Is it Safe...How Long To Wait


Bighead

Bighead

Well-Known Member
before messing with a divorcee...chick just got out of a marriage and she's feeling your persona..Is it a good idea to befriend this chick...

I'm not asking how long to wait until you smash the chick..but how long or if it's even a thought time frame before you start dealing with this chick..going over to her place...going out and kicking it with her in public...etc

She says everythings cool lol...but she tells you that her hubby was very violent with her...

Ladies how long would you wait to kick with a guy that has just came out of a divorce
Same thing...He's says he's pass his ex-wife's dealings, but he goes on to tell you how strange and crazy she was in the marriage.
 
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Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Bighead said:
before messing with a divorcee...chick just got out of a marriage and she's feeling your persona..Is it a good idea to befriend this chick...

I'm not asking how long to wait until you smash the chick..but how long or if it's even a thought time frame before you start dealing with this chick..going over to her place...going out and kicking it with her in public...etc

She says everythings cool lol...but she tells you that her hubby was very violent with her...

Ladies how long would you wait to kick with a guy that has just came out of a divorce
Same thing...He's says he's pass his ex-wife's dealings, but he goes on to tell you how strange and crazy she was in the marriage.
Click to expand...

I was in that situation years ago when I lived out west. I was hanging out and smashing this sister that was going through a divorce. I actually didn't know until we had gone out a few times and she finally told me she was going through a divorce. She said her ex was abusive. He never approached me though. We never dated, but she liked to cling on to me. I had to cut ties with her. Maybe she was using me as a rebound or sex relief. I really don't know. I would say be careful. Sometimes things may not end as peaceful.
 



Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

buckwheat1911 said:
I was in that situation years ago when I lived out west. I was hanging out and smashing this sister that was going through a divorce. I actually didn't know until we had gone out a few times and she finally told me she was going through a divorce. She said her ex was abusive. He never approached me though. We never dated, but she liked to cling on to me. I had to cut ties with her. Maybe she was using me as a rebound or sex relief. I really don't know. I would say be careful. Sometimes things may not end as peaceful.
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Did you guys ever see the ex out in public???

Yea mayne that's why i'm askin.. I mean I aint a punk..but in B.R. naggas is crazy...well naggas crazy every where but dude will kill you 1st and then the woman and then themselves lol...


Why you cut ties cuz...
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

That's a case-by-case situation. Some people are ready to date BEFORE the divorce is finalized. :lol: Some need a little more time.

If her divorced is finalized, you can start "befriending" her now. But if she's coming out of an abused marriage, you need to tread lightly and make sure she's been healed from that. Ask her if she's sought counseling. You might not wanna get intimate so quickly with someone who may be in a fragile state. It may be just "smashing" to you but could mean more to her. So you need to have some conversations with her about the level of the relationship between the two of you.
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Bighead said:
Did you guys ever see the ex out in public???

Yea mayne that's why i'm askin.. I mean I aint a punk..but in B.R. naggas is crazy...well naggas crazy every where but dude will kill you 1st and then the woman and then themselves lol...


Why you cut ties cuz...
Click to expand...


The guy was in the Military at the time, but I never saw or met him. We cut ties because she wanted more than just sex. She would pop up at my apartment unannouced sometimes. She constantly called me. I got tired of her really, so I just cut ties.
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

buckwheat1911 said:
I was in that situation years ago when I lived out west. I was hanging out and smashing this sister that was going through a divorce. I actually didn't know until we had gone out a few times and she finally told me she was going through a divorce. She said her ex was abusive. He never approached me though. We never dated, but she liked to cling on to me. I had to cut ties with her. Maybe she was using me as a rebound or sex relief. I really don't know. I would say be careful. Sometimes things may not end as peaceful.
Click to expand...


She was. :lol:
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

buckwheat1911 said:
I was in that situation years ago when I lived out west. I was hanging out and smashing this sister that was going through a divorce. I actually didn't know until we had gone out a few times and she finally told me she was going through a divorce. She said her ex was abusive. He never approached me though. We never dated, but she liked to cling on to me. I had to cut ties with her. Maybe she was using me as a rebound or sex relief. I really don't know. I would say be careful. Sometimes things may not end as peaceful.
Click to expand...

funny how you say you guys never dated, but
you were smashing.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I thought you dated to smash
Seems like everyone is smashing now-a-days but no one is dating
I'm confused.
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Stop trying to put rules/boundaries on shyt...

Just b/c she's a divorcee doesn't mean she's "timid". Shucks you can date/smash a single chick and she can be clingy/crazy.

Just have fun. If you enjoy her company and want to go on a date, then do it. If you see signs that she's crazy/clingy...then roll.

Shyt you worried about her, you might be the problem. :lol:
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

CriTAUcal said:
That's a case-by-case situation. Some people are ready to date BEFORE the divorce is finalized. :lol: Some need a little more time.

If her divorced is finalized, you can start "befriending" her now. But if she's coming out of an abused marriage, you need to tread lightly and make sure she's been healed from that. Ask her if she's sought counseling. [B]You might not wanna get intimate so quickly with someone who may be in a fragile state.[/B] It may be just "smashing" to you but could mean more to her. So you need to have some conversations with her about the level of the relationship between the two of you.
Click to expand...

Lol that's the thing...I was going into the situation as a buddy... a cool friend...and now...late night texts asking me to come over...(hard to not smash layin next to somebody)... inviting me to early church services...and I"m like "Whoa Kimosabe" I thought I was a friend...
Is this a phase divorcee women go through...
We have had convos about our situation...well not deep ones.. I call her "friend" when I address her lol.....
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Bighead said:
before messing with a divorcee...chick just got out of a marriage and she's feeling your persona..Is it a good idea to befriend this chick...

I'm not asking how long to wait until you smash the chick..but how long or if it's even a thought time frame before you start dealing with this chick..going over to her place...going out and kicking it with her in public...etc

She says everythings cool lol...but she tells you that her hubby was very violent with her...

Ladies how long would you wait to kick with a guy that has just came out of a divorce
Same thing...He's says he's pass his ex-wife's dealings, but he goes on to tell you how strange and crazy she was in the marriage.
Click to expand...

Are kids involved?
Does she have a high sex drive?
Is he Still around?

Some women can move on to a good dude, and remain in a state of appreciation and
contentment

but others will always pine for and maybe even still smash their
azzhole ex.

Find out quickly what you have on your hands
and you'll know how to proceed.
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Tony said:
funny how you say you guys never dated, but
you were smashing.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I thought you dated to smash
Seems like everyone is smashing now-a-days but no one is dating
I'm confused.
Click to expand...

No, I was strickly smashing. This sister was beautiful too. During that time of my life, I wasn't trying to date. I just wanted to sow my wild oats.
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

southsuburbs said:
Stop trying to put rules/boundaries on shyt...

Just b/c she's a divorcee doesn't mean she's "timid". Shucks you can date/smash a single chick and she can be clingy/crazy.

Just have fun. If you enjoy her company and want to go on a date, then do it. If you see signs that she's crazy/clingy...then roll.

Shyt you worried about her, you might be the problem. :lol:
Click to expand...

*sigh*
you don't get it...you don't have a penis...it's very different when dealing with a situation like this lol
 



Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Tony said:
Are kids involved?
Does she have a high sex drive?
Is he Still around?

Some women can move on to a good dude, and remain in a state of appreciation and
contentment

but others will always pine for and maybe even still smash their
azzhole ex.

Find out quickly what you have on your hands
and you'll know how to proceed.
Click to expand...

No kids cuz
don't know about her sex drive..but I did lick her neck on our first date lol...
I haven't seen dude before...actually real talk.. I just met her through a friend last Friday...

I just don't want her to become attached to me like a bf or something... I see it forming and if I say something I feel that I want be able to smash...
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

southsuburbs said:
:smh:

And ya'll say women are complicated and dramatic...
Click to expand...

I mean if a dude comes at you..just got out of his marriage and he's coming on strong too you...but you think dude is cool or whatnot and you just wanna keep it that way...
u heard dude say the woman is somewhat crazy...she would key his shat up

He moved his stuff while she's at work hmmm all in one day.. come on??
How do you handle this situation
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Bighead said:
No kids cuz
don't know about her sex drive..but I did lick her neck on our first date lol...
I haven't seen dude before...actually real talk.. I just met her through a friend last Friday...

I just don't want her to become attached to me like a bf or something... I see it forming and if I say something I feel that I want be able to smash...
Click to expand...

:goof:
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

Bighead said:
I mean if a dude comes at you..just got out of his marriage and he's coming on strong too you...but you think dude is cool or whatnot and you just wanna keep it that way...
u heard dude say the woman is somewhat crazy...she would key his shat up

He moved his stuff while she's at work hmmm all in one day.. come on??
How do you handle this situation
Click to expand...

I wouldn't even have asked about his ex-wife dealings, and if he chose to spend the time he's with ME to talk about that...then I probably wouldn't continue to talk to him b/c I aint trying to hear about all that when we first meet.

I can understand why he would share he's divorced. No problem.
But to go all into details that he moved out while she was at work...I don't give a fugg about all that. :lol:
 
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Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

southsuburbs said:
He scared of the divorced puddin!! :lol:
Click to expand...

Sounds like he been hanging with kendrick. Now we got tony being all sensitive, kendrick not liking puddin and big head scared of chicks. Lawd this is a soap drama
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

luvdaboom said:
so u licked her neck on the first date?? u a vampire or something
Click to expand...

:lol:
He was licking her neck but staring with eyes wide open all around making sure her ex didn't come out the bushes!!

Y'all need a men's forum!!
 
Re: Is it Safe...How Long To Wait...

southsuburbs said:
I wouldn't even have asked about his ex-wife dealings, and if he chose to spend the time he's with ME to talk about that...then I probably wouldn't continue to talk to him b/c I aint trying to hear about all that when we first meet.

You divorced? Okay.
But to go all into details that he moved out while she was at work...I don't give a fugg about all that. :lol:
Click to expand...

Lol I feel you...but it just came up.. I like to know folks business and shat lol... I want details on how yo shat gotta out hand
and after I asked about the divorce..well she told me.. it was like a trigger..she spilled all that shat out lol.. I was like okkkkkkk
 
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