jag4Jag?

You married to"Mike" right? Well if this is you.....tell Mike, his LB "Snake" from ATL has divorced, and see does his mouth hits the floor.

Mike stays with me whenever he come to ATL.

Holla

:eek: I've heard a few rumors, but you know I never believed that shat! I thought it was just a case of two married people needing a break. You know being under a person for a long time, people never realize that they have to go out with the fellas/gurls just to clear the head and relieve some stress built between the Husband and wife every now and then.

This was something I thought would never happen. I'm sure you will bounce back. I know my boy and he ain't no punk. Keep doin' what you doin, Bruh. God will bless you with what your heart desires. I can pretty much tell what that is from reading your words. I'll pray for you with you. Send me a PM and I'll call you.
 
MIKE

Ya know ya'boy gone be back on top of thangz, just give me a lil'time, I'm starting from scratch ya know. I'ma call you this evening "for-real"(free cell phone minutes:D )and tell you about'it. Homegirl "flip-da-script" own'me(wanna be a player:rolleyes: ). Da bruhs been right there by myside throughout the whole ordeal....they hear'it(my divorce issues)everyday, so they been through it to.

But hey we'll talk bruh.....:cool:
 
WHATTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?

I cant believe it mayne!:(

You was married to my cousin (baby boy)derricus......1st cousin! I remember playin with ya lil girl when yall would come to the ville to visit! I cant believe it bruh...but all I can say you still cool!!!!! Good Luck in the future :)

Im still in shock:eek: SPEECHLESS
 
Yeah Tru,

Its crazy man, but life goes on.....Whats the name of "Mia X" song, "Party Don't Stop".....thats been my motto.
 
Originally posted by TRU3000
I see myself getting married around 25-27, somewhere between that time period! by then I should have all my degrees and a good job! I want to be a young father for my kids which will consist of 4 boys and 1 maybe 2 girls......Im 22 right now so in order to reach this goal of having everything together, I must say it looks hard but im up for the challenge!!!!!

Im Focused mannn!!!!!

Don't ask me to marry you then...That's too many kids to be having. Them kids would drive me to the "crazy house"! :lmao:
 
Awwww Trac...I mean Pretti at least the 2 lil girls can pledge your sorority!!! and be like there mother, grandmother, and aunt.....besides I think you would make a good momma for 6 kids;) :cool: :p :D :)
 
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No matter, how long you are married, it is still a full time job. I compare marriage to the Goose Theory. If you train a Goose one day; when the Goose wake up the next day you have to re-train. So the Goose Theory is you cannot train a Goose to do anything because a Goose always wake up to a brand new day. How do I compare marriage to the Goose Theory. Each day marriage is a challenge; yesterday was just that yesterday. In a marriage from the time you get up in the morning until you go to bed at night many things change. Things that both think are not important are really important and should be noted. . For example, just last night, I was accused of not telling her that a friend of ours had been sick. Not only did I tell her, but her friend told her. Now in a marriage you have to avoid going down that road because something else is the issue. So it is best not to argue or prove who is right or wrong.

Most people think that because they are married, they don't have to pay attention to the hits their spouse take. One school of thought is that if you don't start nothing there won't be nothing. Early in the marriage I received a call from of my spouse Co-Worker (male) concerning carpooling. I told my wife that she could not participate in carpooling. She informed the group and this fellow had the nerve to call me. After I got through with him, he understood. My point is you always have to pay attention to details. As I read your comments, it appears that you want all the problems solved before you get married. It is not going to happened. No matter who you marry, you will have to work 24/7 and keep putting that log on the fire. Because if you don't somebody will put it on for you. Don't get head over hills in debt. This can be a major problem.

You know you better crank up the heat, when you hear:

You are not paying me attention.
Spending time on the phone.
Excessive trips to the Mall.
There is always someone waiting for the right moment.
 
Originally posted by TRU3000
Awwww Trac...I mean Pretti at least the 2 lil girls can pledge your sorority!!! and be like there mother, grandmother, and aunt.....besides I think you would make a good momma for 6 kids;) :cool: :p :D :)

I might be able to work with that but I think "3 kids" is enough. Two girls and a boy.:lmao: Okay...maybe "Two boys" and a girl.:rolleyes:
 
Not ready......

I Anit ready to get married yet. I got a loooooong way to go....im just 20 years of age. Too Young............

Fa R.E.A.L. DOE!!!!!
 
Re: Hold on, what's goin' on over hea'

Originally posted by Mr. SWAC
SHE STILL MY GIRL!!!!!!:redhot:

Isn't that right Traci?:D

Yeah! :rolleyes: Ya'll know, ya'll my sugar daddies!:D

Unknown, you kept me because I had "money". That's really funny because you never got any!:p I'm too d@mn stingy with my money to even share!:rolleyes:

Anway, I gotta finish school and then grad school before I even think about settling down. I just wanna have fun while I can so that when I settle down... I won't be saying..."Should've, Could've, Would've" or "What if?" I'm only 20! I got friends that are engaged or in long term relationship (3 or 4 years). That's is already scaring me...I'm like "who's next?" :confused:
 
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