jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
I lifted this from another messageboard on a topic about dating in DC, I am interested to hear your thoughts and whether we are seeing this play out across America overall.
To be honest, the money doesn't make that big of a difference. Six-figure salaries are pretty much standard issue in DC. It may impress the 33-year old, average to above average-looking chicks looking to land a long-term partner, move to Silver Spring/PG County, and raise a family, but it won't take you so far with the younger, attractive chicks that most guys want. Just being honest.
That said, I think it depends. Men get judged by a lot of things beyond our looks. The money is one factor. Did you attend Ivy League schools? That's probably more important, or at least as important, as your salary. The better the school, the more play you get (Harvard > UNC > Howard Law). Your social network may be more important than your money, and as important as your degrees. Being well-connected will get you that many more quality women (narrow definiton of "quality": slender with pretty faces). I don't think one factor alone, such as white-collar job, is sufficient to determine what your luck will be like with the women here. I mean, if a girl comes on C-D and posts a pic of herself that resembles Alicia Keys, it's pretty much fair to say that she'll have her pick of quality (read: high status) men. Men dig looks. But because women are more diverse in what turns them on (some like badboys, some like lawyers, some like club promoters, some like "swagger," etc), it's hard to say how a guy will fare just because he's a lawyer. I have friends who are doctors and lawyers that struggle to get cute chicks, and I have friends who are less attractive dee-jays, club promoters and bartenders who pull 8s and 9s on the regular. Go figure.
As far as the dating "scene," I will say this. The women here are, on average, more accomplished than women in other cities. More PhDs, more law degrees, higher salaries, etc. Because they are "successful," they think they are worth more on the open market than a cute waitress at Applebee's. They think to themselves: "I want a man with money, a nice job and a car, what man wouldn't want all of that in me?" So, you have a bunch of regular chicks, who in days past would be content with the regular man, thinking that their "success" has given their attractiveness a boost, and they therefore raise their asking price. Women date UP. So the guy who realistically may be their equal (the guy with the regular job, regular apartment and regular car) is put on the backburner for the guy who offers even MORE than what they have. They don't realize that men, within reason, view an 8 who's a first-grade teacher and an 8 who's a Wharton MBA exactly the same. But the Wharton MBA has expecations that are WAAAY higher than the teacher's.
The result is a lot of women chasing high-status men throughout their twenties, completely squandering away their youth (because men do like youthful women). Many of the "quality" women (read: slender, pretty, humble, good heads on shoulders) get taken off the market early. Many attractive women, and not-so-attractive women, spend their time dancing on top of tables at Park or Luxe Lounge, sleeping around, hit 30, and then demand an engagement ring. But by then, no reasonably sane man with options wants a chick who knows 46 different martini flavors and knows the entire '02 Spring Line of Omega Psi Phi at State U. These chicks overplayed their hands and their numbers are overwhelming in the DC area.
Good Man = Alpha Male
So then the question becomes "What defines an alpha male?" And the answer to that is pretty simple as well. An alpha male is the man that all of the women want to boff...for whatever reason. Unlike a man, a woman's standards are not necessarily objective. For example, a man sees a pretty woman and a bell goes off in his head. A woman's looks are the only thing that will set that bell off. But women are different. The guy who sets that bell off could be extremely physically attractive, or he could be very rich, or he could very charming, or he could be, very simply, good at getting other women. The latter is typically most attractive to women.
Women, just like men, have animalistic, hindbrain instincts that they follow. Whereas a man's instincts lead him to pursue young, physically attractive women, a woman's instincts lead her to pursue the few men who already have more chicks than they can handle. It's very circular, yes, I know. An attractive man is a man that women find attractive. Why do you think it is that whenever you're seen with a pretty girl, all of the other women take notice? Because women have diverse tastes, a man who gets lots of girls will often become more attractive to other girls because they think "Well, she's pretty and she's with him. He must have something good to offer." That doesn't make any sense, but neither does a man pursuing a woman who has clear skin, long hair and a curvy body. Those things send the message to your subconscious that "I'm healthy and fertile!" When a man has lots of chicks, it sends a message to a woman's subconscious that says "Hey girls, I got that hot seed!"
So, in summary, if women are rejecting you, they don't consider you to be a "good" man. When women say "I can't find a good man," that's code for "I wasn't able to beat out the competition for the 26 men that all of the other women wanted and now I'm mad about it." Or it means, "I couldn't get the man that the other 46,000 black women in the DC Metro area were pursuing to commit to me exclusively."
