Down South Single/Married


Mr. Matriculation

Mr. Matriculation

New Member
Why is it that people in the south think something is wrong with you if you are 25 and older but not married??? I know people up north that are single successful and in there early 30's but nobody is tripping on the fact that they are not married. We need to get off of that dumb mess down here in the south. Down here folks start thinking something is wrong with a black mans character or that you are gay if you are 30 and single.
 
Let me jump in on this one

I don't see anything wrong with anybody being 30 or 30+ and still single. These days with the divorce rate being as high as it is....I'd suggest that folks stay single until they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are ready for this marriage thing. I'm speaking from experience and of what I know. Marriage is very hard and much compromise and sacrifice must be made for it to work....from both parties. It's two-way street.

I have much more respect for a brother/sister that knows he or she's not ready than to go ahead and do the dam thang just for the sake of doing so.

That's so not cool.:tdown:
 

You're not alone! Remember this though...misery loves company!

Many times you'll find the main ones push'n for you to get married are not content with their own lives and can't stand to see anyone else happy and prospering single. Just think, you can go when you please without having to consider or answer to anyone, cook, clean, get-up, go to sleep, stay-out, come in, travel, and spend money, and date @ your own leisure and pace.
All of that without having to consider anyone else.
I bet you've been told you're selfish too if you don't want any kids and you're single.

Don't fall for the drama! There's nothing wrong with being single unless you don't want to be, just like there's nothing wrong with being married, unless you don't want to be.

Marriage is a serious step. One that should not be taken lightly. I've seen enough examples of "how not to do it" in my lifetime.

Even when you're sure...you can always be surer. Wait until you're ready.

And ladies....just because he asks doesn't mean he's ready.

So many people get caught up in the :idea: of marriage.
 
Re: You're not alone! Remember this though...misery loves company!

Originally posted by aamuprettywoman

Marriage is a serious step. One that should not be taken lightly. I've seen enough examples of "how not to do it" in my lifetime.

Even when you're sure...you can always be surer. Wait until you're ready.

And ladies....just because he asks doesn't mean he's ready.

So many people get caught up in the :idea: of marriage.
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APW,

You dun sed something right there.....I almost shouted up in hea.
 
Re: You're not alone! Remember this though...misery loves company!

Originally posted by aamuprettywoman
Don't fall for the drama! There's nothing wrong with being single unless you don't want to be, just like there's nothing wrong with being married, unless you don't want to be.

Marriage is a serious step. One that should not be taken lightly. I've seen enough examples of "how not to do it" in my lifetime.

Even when you're sure...you can always be surer. Wait until you're ready.
Click to expand...
APW,
Preach Preacher!!!!

Mr. Matriculation
Don't let anyone make you feel bad, or question
your manhood, because you're cognisant
enough to know what you want, and need.
 
2 days in a row

The reason i'm even tripping is because this happened 2 days in row. I was at lunch yesterday and I saw an old college girl that had the hots for me back in the day. She was wondering why I wasn't married yet, but in the same breath she was complaining about her husband cuz he plays playstation more than he talks to her. She is also pregnant with her 2nd child. Then today at work I saw a female from a different dept. that i haven't seen in a couple of months and she was trying to fix me up to marry one of her lonely friends. But at the same time she has quit wearing her wedding ring because she says her man don't know how to act. This is a crazy world.
 
Re: You're not alone! Remember this though...misery loves company!

Originally posted by aamuprettywoman
Just think, you can go when you please without having to consider or answer to anyone, cook, clean, get-up, go to sleep, stay-out, come in, travel, and spend money, and date @ your own leisure and pace.
Click to expand...

So very true. I can't even put into words the way it feels to just be able to G-O whenever, to go shopping every Friday and "treat yourself" to something nice, to decide at the spur of the moment that you are going out of town, to keep a spic and span house without worrying about it getting messed up, to cook the food I like to eat and how I like to eat it...I can go on and on.

Note to self: I really can write a book called 2,002 Reasons to Stay Single.


I bet you've been told you're selfish too if you don't want any kids and you're single.
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When they say that, I say you know what, you're right. I might as well stay selfish until God is finished preparing me for my husband and he for me.

After having been "with myself"(as I like to call it, instead of saying "single") for as long as I have, I know I love me some me and I enjoy my space. That doesn't mean that I am against dating and marriage. It just means you gotta step correct for me to give up all the positives I am enjoying right now.
 
Imagine my dilema....

I am 33 years old....
Never been married (2 close calls )....
I have no Children (several close )....
Me and my brother have our own business...
I have lived in 4 different countries...

And guess what, some people think that I am miserable because I'm not married. I just havent found the right one yet. The last woman I thought I was gonna marry changed to a different person once we decided to tie the not....as you can see things did'nt work out. Guess what, I was right because she has been married twice since then and is now twice divorced and working on her third. I think I made the right decision in not hooking up with that "Succubus".

But what I really trip out on is these low-self esteem having hefers that think something is wrong with me because I don't have a crazy "ex" stalking me or a Platoon of Children spread across the Bible Belt. I tell people all the time, you have created a standard of acceptance when you allow yourself to be involved with individuals that belive mediocrity as the norm.

I believe that if a woman has no self-esteem then how can she respect me. If you don't love yourself then how can you love me?

I feel your pain bruh, anyone that questions your judgement as far as your age and marriage has problems with their own self-worth.
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BTW, I'm still holding out for Halle Berry :D
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That is what I get

I understand...

I was helping out the elderly about a month ago, you know reading and talking to them. Well I start talking to this gentleman around the age of 65. He asked me my age then asked me if I was married I said no and then he stated
"from the looks of your hand you are not engaged either, well you might as well give it up... ain't no man gon marry you now you are past your prime"

I wanted to laugh I was like :eek2: dang. I told him that I was not ready to get married, then he went on to say that I only had about 2 or 3 good years to have kids then it was all down hill for me from there. :rolleyes:

At that point I was like have a nice day and moved on to helping them bag the lunches... :smh: :D
 
I am 47 and will be 48 in March.
Never Married & NO Children
Have a good Job
Have a good life
God has blessed me beyond my wildest dream.

And do not worry about folks asking me, why I am not this or that.
 
I thought it was just me. I hate even going to family gatherings!!! What shut them up is when God is ready for me and my mate to join...He will send him too me. I give them the whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing scripture...and being that my immediate family are Christians...they hush...lol

I get tired of hearing from my peers that had babies...babies when they were in their teens and early twenties (majority not married)...you better go on and have you some kids now. WTF??? And be at home and can't go anywhere and do the things I want to do FREELY like them?!?!?!?!? I don't think so. APW and JSTUS, I'm with you. I can get out of my bed at 3:00 in the morning and roll out to Houston if I want. I can come home relax, cook if I want too or I can go out to eat or just eat some cereal and be happy!!! I think some criticize because they are envious of our freedom!!!

You're right...misery luuuvvvsss company. JSTUS you hit it right on the nose...I guess I'm selfish also. People think that because you are a certain age, you should have a certain lifestyle...according to theirs.

No...I don't want any children now...I'm not married. Neither do I want my partner to have children (that's a whole new story)! I'm pleased to wait on God while He prepares the way. I'm having fun and loving every minute of it!
 
You are probably getting those comments from older or more traditional people. The ideal marriage ages are probably 30-35.

I personally got married at at 24 for a couple of reasons. I always wanted to have a couple of kids by 28, so we can raise them and have them finish undergraduate school before we are 50. Thus, 50 plus would be just for me and the mrs.

Waiting til you are 30-35 lets you get most of your life situated and stable. By then, you could have made a lot of sacrifices to be successfully in business (within a company or your own). Those long hours or traveling appointments are not good for a marriage. So, waiting will keep you from having to choose between making the sacrifice for the career or for your marriage. Plus, you want be juggling as much personal life with spending time with the kids from the marriage. Also, this gives you more time to make sure you are in control of the lure of adultry.

I don't believe you should let a person that you feel is an ideal mate get away simply because you aren't 30-35. But, there isn't a need to filled rushed into doing it in the 20's.

PEACE!!!
 
AMEN!

Originally posted by BluBlood

I get tired of hearing from my peers that had babies...babies when they were in their teens and early twenties (majority not married)...you better go on and have you some kids now. WTF??? And be at home and can't go anywhere and do the things I want to do FREELY like them?!?!?!?!? I don't think so. APW and JSTUS, I'm with you. I can get out of my bed at 3:00 in the morning and roll out to Houston if I want. I can come home relax, cook if I want too or I can go out to eat or just eat some cereal and be happy!!! I think some criticize because they are envious of our freedom!!!
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Blu, you done said a mouthful. Why is it that when I go back home my classmates are always saying, "Girl what you waiting on? When you go have some kids?" "Where your man?" "We thought YOU woulda BEEN got married!" "You stop working all them hours and traveling so much you might be able to find somebody." Lawd hav' mercy on these people...

Can someone help me understand that mentality of having babies just to be having some? Did I miss that class that talked about having babies first and getting married last, if at all? Yes, I would like kids, but can I get a husband first?

Being single stopped bothering me a long time ago. Yes, I'd like someone special in my life, but OBVIOUSLY God doesn't think I'm ready for that special person yet. Obviously there are some other things I need to do before I can be ready for marriage.

Don't let it get you down Matriculation...you know yourself better than anyone else. They don't go home with you at night and they don't wake up with you in the morning. Only you know what's best for you.
 

Marriage

Marriage....been there done that!!:rolleyes:


refer back to'a old thread titled "Why Even Get Married" on why I feel da way I do.

P.S.
I'll find'it for yall
 
Good topic

There is nothing wrong with being married IF you want to be! I married my husband because I love him and because I wanted to make a life with him.

For those who are divorced, marriage is what you (collectively) make of it.

As for the people who keep trying to "hook" you up, tell them to mind their own damn business and enjoy yourself. Go as you please without answering to another and just enjoy your singleness. There is NOTHING wrong with being single or being alone. It is what YOU make of it.
 
Okay, u guys have that hidden camera @ all my family gatherings...

and it's even recording the convo's some of my friends "attempt" to have with me.
Until I tell them to STFU and look @ their own miserable lives.

Ya husband or wife is cheat'n. You know it and you want to have a child or more children. :rolleyes:
:smh:
You bring some woes on ya dayum self.

He or she has been married once or twice with 3 kids by 3 different women and you want to marry him and have the 4th kid.

He or she wants to kick it with the boys or girls and you want some quality time. So, you follow him or her to see if that's really where he or she is going and find out over and over that he or she hasn't been tell'n the truth.

I could go on and on. But, dayumitt...single, married, dating...wtf evah...u know what you got before, during and after you get involved. Be bold! Say a prayer and ask God to remove all the negative things in your life and watch what moves out of your way. In doing so, be prepared for the grace that God will bestow upon you. Also, be prepared for the Will of God to happen. If you ask...it shall be done. It may hurt...but His Will shall be done. Try it and see. Do that much for yourself and see how much happier you'll be in the long run with life in general.;)
 
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