Black women in the professional place vs. personal life


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Dr. Sweet NUPE said:
It has nothing to do with turning it off, toning down, holding back, or making someone work harder. It is a simple let's do this together and accept each other as is. See to me it's about accepting a person. If you are 100% sure about yourself then there is nothing that you will seek to change in someone.

Equally yoked is a magical thing that most men and women do not understand. We look at what a person has, how they look, basically searching for the negatives instead of trully enjoying the positives. The issue is knowing who you are and not have expectancies of a person. What is so forgotten in relationships is the word fun. People are acting more than living.

Also, don't start nothing you can't continue. Women, if you give that man oral sex, and being a freak all day and night. Don't stop. Men if you buying flowers don't stop. It's starts from the beginning. Also, stop running the house like it's you job. I don't love the people on my job. I work to aide those I love and that's where confusion begins.

The funny thing is we got all these people who can qoute scriptures but no one had focused on this. Interesting.
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Maybe it not a toning down thing for YOU and since you aren't one of the women they are referencing, I can understand that. However, being a strong woman, and having people ask me to "tone it down" "lay back in the cut" "let me show I'm the man" phrases, it is a problem for ME. Needless to say, those males held my attention for only a scant minute.

As far as accepting people as they are...that's what these women are showing you. Others, not themselves want an alternate ego at the house.

Firm believer in "How you start is how you will finish."

And when you find two people truly equally yoked, please post their pics. I have never seen that even with folks married 50+ years. More like they have put up with and finally one quits doing whatever to the other; gets tired.

Peep this--every woman is NOT a domestic goddess. There ARE Alpha females that do not like homey stuff. There are many women who will no longer "tone down" to just get a regular stiff one.
 
chocalate_topaz said:
And when you find two people truly equally yoked, please post their pics. I have never seen that even with folks married 50+ years. More like they have put up with and finally one quits doing whatever to the other; gets tired.
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I only have one picture of my mother and father so when I can scan it I will post it.

See the negatives in that what you stated above? Why does someone have to put up with someone. Why can't we as young people ask them how they did it for so long. My mother and father were married 37 years and dated for 2 months. Nine of those months my father was a POW, I asked my father once toward the end of his life how he and mom did it, he said, "I did it with patience and understanding, and still treating your mother as my girlfriend. Now as far as how your mother did it, that's a question you have to ask her, above all marriage is a wonderful thing son."
 



Dr. Sweet NUPE said:
I only have one picture of my mother and father so when I can scan it I will post it.

See the negatives in that what you stated above? Why does someone have to put up with someone. Why can't we as young people ask them how they did it for so long. My mother and father were married 37 years and dated for 2 months. Nine of those months my father was a POW, I asked my father once toward the end of his life how he and mom did it, he said, "I did it with patience and understanding, and still treating your mother as my girlfriend. Now as far as how your mother did it, that's a question you have to ask her, above all marriage is a wonderful thing son."
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They don't want to hear common since when it comes to dealing with men. They just want someone to support their attitude of a man being a punk for them. You can't be the boss and submissive at the same time. Maybe a dude can cooperate or make concessions here and there , but not straight become a woman's beyotch. Women need to stop choosing a companion based on educational level and bank accounts because in the the end that's not what they desire. They want a dude to make them happy with a thousand stipulations. :smh:

Oh, the term "strong black woman" back in the day meant when a woman for what ever reason had to raise or be the backbone of the family. Not trying to beat a man in every competition possible. Just be a friend, not a foe. Oh, I guess that's what y'all call "turning it down".
 
northern tiger said:
They don't want to hear common since when it comes to dealing with men. They just want someone to support their attitude of a man being a punk for them. You can't be the boss and submissive at the same time. Maybe a dude can cooperate or make concessions here and there , but not straight become a woman's beyotch. Women need to stop choosing a companion based on educational level and bank accounts because in the the end that's not what they desire. They want a dude to make them happy with a thousand stipulations. :smh:

Oh, the term "strong black woman" back in the day meant when a woman for what ever reason had to raise or be the backbone of the family. Not trying to beat a man in every competition possible. Just be a friend, not a foe. Oh, I guess that's what y'all call "turning it down".
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:lecture: Professor NT done told y'all, I guess!
 
Didn't we all argue about this a couple of months ago??? :lol:

Some people will get it...and some won't.
*shrug*


The women who are able to achieve that balance are the ones more likely to find happiness in their personal relationship. :)



*Cue Ntelekt's "Dancing" Analogy...*
 



J4J said:
Not you Nnnnny! Wrong thread actually, but it still applies. :D


:angel2:
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See? :lmao:

I mean, lets take you for example...

For a LOOONG time, you pretty much only depended on YOU, right?
But once you got married you realized that you no longer had to do it all alone (nor should you try).

You even admitted that it was a rough transition to make, but you've done it...and it has made things flow more easily, correct?

That's all I'M saying. :D


Those who don't conforming and adjust are the ones who have the most problems.
I guess its easy to always have it your way when you're by yourself. :swink:
 
J4J said:
Don't knock being by yourself. Some get married and then wish they were by themselves. I'm just saying... :kiss:
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But those that do don't typically do it because of being able to "dance together" successfully.
It's usually for OTHER reasons! :D

Being by yourself can be cool, but please don't think that some who claim that they'd rather be by themselves have no choice! :swink:

But I hear ya, tho.....:lol:
 
Ntelekt said:
But those that do don't typically do it because of being able to "dance together" successfully.
It's usually for OTHER reasons! :D

Being by yourself can be cool, but please don't think that some who claim that they'd rather be by themselves have no choice! :swink:

But I hear ya, tho.....:lol:
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Of course everyone has choices. Life is a series of choices. It is a matter of when or if they decide to make the right choice for themselves.
 
northern tiger said:
They don't want to hear common since when it comes to dealing with men. They just want someone to support their attitude of a man being a punk for them. You can't be the boss and submissive at the same time. Maybe a dude can cooperate or make concessions here and there , but not straight become a woman's beyotch. Women need to stop choosing a companion based on educational level and bank accounts because in the the end that's not what they desire. They want a dude to make them happy with a thousand stipulations. :smh:

Oh, the term "strong black woman" back in the day meant when a woman for what ever reason had to raise or be the backbone of the family. Not trying to beat a man in every competition possible. Just be a friend, not a foe. Oh, I guess that's what y'all call "turning it down".
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Don't know a woman alive that wants a punk azzed man. But we ALL want to be accepted how we truly are. And as far as being submissive...many women aren't. That's the part I think folks don't get. It's not pushed down...the submissive gene wasn't there in the first place.

NT, I was married for 17 years so I know all about backbone, front bones and bullshat bones. It is what it is and I guess i'm at the take me how I truly am...or keep stepping. I ain't crying about nothing or nobody.
 
True!

Ntelekt said:
The women who are able to achieve that balance are the ones more likely to find happiness in their personal relationship. :)
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**Light Bulb Moment!** :tup: :bowdown: :tup:
 
Re: True!

Dr. Sweet NUPE said:
So Fortitude you know how to achieve that balance?
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I've learned the IMPORTANCE of SEEKING this type of balance if you want to have a successful relationship/marriage and embrace principles that lead to that level of unity/harmony/happiness/fulfillment.
 
Re: True!

Fortitude said:
I've learned the IMPORTANCE of SEEKING this type of balance if you want to have a successful relationship/marriage and embrace principles that lead to that level of unity/harmony/happiness/fulfillment.
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Nice pretty answer.
 
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