MJ needs some advice


Miami Jag

Miami Jag

Mr. Brown Eyes
Unfortunately, it seems that my marriage is headed towards a separation and ultimately a divorce. I feel that I contribute 120% to my family, but it seems that is never enough (according to my wife) :redhot: I can't imagine my boys not living with me, but I can't continue to live under these conditions any more. She has already requested $600 a month for the kids...is this reasonable?

Gloria Alred send help!
 
MJ, sorry to hear that bruh.

The $$$$ req'd is based on a percentage of your net income (help me out lawyers). I know that here in Texas, it's 22% (or 22.5% first child, 17% or 17.5%, so forth).

Good luck w/ it man. It takes $$$$ to raise kids man.
 

Be Strong, MJ

Hey Mj, It was a brotha on my ship in the Navy that was probaly in the same situation you are in. He thought that providing his wife with the material things and money would be enough. His wife divorced him because she could not take the pressure about him being away from home often. Later he finally realized that all she was wanted from him was his attention. She wanted him to make her feel that she is his ONLY priority. Women love attention. That's all they want from their mate is attention, attention and more attention. If they feel that you are not giving them the attention, then they feel that you are giving the attention to someone else.

A lady told me that women got to have both, and that is ATTENTION AND FINANCIAL SECURITY. In that order too!
 
Re: Be Strong, MJ

Originally posted by pbla
Hey Mj, It was a brotha on my ship in the Navy that was probaly in the same situation you are in. He thought that providing his wife with the material things and money would be enough. His wife divorced him because she could not take the pressure about him being away from home often. Later he finally realized that all she was wanted from him was his attention. She wanted him to make her feel that she is his ONLY priority. Women love attention. That's all they want from their mate is attention, attention and more attention. If they feel that you are not giving them the attention, then they feel that you are giving the attention to someone else.

A lady told me that women got to have both, and that is ATTENTION AND FINANCIAL SECURITY. In that order too!
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Thanks Panthro.... $$$ is right....I hope the courts and Florida laws don't hurt me to bad :(

pbla ...damn were you a fly on our wall or something because that appeared the basis for the point she was trying to make. However, when both of us having demanding jobs along with raising kids, quality time for us is hard and is often lost. I've paid for day care, and a house keeper but still she complains. That woman just have freaking issues!
:redhot:
 
I'm very sorry to hear this but....

......you two have more than one child together right? The child support law follows your income as a guide for payment. And unfortunately for your pocket(s) if you make a pretty penny, she will too. But one must remember that it takes more than money to raise kids. Our children need our love and support in any and every way possible. You have to be there for your children as well, they need to know that just because daddy's no longer living with them, that you still love them. Please MJ, whatever you do, don't put your children in the middle of you and your wife's mess.

Peace and May GOD richly bless you both, I've been there so I can most definitely relate.

Hope all works out for the best. :)
 
MJ Try to Work it Out

Well MJ, I live in Little Rock, but you gave the key phrase I hear most of us men use when we have some tensions with our mates and that's "I provide her everything what more do she want" or "I give her everything". But please, Take DtownJag's advice about the kids. If your marriage can be saved, try to for the kids sake. When two people who love each other fight, the blame falls on no one person but the two people who are having problems. I don't know man if you want save your marriage and the sanity of your kids, you might have to apologize first. Where I work women and men lie to their bosses and say they got leave early and say "something came up at home I got to take care of " or " I have some business to take care of." You know what kind of business they are talking about. Even in a federal job man you have got to care of home. A job is a supplement to your life and it is NOT your life.

Good Luck Bro.:)
 
And Another Thing MJ

If you see that this marriage is irreconcilable (sp), then by all means you two need to split and go your separate ways. The worst thing one can do is stay in a marriage solely for the kids. If you and your wife are bickering constantly and not getting along, then this affects the kids even worse. They need to see you two at peace with each other, whether together or not.

Hope all works out.
 
Thanks pbla and DTOWN!

I will not let the kids get caught in the middle of this mess. It's because of them I've chose not to let her antics bother me, 'cause I know it could get pretty nasty. As long as my wife refuses to face her issues and problems then we as a couple can never grow. I am all apologized out! MJ did plenty of that for the sake of peace and guess what MJ is no longer taking that path. Peace my azz! If that woman can't appreciate me and my love for her, the kids and what we have, then this marriage no longer worth fighting for :redhot:
 
Preach on MJ, I feel ya

Originally posted by Miami Jag
Thanks pbla and DTOWN!

I will not let the kids get caught in the middle of this mess. It's because of them I've chose not to let her antics bother me, 'cause I know it could get pretty nasty. As long as my wife refuses to face her issues and problems then we as a couple can never grow. I am all apologized out! MJ did plenty of that for the sake of peace and guess what MJ is no longer taking that path. Peace my azz! If that woman can't appreciate me and my love for her, the kids and what we have, then this marriage no longer worth fighting for :redhot:
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That last sentence says it all....I follow that motto myself.
 
My two cents... Hopefully the two will be adults about the split and realize its not about you but the kids and maintain some courtesy with each other when the kids are around. hopefully your wife won't use your kids as a pawn to try to get back at you or hurt you. I hope you guys discuss this.... Good luck....
 
I'm no marriage counsler...

Starting = I'm really sorry to hear this.

Second = I'm not sure of your belief in God, but if you do have a relationship/communication with God I think this is something that you need to take up with Him. NO one knows your heart like you do except Him.

Lastly = Don't let anger rule your decision making process. Sadly,
divorce has become the answer to societies problems. But the bible speaks about divorce and marrage for that matter. If you're interested I can get some information or scriptures for you...

My heart goes out to you, because this is a VERY serious situation you are about to embark upon.

I'll pray for you and your family.

Pris
 
Brother, only you know if you've done all you can or all you're willing to do. I pray that it works out for the best (either together or apart). God Bless you, your wife, and your children
in the days and years to come!
 
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