No winners in Kobe sweepstakes
No winners in Kobe sweepstakes
The Chicago Bulls had better be careful about what you're wishing for.
Don't pretend to be confounded by the wishing reference. The Kobe Bryant trade-me rollercoaster has reached another "weee!" point and ? unless you're a platinum-card-carrying Los Angeles Lakers fan ? you want to see him in Chicago.
It's the same combustion-potential philosophy that has you rooting for someone to put beer in the break-room vending machine.
There are myriad reasons why a Kobe-to-Chicago deal is a long shot, but we don't care about those. We only care that Kobe in Bulls work clothes would be quite a bit like Eric Cartman switching cartoons and taking over for Bart Simpson.
With apologies to Vince Carter and Harold Miner, Bryant is the only human who has worn the Michael Jordan comparison without provoking a spit-take within the basketball community. Kobe has had the ups, the skill, the Phil and the will to survive this scrutiny without completely buckling under the pressure.
But could he handle this comparison in Chicago, where MJ's statue presides like a mistreated watchdog flanking the United Center? What a hayride this could be. OK, it may be more like a runaway-train ride and that's what makes the possibility so compelling.
Anyway, despite Kobe's considerable skill and credentials, suiting up for the Bulls as their first post-Jordan superstar ? playing the same position ? seems as dicey as lining up next to Einstein at the science fair.
For the record, MJ is the greatest team-sport athlete in history. During two alleged closing runs in Chicago, Jordan willed the Bulls to a pair of NBA Finals three-peats (how much do we owe Pat Riley for typing three-peat?). He was the Finals MVP each time, not once surrendering the spotlight to a young Frenchman on the cusp of marrying some older network TV actress.
With the possible exceptions of Tiger Woods, Babe Ruth, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis and Mickey Mouse, MJ has spawned the most "next" talent searches in American iconic history.
Unfortunately, something that smells like screaming fun for us to contemplate could turn into a deep Chicago mess. Please note that I have an extremely high regard for Kobe on the court. While team-related value is difficult to quantify outside of Tim Duncan, Bryant still checks in as the game's best end-to-end perimeter player.
But separating him from the Lakers would require the Bulls to nearly gut a squad which rivals the Cleveland Cavaliers as the best young team in a down Eastern Conference. According to the trade-speculation sharpies, Chicago would have to wave bye-bye to small forward Luol Deng, shooting guard Ben Gordon, someone else with a big contract (they wouldn't mind if it's expensive offensive liability Ben Wallace) and the ninth pick in this month's draft to acquire Bryant.
In Bryant, they would satisfy the biggest requirement on my flow chart of becoming an NBA champion ? the legitimate superstar. With the exceptions being the 2004 Detroit Pistons and 1979 Seattle SuperSonics, each NBA championship team in the leather-sneaker era has been dragged to triumph by at least one surefire Hall of Famer.
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