96lioness
QUEEN LIONESS!!!
Dearest JSU alum,
Greetings!
I just wanted to let all of you know how impressive the Jackson State University Tigers football program has been these past few decades. It takes a true dedicated commitment to establish such an astute and nationally-recognized football team and keep it successful for 100 years. The best of the best performed on the Jackson State University Tiger Stadium field (formerly Veterans Memorial), and have contributed not only to the JSU athletics, but to the sport of football itself. The JSU Tigers are never to be taken lightly, and have always been a force to reckon with, and are ready to take back the #1 spot in the Eastern Conference and finish their season as being the lead in the Conference. We, at the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff, wish them the best in 2017.
However, there is one game that particularly concerns me, and that game takes place this Saturday. Normally, I wish JSU all the best in their games, and I still do. But this Saturday, I almost regret that I hope the following will take place:
I hope your team loses
I hope JSU athletics and alum allow former JSU coach Harold Jackson to visit the sideline. I hope he’s the honorary water boy. I hope his diuretic pills “accidentally” fall into the water cooler. I hope they dissolve. I hope every JSU football player drinks the water from the water cooler.
I hope your team loses
I hope, in a panic, Harold Jackson realizes his mistake and he tries to empty the water cooler. I hope his dentures fall in the water cooler in the process.
I hope your team loses
I hope your QB sees Harold Jackson’s dentures fall in the water just as he’s about to take a drink; I hope your QB gets a bad case of gagging that every time he throws the ball or tries to run the ball, the sight of Harold Jackson’s dentures floating in that water cooler comes to his remembrance and he gags himself silly.
I hope your team loses
I hope the Lord God in Heaven will bless us with good sunshiny weather. I hope He has the sun so brilliant that it makes it difficult for the JSU football team to see every time they have possession. I hope the offense cannot score. But whenever UAPB has possession, I hope the Lord sends a tiny cloud to cover the sun, shading and cooling the field, and brings the tiniest breeze, whispering good coaching instruction to our boys, and that my boys will effectively and successfully score EVERY SINGLE TIME we have possession (even on JSU turnovers). I hope the JSU defense gets confused by this and misses their blocks, tackles.
I hope your team loses
While it highly likely that none of these things will happen, I only wanted to convey to you all what I hope for. I will be sad if the JSU Tigers win this Saturday, but I'll only be sad for that day, and then I'll go back to wishing you all the best this season.
Hoping you all have a good week,
96lioness
Greetings!
I just wanted to let all of you know how impressive the Jackson State University Tigers football program has been these past few decades. It takes a true dedicated commitment to establish such an astute and nationally-recognized football team and keep it successful for 100 years. The best of the best performed on the Jackson State University Tiger Stadium field (formerly Veterans Memorial), and have contributed not only to the JSU athletics, but to the sport of football itself. The JSU Tigers are never to be taken lightly, and have always been a force to reckon with, and are ready to take back the #1 spot in the Eastern Conference and finish their season as being the lead in the Conference. We, at the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff, wish them the best in 2017.
However, there is one game that particularly concerns me, and that game takes place this Saturday. Normally, I wish JSU all the best in their games, and I still do. But this Saturday, I almost regret that I hope the following will take place:
I hope your team loses
I hope JSU athletics and alum allow former JSU coach Harold Jackson to visit the sideline. I hope he’s the honorary water boy. I hope his diuretic pills “accidentally” fall into the water cooler. I hope they dissolve. I hope every JSU football player drinks the water from the water cooler.
I hope your team loses
I hope, in a panic, Harold Jackson realizes his mistake and he tries to empty the water cooler. I hope his dentures fall in the water cooler in the process.
I hope your team loses
I hope your QB sees Harold Jackson’s dentures fall in the water just as he’s about to take a drink; I hope your QB gets a bad case of gagging that every time he throws the ball or tries to run the ball, the sight of Harold Jackson’s dentures floating in that water cooler comes to his remembrance and he gags himself silly.
I hope your team loses
I hope the Lord God in Heaven will bless us with good sunshiny weather. I hope He has the sun so brilliant that it makes it difficult for the JSU football team to see every time they have possession. I hope the offense cannot score. But whenever UAPB has possession, I hope the Lord sends a tiny cloud to cover the sun, shading and cooling the field, and brings the tiniest breeze, whispering good coaching instruction to our boys, and that my boys will effectively and successfully score EVERY SINGLE TIME we have possession (even on JSU turnovers). I hope the JSU defense gets confused by this and misses their blocks, tackles.
I hope your team loses
While it highly likely that none of these things will happen, I only wanted to convey to you all what I hope for. I will be sad if the JSU Tigers win this Saturday, but I'll only be sad for that day, and then I'll go back to wishing you all the best this season.
Hoping you all have a good week,
96lioness
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