So...how many kids would y'all have nowadays?

[MetroPhillyTiger]

Mane, IMO, two would be pushing it if both parents got to work (I see someone is expecting ).

Entrenched poverty tough to shake in the Mississippi Delta
This sister got 5 kids.

 

[jsupop33]

Awaiting my first and thinking about getting snipped in January.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

I had one...and would have had more but the life we led...it was just too much to add to at that time. Now for this chick with the 5 kids...I've said it and will say it again, WE create 99.9% of our own problems. Birth control is FREE, esp if you are low income. Condoms are FREE at the health dept all day, every day even in my small town. Folks having kids cause of self laziness IMO. She didn't say she was raped...she CHOSE to have those kids. The other issue for me is folks will swing from the chandeliers and get knocked up but KNOW they can't feed themselves much less another kid, but won't abort. Then...they get half raised in a lot of cases....I'm tired of folks trying to guilt me to feel bad because they CHOSE to make these life decisions.

 

[The Founder]

My wife and I want one together. So we are trying.

 

[Kendrick]

The fiancé wants three. Two by birth and one by adoption from another country.

 

[ahnlplsa12]

I had one...and would have had more but the life we led...it was just too much to add to at that time. Now for this chick with the 5 kids...I've said it and will say it again, WE create 99.9% of our own problems. Birth control is FREE, esp if you are low income. Condoms are FREE at the health dept all day, every day even in my small town. Folks having kids cause of self laziness IMO. She didn't say she was raped...she CHOSE to have those kids. The other issue for me is folks will swing from the chandeliers and get knocked up but KNOW they can't feed themselves much less another kid, but won't abort. Then...they get half raised in a lot of cases....I'm tired of folks trying to guilt me to feel bad because they CHOSE to make these life decisions.

The Bible teaches us that we are going to always have the poor among us. I do feel obligated to do what I can to help someone less fortunate that I am. It is our responsibility to love and take care of each other. I was raised by a single mother and I know how hard she worked to make my life and my siblings lives better than what she had growing up. I am not saying that it is right to have so many children and not have a husband or some other support system to make sure that the children are raised properly but I am saying that if God has blessed any of us to help another person then we should. Most of us on this site have gone on to higher education and we are doing well overall. We should want to go back to our communities and give back so our people can do better. These young mothers and fathers don't make me feel guilty, they make me want to reach out to them and let them know that they can make it because I did. Sometime people just need reassurance that someone cares and that they are not being judged because they made some bad decisions in their lives. We have all made bad decisions but God still covered us and He continues to love us in spite of ourselves. Some people have not had the opportunity to do better. They have never seen anyone in their family do better so how do we expect them to do better? The majority of the time they will repeat what they have seen in the past. My heart goes out to this mother and others like her because as black women we don't always have the support that we need from our black men and even our black women. We need to do better and stop being so callous and passive when it comes to our people. We are obligated to help each other. Yes, I am a socialist because I do believe in free education, housing, and healthcare for the poor. I think every person should have the right to decent housing, healthcare, and education. Black Athletes and Black Celebrities that waste their money on drugs and extravagant homes and cars should feel obligated to have start-up businesses and black banks instead of wasting their money on women and drugs. Mega Churches and Preachers should have a system in place to built housing for the homeless and mothers with children instead of buying private jets, luxury cars, and mansions on a hill. As black people living in America, we need to do better. We need to pour ourselves into our people and make sure that all is well with them. This is what God wants us to do and this is what we should be doing.

 

[Mace]

I had one...and would have had more but the life we led...it was just too much to add to at that time. Now for this chick with the 5 kids...I've said it and will say it again, WE create 99.9% of our own problems. Birth control is FREE, esp if you are low income

I'm going to have the go back and read the article again but after the first read a couple days ago I don't recall the words: father, baby daddy(s), sperm donor, etc., etc., being used in the entire article. This facet of our community is ground zero for most of our problems.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Ahnaplsa12...yes, the poor will always be with us...I'm saying, at some point, some adult in her life should have pulled her coattail but apparently did not. You have this article which was designed to promote empathy yet, at what point do we say personal accountability?? I have ONE birth child...by CHOICE. I've asked for no one's help to raise him. I'm sorry, but excuses are crippling our community. I'm all for pouring our love, energy and resources to our people...but we can't do this and avoid the critical part of personal responsibility.

 

[Kendrick]

In a related topic ....

TRUMP GOING BIG ON SNAP CUTS: President Donald Trump’s budget, expected to be released Tuesday, will call for a yuge (read: greater than 25 percent) reduction in Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program spending — a request that is politically infeasible but will trigger a public fight over whether cutting anti-poverty programs is a good idea.

http://www.politico.com/tipsheets/morning-agriculture/2017/05/22/trump-going-big-on-snap-cuts-220429

 

[ahnlplsa12]

chocolate_topaz... I agree with you that someone should have talked to this young lady but I am almost positive that the living conditions where she is are as difficult for others as they are for her. Yes, we do have to take responsibility for our mistakes but sometime we need a little understanding and kindness shown in order to do better for ourselves. I am saddened by this article and others like it. This is 2017 and it seems as if we are going backward instead of forward.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

I too am saddened...but I look at those programs for addicts...the first step is admitting you have a problem. She and others areas like this, have a problem. We've bandaged it, sugarcoated it and enabled it...but no one is forcing them to reckon with their own CHOICES. We aren't forcing them to be adults with the full responsibility of their choices...we are helping them continue to make them. She is CRYING about the lack of opportunities and healthcare...but those same situations were there from child ONE. Why is it that the fantasy lives many folks build is built on bullcrap? I'm all for kindness but aren't we doing more of a disservice by not holding them accountable and allowing their actions to play out how they chose them to?

 

[CEE DOG]

I will say it again and again. Why is it so hard to have protected sex in the black community? I've never understood this. Are we afraid of condoms or is it we just gotta have that feeling? Seriously we need some type of research on this so we can solve this problem. It's obviously a problem we have. It doesn't matter if it's poor black to rich educated blacks we have a problem with unprotected sex. It's a mental problem? I understand condoms break that's understandable, but all of this ain't broke condoms or forgetting to take pills.

 

[Kendrick]

I will say it again and again. Why is it so hard to have protected sex in the black community? I've never understood this. Are we afraid of condoms or is it we just gotta have that feeling? Seriously we need some type of research on this so we can solve this problem. It's obviously a problem we have. It doesn't matter if it's poor black to rich educated blacks we have a problem with unprotected sex. It's a mental problem? I understand condoms break that's understandable, but all of this ain't broke condoms or forgetting to take pills.

Data indicates that women who are low-income, live in poor communities or have little education, tend to have higher rates of unintended pregnancies than women in other circumstances.

 

[pvdogteam]

I will say it again and again. Why is it so hard to have protected sex in the black community? I've never understood this. Are we afraid of condoms or is it we just gotta have that feeling? Seriously we need some type of research on this so we can solve this problem. It's obviously a problem we have. It doesn't matter if it's poor black to rich educated blacks we have a problem with unprotected sex. It's a mental problem? I understand condoms break that's understandable, but all of this ain't broke condoms or forgetting to take pills.

Women with access to more money have abortions and low income women have the babies in most cases

 

[The Founder]

The Bible teaches us that we are going to always have the poor among us. I do feel obligated to do what I can to help someone less fortunate that I am. It is our responsibility to love and take care of each other. I was raised by a single mother and I know how hard she worked to make my life and my siblings lives better than what she had growing up. I am not saying that it is right to have so many children and not have a husband or some other support system to make sure that the children are raised properly but I am saying that if God has blessed any of us to help another person then we should. Most of us on this site have gone on to higher education and we are doing well overall. We should want to go back to our communities and give back so our people can do better. These young mothers and fathers don't make me feel guilty, they make me want to reach out to them and let them know that they can make it because I did. Sometime people just need reassurance that someone cares and that they are not being judged because they made some bad decisions in their lives. We have all made bad decisions but God still covered us and He continues to love us in spite of ourselves. Some people have not had the opportunity to do better. They have never seen anyone in their family do better so how do we expect them to do better? The majority of the time they will repeat what they have seen in the past. My heart goes out to this mother and others like her because as black women we don't always have the support that we need from our black men and even our black women. We need to do better and stop being so callous and passive when it comes to our people. We are obligated to help each other. Yes, I am a socialist because I do believe in free education, housing, and healthcare for the poor. I think every person should have the right to decent housing, healthcare, and education. Black Athletes and Black Celebrities that waste their money on drugs and extravagant homes and cars should feel obligated to have start-up businesses and black banks instead of wasting their money on women and drugs. Mega Churches and Preachers should have a system in place to built housing for the homeless and mothers with children instead of buying private jets, luxury cars, and mansions on a hill. As black people living in America, we need to do better. We need to pour ourselves into our people and make sure that all is well with them. This is what God wants us to do and this is what we should be doing.

Brother I understand but when does a person realize that they should not have anymore kids if they already can't take care of the kids they have?

Simple solution get some birth control or stop fucking. See in the black community we want to run to the Bible to justify things....how about utilizing reality. I'm speaking from experience. My wife has a cousin with 5 kids. One child recently passed away at 1 because of birth defects. We told her after the 3rd child not to have anymore kids but she did anyway. Now it's 3 adults and 4 kids living in one house and she is getting by with child support and food stamps. He sister had a kid at 16 and she is 23 now and whoring and the kid is a 7 year old sissy. My wife and I have asked to raise the daughter who is 4 but we are constantly met with challenges. The dad is a sucker and she has 4 kids by 3 different dudes.

I love giving back but before I give I'm going to give a reality check.

Folks are quick to blame poverty but they are not worried about poverty when they are in the bed screwing.

 

[The Founder]

Women with access to more money have abortions and low income women have the babies in most cases

You do know condoms are free at the health unit right.

 

[ahnlplsa12]

Brother I understand but when does a person realize that they should not have anymore kids if they already can't take care of the kids they have?

Simple solution get some birth control or stop fucking. See in the black community we want to run to the Bible to justify things....how about utilizing reality. I'm speaking from experience. My wife has a cousin with 5 kids. One child recently passed away at 1 because of birth defects. We told her after the 3rd child not to have anymore kids but she did anyway. Now it's 3 adults and 4 kids living in one house and she is getting by with child support and food stamps. He sister had a kid at 16 and she is 23 now and whoring and the kid is a 7 year old sissy. My wife and I have asked to raise the daughter who is 4 but we are constantly met with challenges. The dad is a sucker and she has 4 kids by 3 different dudes.

I love giving back but before I give I'm going to give a reality check.

Folks are quick to blame poverty but they are not worried about poverty when they are in the bed screwing.

First and foremost... I am a sister not a brother. I am not saying that people should not take responsibility for their actions. But what I am saying is that sometime we have the tendency to come off harsh and very insensitive about people stories and mistakes. Yes, five children is a stretch but instead of us bashing the lady and talking about her not using protection...what can we do to fix the problem? Yes, the black community have many woes but what have we done as a race of people to lift up our own people? We talk about all the problems that we have with our young people but what do we do? How many of us go back to our communities to help solve the problems? We don't go back and mentor our young women and men down in the Delta part of MS or anywhere else. Real mentoring makes a big difference in how people live their lives. Young people today don't have that foundation that we had back in the day. Our parents, teachers, and neighbors were looking out for us but this is a new generation and things have changed drastically in the last ten, twenty, thirty, forty years when we were growing up. We might do something every blue moon with Greek Organizations or Big Brothers and Big Sisters but is it consistent enough to make a difference? We look down on each other instead of asking what can we do or say to make a difference in this man, woman, or child's life? I want all of us to do well and we are losing too many children due to our nonchalant attitudes. These children are our future and we need to do as much as we can to keep them on the right road to success. They will be the ones taking care of some of us if we have to go to nursing facilities or assisted living. We need to do better at preparing our people for this mean and evil world. We need our own.

 

[CEE DOG]

Data indicates that women who are low-income, live in poor communities or have little education, tend to have higher rates of unintended pregnancies than women in other circumstances.

I agree. I'm from the inner city ghetto. I fully understand this, but it still doesn't answer the question. I have a friend who has a PHD in science, makes over 150k a year having unprotected sex with five women who he goes back and forth with. This is the mentality I'm referring to not the same ole excuse we keep producing. We have a problem in our community. It needs to be addressed! Making excuses ain't helping.

 

[CEE DOG]

Women with access to more money have abortions and low income women have the babies in most cases

I agree but overall we have a serious problem.

 

[Herbert77060]

I am coming from another angle with this. How about we guys not impregnate these type women? Some guys will hit anything for any reason or no reason. Back in my "hit most things days" there was this chick fine as all get out and chocolate who use to follow our group where ever we played in Houston. I found out she could sew so I that was my gateway to get at her. Well, I went to her apartment one evening with the intention of making this a conjugal visit in addition to getting measured for a new outfit. When I got there and saw 3 crumb snatchers come out of the back room it was over for me. Just measure me and let me get on my way. I was not about to possibly add to her family. Just could not do it. We are talking mid 70s and no Cee.....I never considered using a condom.

 

[Kendrick]

I agree. I'm from the inner city ghetto. I fully understand this, but it still doesn't answer the question. I have a friend who has a PHD in science, makes over 150k a year having unprotected sex with five women who he goes back and forth with. This is the mentality I'm referring to not the same ole excuse we keep producing. We have a problem in our community. It needs to be addressed! Making excuses ain't helping.

A lot of it has to do with folks not being taught about sexual health. The only thing folks are told is to either avoid it, it's wrong to do, or use condoms.

 

[CEE DOG]

A lot of it has to do with folks not being taught about sexual health. The only thing folks are told is to either avoid it, it's wrong to do, or use condoms.

Still doesn't solve the issue. Just adds on to the excuse.

 

[Herbert77060]

A lot of it has to do with folks not being taught about sexual health. The only thing folks are told is to either avoid it, it's wrong to do, or use condoms.

No Kendrick...this is the kind of stuff Cee and c_t and others are talking about. Whether you got the "talk" or not if you are over the age of 21 (hell 18 for that matter) you KNOW if you have unprotected sexual intercourse there is a real good chance a pregnancy could happen. You do not need a sex education class to tell you that.

 

[CEE DOG]

When I was younger and a woman told me she didn't like using condoms I got the hell headed. I know cats who all slept with the same girl and all three have kids by her. That's fuking ridiculous.

No Kendrick...this is the kind of stuff Cee and c_t and others are talking about. Whether you got the "talk" or not if you are over the age of 21 (hell 18 for that matter) you KNOW if you have unprotected sexual intercourse there is a real good chance a pregnancy could happen. You do not need a sex education class to tell you that.

 

[The Founder]

First and foremost... I am a sister not a brother. I am not saying that people should not take responsibility for their actions. But what I am saying is that sometime we have the tendency to come off harsh and very insensitive about people stories and mistakes. Yes, five children is a stretch but instead of us bashing the lady and talking about her not using protection...what can we do to fix the problem? Yes, the black community have many woes but what have we done as a race of people to lift up our own people? We talk about all the problems that we have with our young people but what do we do? How many of us go back to our communities to help solve the problems? We don't go back and mentor our young women and men down in the Delta part of MS or anywhere else. Real mentoring makes a big difference in how people live their lives. Young people today don't have that foundation that we had back in the day. Our parents, teachers, and neighbors were looking out for us but this is a new generation and things have changed drastically in the last ten, twenty, thirty, forty years when we were growing up. We might do something every blue moon with Greek Organizations or Big Brothers and Big Sisters but is it consistent enough to make a difference? We look down on each other instead of asking what can we do or say to make a difference in this man, woman, or child's life? I want all of us to do well and we are losing too many children due to our nonchalant attitudes. These children are our future and we need to do as much as we can to keep them on the right road to success. They will be the ones taking care of some of us if we have to go to nursing facilities or assisted living. We need to do better at preparing our people for this mean and evil world. We need our own.

Sorry didn't know your gender....at any rate what we need to do is stop babying people and give them the real. That's across the board. This woman wasn't screaming for a fiscal need when she was making the kids, now she wants us (the tax payers) to assist in maintaining their fiscal well being. I'm a strong believer in mentoring but you can lead the horse to the water but the horse has to want to drink it and not simply because they are thirsty.