jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
This past Sunday, I returned to my childhood church to speak to a few of our 2012 high school graduates about what it would take to be successful in college and in life in general. It was opportunity that I cherished and actually envisioned a few months before I was asked to do it. As I prepared my speaking points for this occasion, I thought about what I wish someone would have told me when I entered college 9 years ago. I looked at the people who came out of undergraduate on top of their game, those who flew from college to their careers at warp speed. I looked at those like myself who stumbled some in college but finished strong and were eventually able to turn the tides of their life. Last, I looked at those who did not finish for whatever reason. Those hit by unfortunate circumstances, those who flat out quit, and those who could not seem to fight through school. I came up with five principles for success and I decided to share for anyone else that may be interested.
1. Surround yourself with like-minded people, build a team.
“There is no such thing as a neutral relationship, everyone you associate with will either push you towards greatness or pull you towards the gutter, there is no in betweenâ€-Eric Thomas, The Secret to Success
Early in our life, we tend make friends based on common associations. We befriend people from our neighborhoods, people we rode the bus with, extended family members, teammates, etc. As you advance in life, you will find that you will naturally navigate towards people with whom, you share common interests. However, no one wants to be accused of “acting brand new†or selling out by disassociating their self with the very people who were there for them when they were still “Jenny or Jimmy from the blockâ€. However, you have to realize that the people you surround yourself with will have intended and unintended influence on your life and decisions. If you plan to be ambitious and driven, you need to surround yourself with people who are also ambitious and driven. If you plan to advance your life, then you need to surround yourself with people who have plans to advance their life also. You need people around you that you know you can trust their advice (atleast the majority of the time) because you will inevitably go to your friends and peers for advice more often than you realize.
There are people whom you will meet in college who care more about partying, drinking, and getting high than they do, graduating. I am not saying that you can’t befriend these people, but you need to limit the amount of time you spend with them and avoid rooming with students who are compulsive alcoholics or serious drug addicts. Look for some friends who are doing well in class, going to class, getting internships, etc. Your networks will combine and you will be glad you did it in the long run.
There are some people in your circle at this very moment that you need to throw out. You have some classmates that you need to send a facebook message tonight that says, I will see you at the class reunion. Some of you are in relationships right now that you need to end (probably most of you) because that relationship will only hinder your growth and development. There are some relatives that you need to tell that you can’t make their 19th or 21st birthday trip to Panama City because you are about to be busy. Look, we all have certain people in our circles who are ultimately bad influences on us because we care about them for one reason or another but I am telling you that you need to keep the number of these people at a minimum.
2. Develop a vision for your life, learn how to focus.
“Where there is no vision, people perish…â€-Proverbs 29:18 KJV
There is a big difference between having sight and having a vision. Sight simply means that you can see things which are readily visible to the naked eye; Vision is when you can see things which are not. Sight allows us to know where we are, vision allows one to know where they are going. You need to begin developing a vision for your life if you haven’t already. You need to start thinking about a vision for your life. What do you want your life to look like in 5 years? 10 years? I can tell you that it should not look exactly like it does today. Many people confuse a vision and a dream. A dream is simply a collection of thoughts about something you would like to do. A vision is a detailed account of what you are planning to do and what steps you will take to get there.
However, a vision holds no value if you do not learn to focus. In college, there will be more than a fair share of distractions. There will be plenty of parties, members of the opposite sex and reasons to miss class. I am not telling you to sit in a bubble because I believe that having fun is part of the collegiate experience but never take your eyes off the prize. There is a reason that Jockey’s put blinders on their horses. It is so that the horse can focus on the finish line and ignore unnecessary distractions around them. The goal for the horse is to simply get from point A to point B in as fast a time as possible. Your job is to finish college in the next four years with the highest GPA and most connections possible. Some programs will require more time and other factors may delay graduation but as long as you are up and running, you need to run as fast as possible.
3. You must have discipline
“We must have disciplineâ€- The Devil’s Double
One of the most important principles in life, is discipline. The lack of discipline has led to the downfall of many men and women. It is the reason that we see so many athletes and entertainers filing for bankruptcy after making millions of dollars during their career. Discipline is the force that allows a man or woman to stick to his or her principles. It enables a person to make the sacrifices that are required for success in this world. Whether you are joining the military, going out for a sports team or trying to join a Greek letter organization, the first lesson you will learn is discipline. Discipline is what will enable you to get up for that 8 am class. It will enable you to leave a party early in order to make it to a bed at a decent time. No one is trying to turn you into a cyborg, but a little discipline goes a long way.
4. Faith
“You must believe in the Dark, what the creator told you in the lightâ€-Eric Thomas, Thank God It’s Monday, Season 3
Faith is the bedrock of any religion, team sport and of life in general. Faith is the very thing that keeps us believing in our vision when all other indicators point to failure. The book of Hebrews in the bible describes faith as the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. In short, faith is the principal that lets you know that your hard work will pay off. Without some sort of faith, it will be impossible for you to keep the grind going that is required for you to accomplish success in your life. There are times in college that things will get rough. More than likely, you will not breeze through every class with flying colors. Some of you may end up pregnant or may get someone pregnant half way through your program. Some of you may find yourself in bleak situations. Trust me; things can get dark, very dark. You have to believe that if you keep pushing, if you keep putting your best foot forward, that things will change. If you keep studying, keep meeting with tutors, stay up late at night researching information or practicing your writing skills that things will get better. If you don’t believe that things will get better, more than likely, you will quit. This brings me to my last point.
5. Never quit
“Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouthâ€-Mike Tyson
When a reporter asked my Mike Tyson about an opponent’s plan to deal with his famous left hook during a pre-fight interview, Mike famously said that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Now, Mike Tyson has never been confused for a philosophical heavyweight but this statement was a moment of accidental genius. You are at a point in life where you want to take over the world. You probably feel like you have your entire life ahead of you and the world can be yours. Guess what, you are correct. However, remember that the homeless guy who sleeps on the bench downtown at night once had similar dreams and somewhere along the way, life punched him in the mouth. Life inevitably punches us all in the mouth. How you respond, will ultimately determine how you succeed. How do you respond if your one of your parents dies during the middle of a semester? What happens when you get hit will determine how far you go.
One day after a particularly hot august football practice in college, I and a few other teammates fell to the ground grasping for air while running sprints. My runningback coach looked down at us and said, “If you are going to lay here and quit, you may as well lay here and die, because you will be a worthless human being for the rest of your life, you will quit everytime life gets a little rough, you will walk out on your marriage, abandon your kids, you will spend your life as a quitter and quitters don’t deserve to live.â€
While these words may have been harsh and Mississippi summers have brought many a man to their knees, I completely understood what our coach was saying. He was simply telling us to get up and finish. That if we had to walk across that line, it would be more rewarding than laying there and giving up. I still replay those words in my head everytime I get really tired during a workout.
I still keep in touch with a few friends from college who never finished and all of them say the same thing, they wish that they would have stayed the course. Sometimes, things get hard, sometimes things seem impossible but remember, as long as you can look up, you can get up.
So to the entering freshmen of fall 2013, good luck. The world is yours.
1. Surround yourself with like-minded people, build a team.
“There is no such thing as a neutral relationship, everyone you associate with will either push you towards greatness or pull you towards the gutter, there is no in betweenâ€-Eric Thomas, The Secret to Success
Early in our life, we tend make friends based on common associations. We befriend people from our neighborhoods, people we rode the bus with, extended family members, teammates, etc. As you advance in life, you will find that you will naturally navigate towards people with whom, you share common interests. However, no one wants to be accused of “acting brand new†or selling out by disassociating their self with the very people who were there for them when they were still “Jenny or Jimmy from the blockâ€. However, you have to realize that the people you surround yourself with will have intended and unintended influence on your life and decisions. If you plan to be ambitious and driven, you need to surround yourself with people who are also ambitious and driven. If you plan to advance your life, then you need to surround yourself with people who have plans to advance their life also. You need people around you that you know you can trust their advice (atleast the majority of the time) because you will inevitably go to your friends and peers for advice more often than you realize.
There are people whom you will meet in college who care more about partying, drinking, and getting high than they do, graduating. I am not saying that you can’t befriend these people, but you need to limit the amount of time you spend with them and avoid rooming with students who are compulsive alcoholics or serious drug addicts. Look for some friends who are doing well in class, going to class, getting internships, etc. Your networks will combine and you will be glad you did it in the long run.
There are some people in your circle at this very moment that you need to throw out. You have some classmates that you need to send a facebook message tonight that says, I will see you at the class reunion. Some of you are in relationships right now that you need to end (probably most of you) because that relationship will only hinder your growth and development. There are some relatives that you need to tell that you can’t make their 19th or 21st birthday trip to Panama City because you are about to be busy. Look, we all have certain people in our circles who are ultimately bad influences on us because we care about them for one reason or another but I am telling you that you need to keep the number of these people at a minimum.
2. Develop a vision for your life, learn how to focus.
“Where there is no vision, people perish…â€-Proverbs 29:18 KJV
There is a big difference between having sight and having a vision. Sight simply means that you can see things which are readily visible to the naked eye; Vision is when you can see things which are not. Sight allows us to know where we are, vision allows one to know where they are going. You need to begin developing a vision for your life if you haven’t already. You need to start thinking about a vision for your life. What do you want your life to look like in 5 years? 10 years? I can tell you that it should not look exactly like it does today. Many people confuse a vision and a dream. A dream is simply a collection of thoughts about something you would like to do. A vision is a detailed account of what you are planning to do and what steps you will take to get there.
However, a vision holds no value if you do not learn to focus. In college, there will be more than a fair share of distractions. There will be plenty of parties, members of the opposite sex and reasons to miss class. I am not telling you to sit in a bubble because I believe that having fun is part of the collegiate experience but never take your eyes off the prize. There is a reason that Jockey’s put blinders on their horses. It is so that the horse can focus on the finish line and ignore unnecessary distractions around them. The goal for the horse is to simply get from point A to point B in as fast a time as possible. Your job is to finish college in the next four years with the highest GPA and most connections possible. Some programs will require more time and other factors may delay graduation but as long as you are up and running, you need to run as fast as possible.
3. You must have discipline
“We must have disciplineâ€- The Devil’s Double
One of the most important principles in life, is discipline. The lack of discipline has led to the downfall of many men and women. It is the reason that we see so many athletes and entertainers filing for bankruptcy after making millions of dollars during their career. Discipline is the force that allows a man or woman to stick to his or her principles. It enables a person to make the sacrifices that are required for success in this world. Whether you are joining the military, going out for a sports team or trying to join a Greek letter organization, the first lesson you will learn is discipline. Discipline is what will enable you to get up for that 8 am class. It will enable you to leave a party early in order to make it to a bed at a decent time. No one is trying to turn you into a cyborg, but a little discipline goes a long way.
4. Faith
“You must believe in the Dark, what the creator told you in the lightâ€-Eric Thomas, Thank God It’s Monday, Season 3
Faith is the bedrock of any religion, team sport and of life in general. Faith is the very thing that keeps us believing in our vision when all other indicators point to failure. The book of Hebrews in the bible describes faith as the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. In short, faith is the principal that lets you know that your hard work will pay off. Without some sort of faith, it will be impossible for you to keep the grind going that is required for you to accomplish success in your life. There are times in college that things will get rough. More than likely, you will not breeze through every class with flying colors. Some of you may end up pregnant or may get someone pregnant half way through your program. Some of you may find yourself in bleak situations. Trust me; things can get dark, very dark. You have to believe that if you keep pushing, if you keep putting your best foot forward, that things will change. If you keep studying, keep meeting with tutors, stay up late at night researching information or practicing your writing skills that things will get better. If you don’t believe that things will get better, more than likely, you will quit. This brings me to my last point.
5. Never quit
“Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouthâ€-Mike Tyson
When a reporter asked my Mike Tyson about an opponent’s plan to deal with his famous left hook during a pre-fight interview, Mike famously said that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Now, Mike Tyson has never been confused for a philosophical heavyweight but this statement was a moment of accidental genius. You are at a point in life where you want to take over the world. You probably feel like you have your entire life ahead of you and the world can be yours. Guess what, you are correct. However, remember that the homeless guy who sleeps on the bench downtown at night once had similar dreams and somewhere along the way, life punched him in the mouth. Life inevitably punches us all in the mouth. How you respond, will ultimately determine how you succeed. How do you respond if your one of your parents dies during the middle of a semester? What happens when you get hit will determine how far you go.
One day after a particularly hot august football practice in college, I and a few other teammates fell to the ground grasping for air while running sprints. My runningback coach looked down at us and said, “If you are going to lay here and quit, you may as well lay here and die, because you will be a worthless human being for the rest of your life, you will quit everytime life gets a little rough, you will walk out on your marriage, abandon your kids, you will spend your life as a quitter and quitters don’t deserve to live.â€
While these words may have been harsh and Mississippi summers have brought many a man to their knees, I completely understood what our coach was saying. He was simply telling us to get up and finish. That if we had to walk across that line, it would be more rewarding than laying there and giving up. I still replay those words in my head everytime I get really tired during a workout.
I still keep in touch with a few friends from college who never finished and all of them say the same thing, they wish that they would have stayed the course. Sometimes, things get hard, sometimes things seem impossible but remember, as long as you can look up, you can get up.
So to the entering freshmen of fall 2013, good luck. The world is yours.
