Have any of you ended a friendship over how they treated their partner?


jsupop33 said:
Facebook is what you make it man. I got off facebook before I got married because it was causing all type of issues. I ended up getting back on for business reasons and I haven't had one issue.

On the other hand, my IG DM's stay lit with hood chicks shooting their shot. lol
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LMAO!!!!

Man I done seen cats ex's use facebook in divorce proceedings...LOL...

Best thing to do Pops is block em....LOL....then when your wife gets the phone and see you done blocked chicks....man happy wife happy home.
 
The Founder said:
LMAO!!!!

Man I done seen cats ex's use facebook in divorce proceedings...LOL...

Best thing to do Pops is block em....LOL....then when your wife gets the phone and see you done blocked chicks....man happy wife happy home.
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If you doing dirt on facebook then yeah, they gone use it. IG a different beast man. I need to join snapchat for business but Im still scared of it.
 



The Founder said:
Man my wife is cool...she's an introvert and likes privacy but will talk your fucking head off!!!!



My response would have been, "I could never stand that bitch she always got some shit going on. I don't go around her...she ain't no good." LOL.....



For real bruh.....cats got that bad trying to be hard. Every time you see them they got some fast food in their hand or always out and about. Them cats wife ain't happy so they make it worse by leaving and saying fuck it. Cat can't get a divorce cause they got kids and the child support will eat him up plus they own a home so he screwed. Instead of just being agreeable they keep their wife upset. no sir....my wife don't like some shit...I don't like it. when my wife try on something and ask how it looks I say I like it...here's an example:

Wife: Baby how you like this outfit.
Me: I love it
Wife: I don't like it..it makes me look fat.
Me: Baby you not fat they just made some fucked up material. I bet it's cheap.
Wife: Yea you right what about this one I like it.
Me: I like that also it's made out of better material.
Wife: Ok baby I'm getting it.

See....that happened this weekend.

My wife for some odd reason likes to sleep with a fan on. Yes a fucking fan. Like the old folks have on the porch. I hate that shit. Does she know it....hell no...my ass went and bought some sleep aid and that fan does not bother me. She happy and ain't mad.

I told our son, "look clean up the house first thing in the morning and you know what time you mom will get home...when you hear her car just go in the kitchen and get a clorox wipe and start wiping the counters or something." That little negro got it down packed, wife comes home sees a neat house and he working she sit down and relax.

Happy wife happy home. Cats goin learn. Best thing in the world is TIVO. I'm watching TV..my wife say something I pause the TV. At that moment I don't care if she is saying there are six monkeys farting cotton balls on a pigeon. I'm going to pay full attention. Happy wife happy home. My wife is a nurse and on her feet all day. I iron her scrubs for her. All she has to do is hand them up and put the ones she wants to wear in front. Hell I done got smart she has tennis shoes for every color of scrubs hell I put them out by the scrubs. Next thing I know she making black eyed peas, jiffy corn bread with honey, baked chicken, and some of them cut red potatoes and done fixed my plate. Happy wife happy home.
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Yeah, you're doing all that now, cause you're still newly wed, but shit gets old. Watch....
 
chocalate_topaz said:
See...that's why you can't get your plate made no mo...............
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Exactly....hell I get my advice from folks who been married for 30 plus years....the advice the men give me is simple:

1. In the home she's your wife
2. When you go out she is your girlfriend and court her
3. In the bedroom handle business
 
Blacknbengal said:
Holla at me when you're 5 in, then you hit your 10 mark. Then we can talk about peace when you get home.
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I got married in my mid 40s and my wife is 36. I think age a lot to do with it when people discuss struggles. I think as we mature little things are less of a focal point than the big things. I know some of my recently married peers had a problem with dudes liking their wive's facebook statuses and pictures. I'm not on facebook so that mess does not matter to me. I have seen guys upset about their sex life and my response is simple "you should have been open with what you wanted from jump street instead of saying you wanted a woman who wasn't freaky because she has not been with many men." On even gets upset when his wife cooks and does not clean as she cooks. I'm like negro she done slaved in the kitchen go clean it and STFU. Cats getting mad over their wife being junky. Hell all women junky....got all types of shit and don't want to throw shit away. Plus you ass wasn't mad when you were hitting her from the back and had move the purses and freshly washed clothes out of the way when you were dating her.

All marriage problems have a remedy if people would approach things properly.
 
The Founder said:
I got married in my mid 40s and my wife is 36. I think age a lot to do with it when people discuss struggles. I think as we mature little things are less of a focal point than the big things. I know some of my recently married peers had a problem with dudes liking their wive's facebook statuses and pictures. I'm not on facebook so that mess does not matter to me. I have seen guys upset about their sex life and my response is simple "you should have been open with what you wanted from jump street instead of saying you wanted a woman who wasn't freaky because she has not been with many men." On even gets upset when his wife cooks and does not clean as she cooks. I'm like negro she done slaved in the kitchen go clean it and STFU. Cats getting mad over their wife being junky. Hell all women junky....got all types of shit and don't want to throw shit away. Plus you ass wasn't mad when you were hitting her from the back and had move the purses and freshly washed clothes out of the way when you were dating her.

All marriage problems have a remedy if people would approach things properly.
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Hey now!
 
The Founder said:
I got married in my mid 40s and my wife is 36. I think age a lot to do with it when people discuss struggles. I think as we mature little things are less of a focal point than the big things. I know some of my recently married peers had a problem with dudes liking their wive's facebook statuses and pictures. I'm not on facebook so that mess does not matter to me. I have seen guys upset about their sex life and my response is simple "you should have been open with what you wanted from jump street instead of saying you wanted a woman who wasn't freaky because she has not been with many men." On even gets upset when his wife cooks and does not clean as she cooks. I'm like negro she done slaved in the kitchen go clean it and STFU. Cats getting mad over their wife being junky. Hell all women junky....got all types of shit and don't want to throw shit away. Plus you ass wasn't mad when you were hitting her from the back and had move the purses and freshly washed clothes out of the way when you were dating her.

All marriage problems have a remedy if people would approach things properly.
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At your 5 year mark and when you hit 10, holla then. You saying all the right stuff now, but like Mike Tyson said. "E'vyone have a statagee until they get hit."
 
Not my experience...was good at least to year 11...then the gambling set in.....and all those things that go with the gambling...so I divorced him. I don't do unhappy for long stretches of time....too many people in the world that may be a better fit for that.
 



I'm 16 in and still standing, but I can tell you all somethings. From what I've been through and what I've seen with those couples that started out with us, but have fallen to the waste side. And this is not to put no one down, cause I know all marriages/relationships are different. But there are things that blindside couples and knock the wind out of them. How do you bounce back? That is the question and key. And that is where I try to help couples and people in their lives. How to stand strong.
 
chocalate_topaz said:
Not my experience...was good at least to year 11...then the gambling set in.....and all those things that go with the gambling...so I divorced him. I don't do unhappy for long stretches of time....too many people in the world that may be a better fit for that.
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So, those flags wasn't there or did you just ignore them until you just couldn't anymore?
 
The Founder said:
Man my wife is cool...she's an introvert and likes privacy but will talk your fucking head off!!!!



My response would have been, "I could never stand that bitch she always got some shit going on. I don't go around her...she ain't no good." LOL.....



For real bruh.....cats got that bad trying to be hard. Every time you see them they got some fast food in their hand or always out and about. Them cats wife ain't happy so they make it worse by leaving and saying fuck it. Cat can't get a divorce cause they got kids and the child support will eat him up plus they own a home so he screwed. Instead of just being agreeable they keep their wife upset. no sir....my wife don't like some shit...I don't like it. when my wife try on something and ask how it looks I say I like it...here's an example:

Wife: Baby how you like this outfit.
Me: I love it
Wife: I don't like it..it makes me look fat.
Me: Baby you not fat they just made some fucked up material. I bet it's cheap.
Wife: Yea you right what about this one I like it.
Me: I like that also it's made out of better material.
Wife: Ok baby I'm getting it.

See....that happened this weekend.

My wife for some odd reason likes to sleep with a fan on. Yes a fucking fan. Like the old folks have on the porch. I hate that shit. Does she know it....hell no...my ass went and bought some sleep aid and that fan does not bother me. She happy and ain't mad.

I told our son, "look clean up the house first thing in the morning and you know what time you mom will get home...when you hear her car just go in the kitchen and get a clorox wipe and start wiping the counters or something." That little negro got it down packed, wife comes home sees a neat house and he working she sit down and relax.

Happy wife happy home. Cats goin learn. Best thing in the world is TIVO. I'm watching TV..my wife say something I pause the TV. At that moment I don't care if she is saying there are six monkeys farting cotton balls on a pigeon. I'm going to pay full attention. Happy wife happy home. My wife is a nurse and on her feet all day. I iron her scrubs for her. All she has to do is hand them up and put the ones she wants to wear in front. Hell I done got smart she has tennis shoes for every color of scrubs hell I put them out by the scrubs. Next thing I know she making black eyed peas, jiffy corn bread with honey, baked chicken, and some of them cut red potatoes and done fixed my plate. Happy wife happy home.
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Found, is this your First wife? You domesticated like a muugggg.
 
I've had 4 other couples that got married around the same time as me and my wife. All of us are friends. Now, only me and my wife and another couple is still standing. And that couple is going strong. The lady is from Greenville and my homie from Shreveport.
 
Blacknbengal said:
So, those flags wasn't there or did you just ignore them until you just couldn't anymore?
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When I saw the first flags--He was working but I wasn't; we'd just moved to MS but when I got the statement EVERY DAY, he went by the bank and took out $20-$40. EVERY day he worked. We weren't hurting for money, I just like to know what the deal is. Then he started staying out later and later --now this is before cell phones--so I'm sitting up waiting and worried. And he was real funky about giving me money...I finally opened up a separate account , and heeded the voice in my head that said, "It's time to go back to work". I did that...then I found out he'd been getting money out of the savings...have cleaned out our son's savings when I moved it out of ours...I asked, fussed, cussed...until that day I got that phone call. He'd been laid off for 10 months...I thought he was looking for work....

But God shows you when you are done. I'd just finished my camp and took 2 weeks off. I realized that when I got up--no matter the time--he was just getting up. Then the phone call day, I'd tried to change the channel that morning...he told me, "Don't change it, A Different World comes on next." He had a ROUTINE...he wasn't out looking for work. While I was working on some real estate, my dad was on the phone cause he said he didn't understand why they wouldn't hire him: college educated, had a stationary engineer certification, not a drug user....so he gets on the phone thne starts yelling for me to get on it. The lady from the Unemployment office said this: "Your husband has missed FIVE appts for good jobs. Mr. Tillman,you can call down here repeatedly but until he comes to the interview, you are wasting your breathe. In addition, he didn't sign up for veterans preference."

I felt like somebody kicked me in the chest. He was living good...off of me.

So, I went home, had one of the most painful arguments ever in which some really ugly things were said...and I asked him to leave. He did...and I have to say, the peace that descended when he drove off was something else...I FELT it lift off...I divorced him and wished him well....It was the right thing to do...we'd moved past reconciliation--though we did try once. Waste of time...and I don't want to waste my time anymore...
 
Blacknbengal said:
What happens? Reality sets in and the newness of things wears off. Then you're looking at the woman/man wondering who is this I married. You see that is when masks are taking off, red flags are now bright red lights, and life ask you are you a duck or are you a buck.
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Have to agree with you on this. Being complacent is what happens. Then either the man/woman stop exploring to make it happen with the other. That 7 year itch is a touch stretch because at this point you have heard all the stories that the other had to tell and then it just becomes work related items. Unless one or the other has friends into craziness. But by then you are trying to distance yourself from crazy friends so you don't even have that news to share.

Whew....it's work.

But if it's worth it you got to put the work in be it male or female.
 
Blacknbengal said:
I'm 16 in and still standing, but I can tell you all somethings. From what I've been through and what I've seen with those couples that started out with us, but have fallen to the waste side. And this is not to put no one down, cause I know all marriages/relationships are different. But there are things that blindside couples and knock the wind out of them. How do you bounce back? That is the question and key. And that is where I try to help couples and people in their lives. How to stand strong.
Click to expand...

That's some real shit there Beans!!!!
 
chocalate_topaz said:
When I saw the first flags--He was working but I wasn't; we'd just moved to MS but when I got the statement EVERY DAY, he went by the bank and took out $20-$40. EVERY day he worked. We weren't hurting for money, I just like to know what the deal is. Then he started staying out later and later --now this is before cell phones--so I'm sitting up waiting and worried. And he was real funky about giving me money...I finally opened up a separate account , and heeded the voice in my head that said, "It's time to go back to work". I did that...then I found out he'd been getting money out of the savings...have cleaned out our son's savings when I moved it out of ours...I asked, fussed, cussed...until that day I got that phone call. He'd been laid off for 10 months...I thought he was looking for work....

But God shows you when you are done. I'd just finished my camp and took 2 weeks off. I realized that when I got up--no matter the time--he was just getting up. Then the phone call day, I'd tried to change the channel that morning...he told me, "Don't change it, A Different World comes on next." He had a ROUTINE...he wasn't out looking for work. While I was working on some real estate, my dad was on the phone cause he said he didn't understand why they wouldn't hire him: college educated, had a stationary engineer certification, not a drug user....so he gets on the phone thne starts yelling for me to get on it. The lady from the Unemployment office said this: "Your husband has missed FIVE appts for good jobs. Mr. Tillman,you can call down here repeatedly but until he comes to the interview, you are wasting your breathe. In addition, he didn't sign up for veterans preference."

I felt like somebody kicked me in the chest. He was living good...off of me.

So, I went home, had one of the most painful arguments ever in which some really ugly things were said...and I asked him to leave. He did...and I have to say, the peace that descended when he drove off was something else...I FELT it lift off...I divorced him and wished him well....It was the right thing to do...we'd moved past reconciliation--though we did try once. Waste of time...and I don't want to waste my time anymore...
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I was laughing with my mom one day and I told her "Your son does not drink, smoke, club, go to the casino, is not in to clubbin, and does not run women. I just want to sit after work and enjoy my TV." My mom was like "stay that way."

I think maturity did it for me. I was engaged twice and as my sister said "I have never seen him be himself until he was with her."

So to me I found that this is me being me....
 
The Founder said:
That's some real shit there Beans!!!!
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That's because THIS is real, Founder. This isn't some love story on tv and alot of us aren't the Huxtables. Real shit happens in relationships/marriages. I can tell you what the Lord shared with me about the words, "He that findeth a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with the Lord" also. A lot of men aren't finding wives, they're finding "women " and trying to make them into wives. That dont work. A woman has to have those "wife" qualities in them before getting married, not after the wedding. And vice versa. Husbands are created before marriage, not changed into after the wedding.
 
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