Single, Saved —and


K

Kendrick

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Having Sex...

More are asking, “Am I really condemning my soul to eternal damnation by getting my freak on Saturday night and praising the Lord on Sunday morning?†As many as 80 percent of young unmarried Christians have had sex, according to Relevant, a magazine for Christians aged 18 to 30.


Even as they uphold abstinence as ideal, religious leaders can no longer ignore the elephant in the sanctuary. From a newsletter published by pastor Creflo Dollar: “There was a time when … marriage was honored and respected ... and sexual relationships outside of marriage were certainly not accepted as the norm. However, times have changed … values have moved away from the standard of God’s Word because of selfishness.â€

“The Bible is clear that you should not have sex outside of marriage, but that is not the reality of what’s going on,†says Sophia Nelson, award-winning author of Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama (BenBella Books).

“It is unrealistic in the 21st century to expect celibacy until marriage. We live in a sexualized society and [during] a time [when] people marry much later,†says Nelson.

http://www.ebony.com/love-sex/single-saved-and-having-sex
 
^^^^I like this, Kendrick.

We discussed this a few months ago in my Bible study class. And also, the topic for our 4-Church Fellowship Scholarship this year is "Living Saved in an Unsaved World". Some of the info will be pretty helpful to our high school seniors who will apply; I'll pass this on to them.
 

That's wonderful. I think it is paramount the church discusses these issues with our youth.
 
but he is right, the numbers are definitely increasing. I can't think of one close friend with less than 35 sexual partners.
 
I read the book a few years back. I think tbere was a thread started here about it.

Pop, I was not the promiscuous type and those who were of such generally were and are not in my circle of friends. That 35 number just seems HUGE to me.
 
dacontinent said:
I read the book a few years back. I think tbere was a thread started here about it.

Pop, I was not the promiscuous type and those who were of such generally were and are not in my circle of friends. That 35 number just seems HUGE to me.
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I didn't know a whole book was written about the subject.

Dacon, so can a person have casual sex and consider themselves saved?
 
dacontinent said:
I read the book a few years back. I think tbere was a thread started here about it.

Pop, I was not the promiscuous type and those who were of such generally were and are not in my circle of friends. That 35 number just seems HUGE to me.
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Lets just say, you start in high school, you sleep with maybe a person every two months of the school year, comes out to about 4-5 a year, that will be about 20 by the time you graduate, then you get to college and add about 15-20 more, that will come out to 35-40 by the time one walks down that aisle.

Most of my friends in HS were my teammates and they were pretty promiscuous, then I got to college and the same thing went for my frat brothers and teammates. I am sure that Kendrick saw similar things playing baseball.

That 35 number is actually on the low end, If I really only counted the brothers I talk to on a daily basis, the average would be above 50.

I take my original statement back now though, I have two close male friends that I believe will have numbers under 20.
 
jsupop33 said:
Lets just say, you start in high school, you sleep with maybe a person every two months of the school year, comes out to about 4-5 a year, that will be about 20 by the time you graduate, then you get to college and add about 15-20 more, that will come out to 35-40 by the time one walks down that aisle.

Most of my friends in HS were my teammates and they were pretty promiscuous, then I got to college and the same thing went for my frat brothers and teammates. I am sure that Kendrick saw similar things playing baseball.

That 35 number is actually on the low end, If I really only counted the brothers I talk to on a daily basis, the average would be above 50.

I take my original statement back now though, I have two close male friends that I believe will have numbers under 20.
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Yeah, my teammates in both high school and college got around to say the least.
 
Honestly though,
I am starting to see that rapid premarital sex can mess with one's ability to fully interact with members of the opposite sex. Growing up, most of the older men I knew treated sex as some sort of casual sport, like hunting. I was taught from the begging, to go and "Sow my Oats"
 
jsupop33 said:
Honestly though,
I am starting to see that rapid premarital sex can mess with one's ability to fully interact with members of the opposite sex. Growing up, most of the older men I knew treated sex as some sort of casual sport, like hunting. I was taught from the begging, to go and "Sow my Oats"
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Well, I didn't grow up around men who literally had notches on their belts from years of one-night stands. I never got the whole "talk" or anything like that. I only remember two words of wisdom about sex from the adults in my life:

Right before I went to JSU my mom said: "Kendrick, don't hang around those fast girls." From my uncle, "Kendrick, there is nothing wrong with letting a girl sit on your face." Other than that, I learned just like everyone else born in the 80s -- hours and hours of TV and stories from my friends.
 
I agree, Pop.

I think it's part of what makes for the throw-away marriages we have. The bond is not special. It can be easily had with the next person or it was better with that other person, so why stay in this relationship? It's meaningless just like the sex is meaningless.
 
I am just now coming to this point. I am engaged now. I still struggle with lust like I always have but honestly, I have way many more moments of clarity these days. I used to wake up sometime, realize that some young lady was particularly in my bed, and dang near be depressed.

Kendrick,
I was the star athlete of my high school, I was given the "stud" speech from plenty of people. My father's only advice was, "I know you are having sex, you will probably have a lot more when you go to college, just don't make any babies".


but more so than that, when I got to about 14, the old heads would always ask me and my homeboys if we were having sex, giving us pointers on how to bed young ladies, etc... Those barbershop discussions have a big influence.
 
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jsupop33 said:
Kendrick,
I was the star athlete of my high school, I was given the "stud" speech from plenty of people. My father's only advice was, "I know you are having sex, you will probably have a lot more when you go to college, just don't make any babies".


but more so than that, when I got to about 14, the old heads would always ask me and my homeboys if we were having sex, giving us pointers on how to bed young ladies, etc... Those barbershop discussions have a big influence.
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I didn't talk about it with old heads at all. Of course being on a team guys were always chatting away, but is was very sophomoric in nature, though.
 
Last time I checked, none of you so called church folks ain't got a heaven or hell to put anyone in. For all you know you might be going to hell yourself. You can fool me, but can't fool the big guy. Now this one particular fella from Sippi he is going some where, don't no where but boy is he ever in trouble if there is a hell. :scared:
 
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Aye, you learn a lot from talking to old heads. I was mainly raised by old black men. My dad, my uncle's, older brother and older guys in the neighborhood.
 
jsupop33 said:
Aye, you learn a lot from talking to old heads. I was mainly raised by old black men. My dad, my uncle's, older brother and older guys in the neighborhood.
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I grew up in the same house as my grandparents. So they, along with mom, raised me. I would get some gems from time-to-time.
 
kendrick said:
I didn't know a whole book was written about the subject.

Dacon, so can a person have casual sex and consider themselves saved?
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As best I can recall the author's name is Ty Adams. She also was on a number of Christian talk shows with the book.

People can do whatever they want and CONSIDER THEMSELVES saved; but the Bible reads a bit differently. A lot of people struggle with a number of things before coming to faith in Christ. Most struggle some afterward for some period of time. But, when we are still practicing those diabolical behaviors ... we are just in sin.
 
dacontinent said:
As best I can recall the author's name is Ty Adams. She also was on a number of Christian talk shows with the book.

People can do whatever they want and CONSIDER THEMSELVES saved; but the Bible reads a bit differently. A lot of people struggle with a number of things before coming to faith in Christ. Most struggle some afterward for some period of time. But, when we are still practicing those diabolical behaviors ... we are just in sin.
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But what about the idea of once saved, always saved?
 
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CEE DOG said:
Last time I checked, none of you so called church folks ain't got a heaven or hell to put anyone in. For all you know you might be going to hell yourself. You can fool me, but can't fool the big guy.
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:tup: :tup:

What's one man's struggle is clearly not the next. I could care less what others (preachers included; matter of fact, especially preachers) say or think about those who have a sexual past that may not be a clean as theirs or the next man. We ALL have struggles with some kind of sin. If you don't, you're lying to yourself. And if you're so blameless, you can't say anything to me or encourage me in Christ. Because I need to hear from folks with struggles, so I can know that I can press forward. If fornication wasn't your demon, good for you. :clap: But I bet you got an equally "bad sin" that's not pleasing to God. We all should be striving for and working toward to live a life that's pleasing to God.
 
CriTAUcal said:
:tup: :tup:

What's one man's struggle is clearly not the next. I could care less what others (preachers included; matter of fact, especially preachers) say or think about those who have a sexual past that may not be a clean as theirs or the next man. We ALL have struggles with some kind of sin. If you don't, you're lying to yourself. And if you're so blameless, you can't say anything to me or encourage me in Christ. Because I need to hear from folks with struggles, so I can know that I can press forward. If fornication wasn't your demon, good for you. :clap: But I bet you got an equally "bad sin" that's not pleasing to God. We all should be striving for and working toward to live a life that's pleasing to God.
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CriTAUcal, that was a very lucid response, I had to give you your props. Now let's get on with my response.


Sexuality in humans is becoming a lot like sexuality in domestic dogs. It's just about humping whomever is out there to relieve stress and tension.

Once you are a responsible adult and can take care of yourself, you can do whatever you want. Sex is a need and not a want to many people.

If you are going to deny "putting a smile on your face" and your physical well being because of words written in a book of fiction or words spewed from a pulpit, go ahead and play "Captain, May I" and take two steps backwards, because you will never reach the finish line called the real world!
 
bernard said:
CriTAUcal, that was a very lucid response, I had to give you your props. Now let's get on with my response.


Sexuality in humans is becoming a lot like sexuality in domestic dogs. It's just about humping whomever is out there to relieve stress and tension.

Once you are a responsible adult and can take care of yourself, you can do whatever you want. Sex is a need and not a want to many people.

If you are going to deny "putting a smile on your face" and your physical well being because of words written in a book of fiction or words spewed from a pulpit, go ahead and play "Captain, May I" and take two steps backwards, because you will never reach the finish line called the real world!
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So how would you respond to someone who is an atheist or agnostic, but chooses not to be promiscuous or have more than one partner, be they male or female? Or if they made those choices based off of how they were raised. You said; "sex is a need and not a want", well if that is the case, then people have screwed up priorities. (yeah I know that is my opinion, but I'm entitled to it)
We all need food, water, and most importantly air to breathe. But sex??? Trust me I want it all the time, but I don't think I need it.

Here's a question: If you want something all the time, does that mean you need it?

As for someone denying putting a smile on their face, for whatever reason. Biblical or otherwise there are many who would feel remorse immediately afterwards, and probably during the heat of the moment for that matter. Think of a married person who has just cheated on their spouse, they may be feeling the sex, but at some point during or after the sex they may regret it.

How may people do you know want "A moment of pleasure for a lifetime in Hell"? Too many!!!
 
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