What Makes A Woman Run Away From A man?

[PVSAX99]

I definitely saw this. Got to a point where I could barely talk to my mother without getting that "Leave and cleave" Bible verse quoted to me. On the flip side, we couldn't make a decision without her parents being consulted by her. Contributing factor to that relationship ending.

And that is when you hit them with the "Wives submit to their husband" Bible verse(s). That will either shut them up or start an argument...:lol:

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Thought of some more:

Have a STD
Unable to put me first over his mama (when married)Shows signs of mistreating his own mother--cussing her, dissing her, gets phyical with her (pushing, shoving) when upset
Has a lot of kids by different mothers...
His sex is a bust (sorry, but I like good sex guys. got to bring your A game)

Since this is MY thought, I tell you how I think it should go--pretty much like DrGSU typed. I believe in MUTUAL respect as well as people understanding and knowing their roles. BF/GF shouldn't ever dictate or have a say in your mother/father relationship. Spouses should have PLENTY of say about what happens in their marriage.

Putting your mother over me says: I don't count here.

I'm not gonna fugg, suck, spend my time/money/energy on someone who thinks like this about me no day of the year. If you can't hear me, wanna consider what I say/think/want--->stay with your moma. I'll be damned If I'm bringing my 100% into the relationship for you to discount it back to 20%.

And some of y'all need to married FIRST before you enter into these types of discussion tangents. :tup:

 

[PVSAX99]

Since this is MY thought, I tell you how I think it should go--pretty much like DrGSU typed. I believe in MUTUAL respect as well as people understanding and knowing their roles. BF/GF shouldn't ever dictate or have a say in your mother/father relationship. Spouses should have PLENTY of say about what happens in their marriage.

Putting your mother over me says: I don't count here.

I'm not gonna fugg, suck, spend my time/money/energy on someone who thinks like this about me no day of the year. If you can't hear me, wanna consider what I say/think/want--->stay with your moma. I'll be damned If I'm bringing my 100% into the relationship for you to discount it back to 20%.

And some of y'all need to married FIRST before you enter into these types of discussion tangents. :tup:

How come? Single folks go into relationships just like married folks, and a lot of the problems are the same, whether married or not. Besides, when (if) I marry, I'm not running out on my wife. So me being married would kinda exempt me from this conversation. But as a single man, if she can't respect the relationship I have with my mother, then she is free to move around. I will GLADLY let her go and not give it a second thought.

Does that mean that I value one's opinion over the other? No. But I will not stand by someone who doesn't respect my own...nor will I let her stand by me. You have every right to feel that your opinion doesn't count if I decide to seek the council of my mother (or father). Though that probably won't be the case, you have every right to feel the way you feel.

I understand that the bond between a husband and his wife should be stronger compared to a man and his girlfriend. So, speaking as a single man, if the signs are there that she doesn't respect the relationship between me and my mother, she is wasting her time with me. My family is tight knit. Around here, people marry INTO our family. We don't cling to our spouses and "abandon family" when times get rough.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

How come? Single folks go into relationships just like married folks, and a lot of the problems are the same, whether married or not. Besides, when (if) I marry, I'm not running out on my wife. So me being married would kinda exempt me from this conversation. But as a single man, if she can't respect the relationship I have with my mother, then she is free to move around. Does that mean that I value one's opinion over the other? No. But I will not stand by someone who doesn't respect my own...nor will I let her stand by me.

A single relationship is NEVER like a marriage no matter how many times you say it. I've already said, the BF/GF shouldn't have a say in the mother/father dynamics. AT that stage, those dynamics are viewed from a distance and a conclusion is made by the GF/BF as usually something to be admired/wished for or hated and either way, you'll know what you have ahead of time.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

You can't be in a good marriage and abandon family. However you and your spouse CAN close ranks, keep it between you guys and make it through a storm without any outside influence.

ANYONE, male or female that spends time trying to seperate you from your family is a control freak and should probably be avoided as spouse material. It won't end well.

And you are correct--bail on the chump/chick that isn't YOU oriented.

 

[CriTAUcal]

Since this is MY thought, I tell you how I think it should go--pretty much like DrGSU typed. I believe in MUTUAL respect as well as people understanding and knowing their roles. BF/GF shouldn't ever dictate or have a say in your mother/father relationship. Spouses should have PLENTY of say about what happens in their marriage.

Putting your mother over me says: I don't count here.

I'm not gonna fugg, suck, spend my time/money/energy on someone who thinks like this about me no day of the year. If you can't hear me, wanna consider what I say/think/want--->stay with your moma. I'll be damned If I'm bringing my 100% into the relationship for you to discount it back to 20%.


And some of y'all need to married FIRST before you enter into these types of discussion tangents. :tup:

:clap: :tup: :clap: :tup: especially to what's in red!

 

[CriTAUcal]

A single relationship is NEVER like a marriage no matter how many times you say it.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't care how up close/serious relationship is with your SO or how much you see into the marriages of your family and friends, you will NEVER, EVER-EVER truly KNOW marriage until you're in it for yourself. You think know you and don't have a clue.

 

[JagGrad]

I agree.. Marriage is on a whole different Plane than a LTR....

As I discussed with someone...Yeah Im a Momma's boy... However, when it came to my relationship... my mother was always objective and remained out of the picture... Also, My parents knew.. what went on in my home was my business. They are to NEVER interfere in that part of my life.

 

[DR. GSUAKA93]

I agree.. Marriage is on a whole different Plane than a LTR....

As I discussed with someone...Yeah Im a Momma's boy... However, when it came to my relationship... my mother was always objective and remained out of the picture... Also, My parents knew.. what went on in my home was my business. They are to NEVER interfere in that part of my life.

That in bold is what is meant by leave and cleave IMO... It has nothing to do with loving and respecting your mother. You should always do that (both men and women) because they brought you into this world and cared for you when you couldn't care for yourself... BUT - your wife is your NOW help... Your mom was your help when you couldn't help yourself... My mom (God rest her precious soul) was quick to tell my brothers, that THEY were married to THEIR wives - not to her... Her raising days were DONE. Now she never stopped loving them or praying for them. But she did understand that there wasn't no way in Hades she was gonna let my grandmother, her mother - in - law, come in (uninvited) and try to overstep her bounds in my moma's house... And I'm the same way... I love my mother-in - law dearly... In fact we hold a lot of the same beliefs. She is sweet, kind and has a lot of wisdom from which I can draw. Howsinever...... She can't come in my house and tell me how to do NOTHING - UNLESS I ASK for the assistance. AND my husband need not get into a "heated fellowship" with me and then try to tell me what thus saith his moma. Because, point blank, she don't live here. She ain't washing his clothes, cooking his food, raising his children, cleaning his house, contributing financially to the family unit and providing all the "other" wifely duties.... And you know what? His moma feels the same exact way.

Also, to say all women are this way or that way is just flawed logic.... That would be the equivalent of saying all men are dogs.

 

[chocalate_topaz]

I agree.. Marriage is on a whole different Plane than a LTR....

As I discussed with someone...Yeah Im a Momma's boy... However, when it came to my relationship... my mother was always objective and remained out of the picture... Also, My parents knew.. what went on in my home was my business. They are to NEVER interfere in that part of my life.[/Quote]

That in bold is what is meant by leave and cleave IMO... It has nothing to do with loving and respecting your mother. You should always do that (both men and women) because they brought you into this world and cared for you when you couldn't care for yourself... BUT - your wife is your NOW help... Your mom was your help when you couldn't help yourself... My mom (God rest her precious soul) was quick to tell my brothers, that THEY were married to THEIR wives - not to her... Her raising days were DONE. Now she never stopped loving them or praying for them. But she did understand that there wasn't no way in Hades she was gonna let my grandmother, her mother - in - law, come in (uninvited) and try to overstep her bounds in my moma's house... And I'm the same way... I love my mother-in - law dearly... In fact we hold a lot of the same beliefs. She is sweet, kind and has a lot of wisdom from which I can draw. Howsinever...... She can't come in my house and tell me how to do NOTHING - UNLESS I ASK for the assistance. AND my husband need not get into a "heated fellowship" with me and then try to tell me what thus saith his moma. Because, point blank, she don't live here. She ain't washing his clothes, cooking his food, raising his children, cleaning his house, contributing financially to the family unit and providing all the "other" wifely duties.... And you know what? His moma feels the same exact way.

Also, to say all women are this way or that way is just flawed logic.... That would be the equivalent of saying all men are dogs.

POW! POW! :clap: Woman, if you ain't got a way with words....:bowdown:

 

[Panther88]

:read: Why do women run from relationships/marriage....

1. Past trauma - fear of getting hurt again (adultery, physical abuse, mental abuse, saw her mom/sister/aunt/friend abused at the hand of a man)...
2. Enjoys independence (she got her own car,money, house, etc.)
3. Doesn't do crazy...

Just my thoughts.

As for the other argument going on in this thread... I hear the men say that they don't agree with placing their wife in a position of priority because women are users and such... Aren't your moms women? So are they (your moms) users too? Did your dad NOT put your mom in a position of priority? Do you follow in his footsteps? Did your dad defer to HIS mom rather than to YOUR mom in decisions concerning family? If he did are they still together? I'm not trying to pick sides at all....I would seriously like to know the answers to these questions... Because marriage and creating a family unit takes work. sacrifice and committment if it is to last...

DR GSU, ask J C since it's his belief that males want to fukk their momma since we put them on a pedastal. :tup:

Get it J C. :emlaugh: :happydance:

 

[CriTAUcal]

That in bold is what is meant by leave and cleave IMO... It has nothing to do with loving and respecting your mother. You should always do that (both men and women) because they brought you into this world and cared for you when you couldn't care for yourself... BUT - your wife is your NOW help... Your mom was your help when you couldn't help yourself... My mom (God rest her precious soul) was quick to tell my brothers, that THEY were married to THEIR wives - not to her... Her raising days were DONE. Now she never stopped loving them or praying for them. But she did understand that there wasn't no way in Hades she was gonna let my grandmother, her mother - in - law, come in (uninvited) and try to overstep her bounds in my moma's house... And I'm the same way... I love my mother-in - law dearly... In fact we hold a lot of the same beliefs. She is sweet, kind and has a lot of wisdom from which I can draw. Howsinever...... She can't come in my house and tell me how to do NOTHING - UNLESS I ASK for the assistance. AND my husband need not get into a "heated fellowship" with me and then try to tell me what thus saith his moma. Because, point blank, she don't live here. She ain't washing his clothes, cooking his food, raising his children, cleaning his house, contributing financially to the family unit and providing all the "other" wifely duties.... And you know what? His moma feels the same exact way.

Also, to say all women are this way or that way is just flawed logic.... That would be the equivalent of saying all men are dogs.

:tup: :tup:

Please post more often!

 

[CriTAUcal]

I agree.. Marriage is on a whole different Plane than a LTR....

As I discussed with someone...Yeah Im a Momma's boy... However, when it came to my relationship... my mother was always objective and remained out of the picture... Also, My parents knew.. what went on in my home was my business. They are to NEVER interfere in that part of my life.

:tup:

 

[J C]

You can't be in a good marriage and abandon family. However you and your spouse CAN close ranks, keep it between you guys and make it through a storm without any outside influence.

ANYONE, male or female that spends time trying to seperate you from your family is a control freak and should probably be avoided as spouse material. It won't end well.

And you are correct--bail on the chump/chick that isn't YOU oriented.

Totally agree.

 

[CEE DOG]

All men are dogs. We just suppress the dog in us when we want too.

That in bold is what is meant by leave and cleave IMO... It has nothing to do with loving and respecting your mother. You should always do that (both men and women) because they brought you into this world and cared for you when you couldn't care for yourself... BUT - your wife is your NOW help... Your mom was your help when you couldn't help yourself... My mom (God rest her precious soul) was quick to tell my brothers, that THEY were married to THEIR wives - not to her... Her raising days were DONE. Now she never stopped loving them or praying for them. But she did understand that there wasn't no way in Hades she was gonna let my grandmother, her mother - in - law, come in (uninvited) and try to overstep her bounds in my moma's house... And I'm the same way... I love my mother-in - law dearly... In fact we hold a lot of the same beliefs. She is sweet, kind and has a lot of wisdom from which I can draw. Howsinever...... She can't come in my house and tell me how to do NOTHING - UNLESS I ASK for the assistance. AND my husband need not get into a "heated fellowship" with me and then try to tell me what thus saith his moma. Because, point blank, she don't live here. She ain't washing his clothes, cooking his food, raising his children, cleaning his house, contributing financially to the family unit and providing all the "other" wifely duties.... And you know what? His moma feels the same exact way.

Also, to say all women are this way or that way is just flawed logic.... That would be the equivalent of saying all men are dogs.